Problem with confidence - more than just size
I feel like a sexual mess…
Before I met my gf I was sexually confident. I hadn’t been with many women but the ones I was with I got off no problem.
My gf and I initially had some good sex for a new relationship and for two relatively inexperienced people. She has/had a lot of emotional issues to go through as well as some physical issues which we agree definitely play a big roll in our sex life. I have had problems with premature ejaculation but over time I have gotten better (no marathon man here… but with PE im hoping for it). Premature ejaculation has been a problem for us and has contributed to some problems as well. I plan on fixing this to improve our sex life.
Initially I was able to go down on her and get her off. She was a tough one from the start. She admitted to me that she barely ever gets any satisfaction from masturbation when she is alone. She is learning what she likes but progress seems to be slow. As our relationship went on getting her off from going down on her became harder and harder (I am not sure why… but I have a feeling it has to do with some of her issues). It got to a point where she was never in the mood for me to go down on her because she couldn’t handle being brought right to the point of orgasming but never getting there (a problem by herself and with me). She also couldn’t handle seeing me be upset that she didn’t get to where she wanted to go. Our sexual relationship declined steadily and I felt like absolute shit. When she got frustrated she put a lot of blame on me which destroyed me. Her expressing herself while frustrated really got to me.
My gf and I have talked about it and I expressed myself to her and she completely understands and takes a lot of her difficulty to orgasm as a personal problem that she needs to figure out before we can really go to town. But still, I can’t help but feel scarred by the whole experience. I think about it every day. It has gotten to the point that I get nervous from doing anything sexual with her because I am scared of getting hurt again… scared of feeling the failure of not getting her to where she wants to be. I feel deprived as a bf not seeing her in utter ecstasy when we have sex or I go down on her.
All the mean time, my roommate with a 8.5 inch dick is fucking his gf in the room next door as I type this. She is screaming “omg your so big” among other things. I have a penis just shy of 6 inches erect… not small but not where I want it to be. If I had a healthy sexual relationship I feel like this wouldn’t really bother but because of my situation I feel like this is just the icing on the already horrible cake. On top of my issues with my gf I am starting to get personal problems thinking that my dick isn’t enough or something. I know it’s stupid but it is how I feel after all I have been through.
So everyone… what do you have to say? What is the next step? I feel like I should tell my gf how I am feeling and how sex causes anxiety for the fear of failure. We have spoken about it once before and it helped both of us work through some things. Lay it on me guys… I could use some wisdom.