Saying hello, sharing stories
Hi PE folks! What an honor it is to be among so many intelligent and supportive PE scientists. Hoping to contribute to the forum as I gain experience and knowledge.
This is my first post so I wanted to share a bit about my PE journey.
I started jelqing almost 7 years ago and did so for about 3 months. I had, by all objective standards and measurements, a completely average cock. In fact I fell exactly in the 50th percentile in both length and girth. I lost my virginity at age 17 to my first love and had amazing sex with her. She was multi-orgasmic, tight on my knob, and equally as addicted to sex as I was. In other words, I had a marvelous introduction to sex. Unfortunately, the relationship ended in cheating, heartbreak, and psychosis of sorts that I don’t care to revisit. My next girlfriend was very different. Had no sexual experience, very little sex drive, and frequently complained of sex hurting - this was in spite of the fact that she had a much more spacious vagina.
Still unrecovered from my breakup, and with insecurities abound in my mind about my adequacy as a sexual being, I basically drove myself mad and finally developed a full-blown small-cockaphobia that seemed to threaten the very core of who I was. With respect to the reality that sex can be awesome with people of all shapes and sizes I’ll mention that despite being ***much*** looser and texturally different than my previous partner, I still thoroughly enjoyed being inside of her - but - felt deeply threatened by her inability to enjoy me. I’ve only realized 7 years later that it had much less to do with my size and more to do with her psychological and physiological readiness for sexual intimacy. I’ve also realized that she was probably among the loosest of women I’ll ever sleep with - and given that fact, and all my subsequent experiences with women, I feel confident in my size in the bedroom, average as it may be. Where I lack confidence is in the possibly of being seriously out-cocked by another man (I seem to be stumbling into polyamorous courtships lately).
But, at the time, I didn’t know any of this, and I became seriously insecure about my cock. I obsessively researched solutions and found jelqing at another forum (don’t know if they’re still around) and decided to give it a go. My routine, as I recall, involved no warmup, no stretching, just jelqing - I’d never advocate for this, but I was young and had no regard for the possibilities of injury, or affinity for the scientific approach. But anyway, I recall specifically this one event, sitting on my couch and removing my pants to receive a blowjob - about 2 months into my exercises - when her eyes opened up and she said “IT’S SO BIG. WHAAT?” I still hold this memory fondly and it often motivates me today while I am jelqing. I don’t recall the specifics, but I think we went upstairs and had the best sex of our entire 1 1/2 year relationship. I’m certain I hadn’t grown that much, but something mentally turned her on to the point where we were able to “make love.” We both laid in the bed after fucking and pondered if we had just “made love.” It was really quite sweet.
Anyway, fast forward - the momentum of my mental condition carried on and within a year I had to drop out of college and went to go live in a rehab place to get over an addiction, where I eventually found that doing visualizations of myself as some sort of sex god flying around fucking women into orgasm helped counteract whatever negative neural spirals had shaped my mind into such an insecure state. I’m certain this relationship had a huge effect on my confidence as a man, although realistically I should have just realized that she was a major letdown in the sack. You may have gathered by now that I had **serious** psychological problems in my late teens/early twenties, a lot of them triggered by the first relationship.
7 years later.
In the 7 years since then I’ve had about 11 different partners. I can say with utmost confidence that size does not make the man in the sack. Measuring in at no more than 5.8” EL x 4.7” EG, I gave a woman 9 years older than me her first PIV orgasms, was complimented on my fucking by anyone who appreciated a fucking (and some women just don’t), learned many techniques with my fingers, hips, and using gravity/body mass to effortlessly fuck really well, and all sorts of other bragadocious shit that I mention only to make my point (this really isn’t about me): anyone can fuck well with the tool they’re given. It’s not about size, and it has a *LOT* to do with the woman’s own physiology. My current partner can take a fist (or most of mine) in her cunt, and then proceed to have multiple orgasms from PIV a couple days later (it’s not looser after fisting by much, but the nerves are definitely desensitized.
It’s MY obsession.
I’m in a long-distance with the current SO and we’re also poly (she’s been this way for a decade or so - it’s new to me). I really don’t like the idea of being out-cocked, and seeing as 1 in every 2 men has me beat in either length or girth, I decided to get started on my gains for the first time in 7 years. I don’t expect to always have the biggest cock around, nor do I want it. What I want is to reach my ideal - the place where I can no longer look down at myself and think I might be small. Currently I’m 6.1” BPEL x 5” EG with the improved EQ from jelqing - no cemented gains, as I’m only a few weeks in. I want to get to 7.25” BPEL x 5.75” EG. BUT, and here’s the big thing for me: I do not NEED these gains. In fact, I have inadvertently found that I *love* doing PE for its own sake and that I’m a great ride in the sack regardless, *and* that there will be some chicks who do not feel as great to me and probably vice versa.
Things I like about PE:
1. I’m giving attention to my cock - with all the porn I watch, it’s like I never get to spend alone time with my own cock. In fact, I’m often staring at other men’s cocks while touching my own. Spending the quality PE time with it helps me appreciate it. Getting to see it swell up, go through changes as I practice, etc, is in a way its own reward. I really think it’s a great member.
2. The heat - I love warm-ups. I don’t know what it is, but wrapping hot wet towels around my member feels incredibly healing and I’m doing it more and more to ensure that I avoid injury.
3. Always learning - It seems like every day or two I discover something to add to my routine. Today, I figured out that hot-wrapping my member for a minute or so in the middle of a jelq session just feels right. The jelqs that follow feel so much more effective. Practicing jelqing at different angles and in different positions, and tending to my cock in this purposeful way are all amazing. Better than meditation or working out in my opinion.
4. EQ - Were I never to gain a single centimeter I’d still be thrilled about the improved EQ and flaccid length from just a couple weeks of jelqing. My flaccid feels heavier, looks longer and fatter, and overall just gives me a boost of confidence every time I take it out, while my erect is about the same, I think. Nothing special and I haven’t tried it in the sack yet.
^^ This is probably the biggest one for me. It’s just rewarding to have a healthier dick.
I boil a pot of water and pour it into a hot water holder thingie. I pour the boiling water on the corner of a towel, wait for it to get to a safe temperature, and then wrap my cock in it. When the temperature starts fading, I pour the water on another corner and repeat for 10-15 minutes.
Jelqing/stretching - my methods are far from unique, but I do frequently experiment with different strokes, velocities, pressures, and tensions. I’m leaning toward gentler exercises.
Myofascial work - I have some myofascial release experience that I integrate into my stretches. Basically, as I stretch in a given direction with one hand, I use the other hand to apply presssure to the fascia and ligaments at the base of the shaft opposite the side I’m stretching toward. I apply firm pressure and glide my fingers away from my shaft. I believe doing this for two weeks loosened a lot of tension that was keeping the base tissue of my shaft from coming out - I believe I gained a bit of flaccid length from this very quickly, as these ligs/fscia are, *by design,* easily loosened and lengthened with the right techniques.
Kegels - I am inconsistent with these, but recognize their importance. I honestly find them unpleasant to do.
Consistency - I’m consistent about very few things in life and this is no exception. I was, however, doing extraordinarily well for about 2 weeks, but got my first small scare and laid off for a bit.
Worried I had started off too quick - the myofascia work seriously loosened the tissue at the base of my cock where it blends into the fat pad. I don’t know the anatomy of it, but basically, my cock was just hanging more loosely from the base. Nothing bad. Just too much change too quick for me to mentally integrate it.
Numbness - After my first 2 weeks of jelqing/stretching I started noticing that although my cock was bigger, it was also feeling numb, rubbery to the touch - not to my fingers, but my cock itself felt like rubber, as if insulated in some soft thin layer of inbuilt rubber. I believe this is not my member’s tissue being damaged in any way per se, but a change in the receptivity/sensitivity of the nerves from the jelqing motions.
That said, I’ve taken two weeks off and just started again today. Really lovely forum. Will definitely be browsing and posting now that I’ve popped my cherry. I really feel this all comes down to our sexual selves and feeling happy with ourselves in the sack. But it’s quite possible the side-journey of taking care of our sexual health is just as great a reward as the extra inches and hopefully the increases in pleasure and well-being in our sex lives.
Last edited by K_Jallahi : 04-24-2016 at .