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Not getting hard for sex

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Not getting hard for sex

I don’t know what it is but when I’m masturbating or edging, I get rock hard erections but when I’m with my girlfriend it’s not as intense. Like it’s stiff and everything is good but none of the “about to explode” boners. Should I find myself another girl? Haha

Stop everything for one week after try with your girl again.


Goal: done, in peace with what I have

Less is more.

It’s just an anxious issue.

my guess would be anxiety

I had the same problem a long time ago.. And it was anxiety :S

Originally Posted by iamthestig

I don’t know what it is but when I’m masturbating or edging, I get rock hard erections but when I’m with my girlfriend it’s not as intense. Like it’s stiff and everything is good but none of the “about to explode” boners. Should I find myself another girl? Haha

If you find the answer in finding another girl, be prepared to find another one after that - and another one after that.

Some men report increased arousal in the novelty of a new sexual partner - the Coolidge effect. . If your relationship with your current girlfriend is otherwise strong, you may want to find ways to make your current encounters more exciting for both of you, rather than seeking a new partner.


For Lampwick, becoming hung like a donkey was the result of a total commitment.


Last edited by Lampwick : 05-03-2009 at .

Originally Posted by ukelberry
Stop everything for one week after try with your girl again.
I will try this

And how can I fix this anxiety issue? We’ve been together 15 months.

It’s often anxiety but it could also be boredom with your girl. Both have happened to me before. Ask yourself this question. After a long day of work (or school or whatever), would you rather spank it to some good porn or fuck your girl? If you even have to think about it you may want to reconsider your relationship or try finding a way to spice things up.

Originally Posted by Lampwick
If you find the answer in finding another girl, be prepared to find another one after that - and another one after that.

Some men report increased arousal in the novelty of a new sexual partner - the Coolidge effect. . If your relationship with your current girlfriend is otherwise strong, you may want to find ways to make your current encounters more exciting for both of you, rather than seeking a new partner.

Correct.


The great elm.

I’ve had that problem. Do you watch a lot of porn? Masturbate to it? Stop.

Originally Posted by Joe_joe

I’ve had that problem. Do you watch a lot of porn? Masturbate to it? Stop.

Yes and yes. It’s so freaking hard to no masturbate, I’m going to have to try hard at this one.keep myself extra busy. It’s when I have nothing to I watch porn which is always.

Originally Posted by iamthestig

Yes and yes. It’s so freaking hard to no masturbate, I’m going to have to try hard at this one.keep myself extra busy. It’s when I have nothing to I watch porn which is always.

Yeah. Making yourself VERY busy is the only way you can stay out of masturbation and porn. Although kinda hard, try to limit watching porn to just twice a month or less if you can because porn can give you unrealistic expectations in sex. Maybe it’s one of the reasons why you are having that problem.

It is definitely a mental difference whether one realises it or not. Actually have had the same booner problem for like 5-6 years. Whenever I was with a girl, specially a new one it wouldn’t get rock hard, hard enough for penetration and fun, but not the rock hard one I want to show off :P actually the first time I had sex it took me like 30min to cum. First I thought anxiety. But after a while I realised that anxiety didn’t really apply to my nature. What iv figured through heavy meditation and soulseeking is really silly simple.
It’s like when your going to bed and your saying to yourself now I’m going to sleep, fuck you never going to fall asleep :P but if you’re tired, going to bed, relax and schmack you sleep. Like when you’re jerking of you’re concentrating on the pleasure in the penis and not going over the edge, try doing the same with the girl, feeling her moves, moans body and every inch of her pussy. Might be easier being this egocentric if you make her orgasm a couple of time first with your tongue and fingers, so you won’t have to think so hard on pleasing her and the performance of penetration. Plus it makes her pussy more responsive to slow and shallow strokes, which may help increase the time of penetration.

My ideology is mental one, physical another. In other words a large cock is only half, the rest is tantra :D

I don’t think masturbation itself is a problem, just when you jack off to porn. That rewires your brain. I still masturbate a ton and I can get rock hard every time. If you really have some porn addiction, you can start by making it less “intense”. If you watch videos now, switch to just pictures. Then only look at topless pics, etc.

Anxiety plays a huge issue. When you are alone, you think about what you want, when you want, and do things how you want - of course you reach peak arousal levels. With a partner it’s a new sensation, it’s the added pressure of them being there etc etc. You have to learn to let go, and be completely selfish with sex…do what you want…make yourself feel good…then you can think about her. It takes practice.

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