Telling the Girlfriend

Hope this is the right forum for this, but since I don’t have a New Thread button in the Members Forum, I figured this would be the place to put it. Since starting up on jelqing in late October of last year, using the newbie routine, I’ve pretty much eliminated any possibility of being below 6” NPBL and, at some times (before the day’s jelqing), measure up as much as 6.125 inches in that category; I’ve decided I’m going to shoot for the 8x6” mark, but after telling a girl I had met online how strongly I felt for her in December, I felt discouraged to continue my routine. I’ve read around here, and other sites which detail the “optimal size” for women, and figured that, if I was still doing PE when we got to our first time, she’d be upset and bring out the usual lines of “You’re fine the size that you are”, &c, &c, and tell me she didn’t want a 8x6 guy. Took quite a bit of time to work up to the point where I told her, but when I did, I told her everything. I felt so strongly about her by then, even more than in December, that I was prepared to give up my jelqing and be a 6x5.5” average kind of guy if it meant the difference between being her boyfriend and being her ex-boyfriend.

Let’s just say that the reaction was.. Far from what I expected.

Her first reaction was surprise that I could actually do that, change my size, and one of the first questions she asked me was “Do I need to do my own exercises so you can fit better?” Then she said that she was “very proud” of me because I saw a problem (average length, when I’m trying to be exceptional), made a plan (jelqing 3 days on with newbie routine, 1 off day, 2 on, 1 off), have a goal, and am working towards it as opposed to just being angry and complaining without doing anything. I admit that I was rather surprised by her willingness to go along with it, but let me say, it was surprise in the best way possible! That was last month, I’ve jumped back into my jelqing routine since then (with the same plan/schedule as I laid out, with no interest in changing it until my gains stop) and really hope to reach that 8x6” in a couple of years. She came to me a week ago and talked about doing Kegel exercises and other things to help make sure things will fit, only, instead of using a metal rod or something else for some of those exercises, she wants to use me. :D We’re going to wait until marriage to go all the way, which will be a couple years to make sure the money’s there to live together, but that gives me plenty of time to work on my stats so that honeymoon’s really, really memorable; I read that, if a well-endowed man is a woman’s only partner for a long enough time, she’ll actually adjust to his size and things will fit that much easier.

I guess the moral of the story is that, no matter how little chance you think you have going in, the worst thing you can do is give up on yourself. Considering that, out of this, I’ve found that, despite my long, long break, I’ve already seen some results in the month or so that I’ve gotten back on my routine, I’d say that goes double for PE.

I have a very similar story to yours. I met a girl back in August, it’s long distance, but I met her through a friend and we began talking on the Internet. Its crazy but it just feels right with her and I already know that she is the one for me, and she already knows I am the one for her. We have visited each other every month, and I am actually about to see her again Saturday! Anyways, I had also just recently discovered PE at the same time and Thunder’s Place. So in the beginning I PE’d for about two months and saw some gains, roughly from October to December. However, I thought if she found out she would think it was weird and think differently of me, so I gave it up. Just the other day though I became interested in PE again. I basically started off the conversation with “what would you say if I told you I could make it bigger?” . She was intrigued but also assured me that my size is just fine the way it is and it was big to her. The main reason I want to PE is because lets face it, I want a big dick, but the second reason is to boost her pleasure. We are also planning on waiting until marriage to go all the way, so I want to give her a hell of a wedding night! Luckily I will have a solid year and a half to work on my size if everything goes to plan and would love to make some serious gains between now and then. The fact that I am doing this and putting this effort in to please her really turned her on in fact. She even checked to make sure I did my workout this morning and requested a pic of my piece after I was done. I must say it feels awesome to have her encouragement, I am now more motivated than ever. Good luck to you!

Great story, I got a similar-ish response, a bit more reserved, but understanding nonetheless.

There’s just one thing that bugs me…

What do you mean by that?

Man, I’m not trying to crush anyone’s dreams here but there’s a good chance everything looks so promising because you don’t really know your girlfriends.

CroneStranger, your girlfriend pretty much said she wants to have sex but you say you are going to have her wait A FEW YEARS? And you met this girl ON THE INTERNET?? You don’t realize what you are doing to her. It’s incredibly easy to meet someone over the internet. Do you really think that this girl is not going to find someone else over the internet who is just as compatible with her as you are that is willing to have sex within the next several years? You don’t have her locked down at all man. You’re in a Junior High, hand-holding relationship with this woman. Even if you manage to get her to agree to waiting a few years, you are in the first phase of your relationship. I can guarantee opinions and feelings towards one another WILL change in the remaining 90% of your no-sex journey.

Ballistictip, I can’t say that she’s not “the one”, but you don’t know anything about your girl either. You can’t actually say you have been dating since August. You have a good friend that have visited with periodically since that time. Knowing whether or not someone is “the one” comes way further down the line than date number nine. There is naive.. But this is just praying for a fairytale.

Everything you guys think you are preventing by not learning about your women is going to come back and bite you in the asses. I have had life-long friends turn out to be awful, unacceptable roommates and I’ve had strong friendships with girls severely strained after trying for a deeper relationship and recognizing the incompatibility. Finding the right person takes a hell of a lot more than an online stat sheet, a few dinners, and a pinky promise.

Like I said, I don’t want you to think I’m saying your love is impossible, but you are both cooking with perfect recipes for disaster if you already think you have found your other half while knowing virtually nothing you should know about them. Neither one of you actually has an adult relationship, and you may be surprised if you ask your girlfriend how serious she thinks the relationship is.

You have to push the relationship forwards a little periodically to see how strong it is. If you don’t, you are not ready for marriage.

.And with that, my final advice is to keep doing PE, because you’re probably going to need the confidence boost when you start dating.

I think it’s a bit naive to judge someones relationship as in depth as you have knowing basically nothing about me, or my girlfriend. I appreciate the advice but you are quite ill informed at best. I have asked my woman several times about how serious she is, and she is just as serious as I am. I had no clue long distance relationships couldn’t be adult relationships either, what an interesting fact.

If you are also saying that couples must have sex to advance their relationship that is ridiculous. Sure it can help to a degree, but it can also hurt. Most relationships change as soon as you have sex, especially if one of the partners isn’t ready for that step. Yes I know it takes a long time to find the right one, and I’ve been through my fair share of ill advised relationships. All I can say is I can’t explain it. This one is far different from the rest. You’ll never understand and it really doesn’t matter. I just know, and she just knows and I am happy with that.

I have to say, Lawman, you seem a bit negative about relationships. :p
You should probably choose you words wisely, because they can prove to be a bit discouraging to people. I’m not saying that your advice was bad, it’s just the way you put it that can yield a negative result. :)

I don’t know about your relationships, but I agree with Lawman on one thing - have sex. Please have sex. It’s such a bad decision to hold on until marriage. I’m guessing it’s a religious thing, but I’m not going to go on an anti-religious rampage. However, I do think that even for religious people there are some things that cannot be rationalized with the instruments of their religion. I consider premarital sex as such. I’m open to discuss the matter in a civilized discussion, if you so desire. :)

Viksenpai I am all for civilized discussion, but I’m not a fan of people telling me the ins and outs of my relationship. Anyways, religion does play a part in this decision. Another reason is neither one of us have ever really had a good relationship until now. Especially for her she wants our first time to be very special, and the best way to achieve that seems to wait until marriage. We both have agreed to try and wait, but we both know it will be special regardless if we wait or not because it is with each other. Trust me this doesn’t mean that we don’t want to! It’s such a struggle not to every time we are together especially since we are so emotionally connected.

Oh and this isn’t necessarily set in stone. We may eventually have sex, its just right now we are trying not too. I think we would like to wait, but we both know that’s going to be pretty dang hard! There is a chance we will be taking your advice one of these days Viksenpai, and I’ll be honest, I cannot wait!

Plus being that we are long distance makes it pretty easy to wait. All I can say is that as of now we don’t need sex. We are perfectly happy in our relationship, except for the distance part. I do appreciate your advice and conversation though Viksenpai.

Good luck with your relationships.

Sex will wait.

Viksenpai

Why do you think lack of premarital sex is unhealthy?

I think that sexual chemistry can be developed, with strong communication and commitment, something that can be obtained through a premarital chastity pledge.

Thanks a-unit

Oh well ballistictip, if it’s not something strictly bound by cultural or religious canons, but instead your own decision that’s fine. I’m all for freedom of choice and if it’s really a choice - who are others to criticize… :)

I’m interested though, what about oral? It could be one hell of an experience and it’s as or maybe even more intimate than penetrational sex and at the same time isn’t the fore mentioned classical sex. That way you can hold on on having sex while still having an intimate and sexually fulfilling experience, and it can also help you actually achieve your goal of waiting until marriage. :p

mizguy12, I wouldn’t use the world unhealthy. Maybe unreasonable. In the sense that there is no good reason to abstain from sex before marriage. None whatsoever, in my humble opinion. As I said, I’m not trying to oppose anyone’s choice, but merely to discuss the reasoning behind that choice. Feel free to discuss away. :)

Viksenpai this is solely our decision. We both have had sex in the past and there was nothing special about it. Just spur of the moment decisions made purely out of lust. If nothing else we are willing to wait until we make a conscious non horny decision to have sex. We just don’t want it to resemble anything of our past because we have both been through some pretty crappy relationships. We just want it to be different and special to each other.

Now I never said we don’t do anything! We do have oral and fool around, and it is amazing! It is a totally different experience with her knowing we are restricting ourselves from actual penetration. It is quite intimate if not more than having sex. This way we do have a physical connection but we can still save that “final” experience for marriage.

I am flying out in the morning to see her again for her birthday, a week long stay in fact! I am looking forward to it, and talking about all this has me thinking about what I want to do to her already! She keeps telling me she wants to see my member after a workout, I told her we can arrange that!