Let’s start by saying that I’ve been lurking around here for a while, and have yet to post anything. So let me introduce myself and tell you my story.
My life is good, but it has not always been the case. I’m 21 years old and have had a tough time in the past. I was not normal; therefore I was an outcast in school. I had depression problems and my doctor insisted I tried a new anti depression/anxiety medication. I started taking these pills when I 14 and that was the worst mistake I ever made. The depression went away, yes, but so did everything else. I was in my complete own little world oblivious to what was happening around me. While other boys were out chasing girls, I was alone and content to play with computers. This medication had a negative effect, it completely removed my desire to be social. It also seemed to delay my growth stage as well. It seemed that the medication seemed to prevent sexual development, and definitely sexual desire. I did not even talk to women through high school. The only social interactions I got were my daily beatings from the ‘cool’ kids. I was a loser and an outcast.
By the age of 17, I stopped the pills, and within months, a world of emotions that I had never felt before overcame me. I suddenly had a desire to be social, and was interested in women for the first time. It was all a little too late though; I was such an outcast it was next to impossible to fit in. It was not until this time that I noticed I was really slow to develop. It became the clearest during gym class in the locker room. While the other guys were muscular and showed off their dicks (must be a teenage thing to brag about your dick and how much sex you get) I was short and had the body of a 12 year old boy. My penis was no bigger than 3 inches. I tried to stay out of the way so I would not be seen. It was just a matter of time before some asshole pulled down my pants. The rest of high school pretty much writes itself after that. It did not take long for everyone I passed to look down on me and laugh. I did not really understand why this was such a big deal at the time. Why was having a small penis so bad, that I became a joke?
So I was a small, skinny, friendless, hopeless loser who had nobody to talk to. Which would have been fine if I was still in the medicated state, but since I was now off it, I craved attention. I wanted to be social, and I had sexual desires. Puberty slowly set in and I began to grow. By the age of 18-19, I appeared normal, but my stigma still haunted me, and my penis did not grow much bigger. I grew to a mere 5 inches. In a small town, the people you know through high school will be around the rest of your life, unless you leave town. People did not forget, and even walking down the street was not safe from harsh words. I tried to not let it bother me, but I’m sure a lot of you here are aware of the depressed feelings you can get when you just don’t measure up to others. I did the most sensible thing I could do, I packed my bags and left town.
I left for the big city for college. Being surrounded by smart educated people who had the same interests as me, eventual led to good friends that I still see weekly to this day. My life had finally become better. I had friends, a new life, and a chance to leave my old world behind. Only one thing stood in my way, my penis. While people here no longer made fun of me, or knew of my problem, I still had to listen to guys talk like guys. You know what I mean, when people talk about their sex life, and their hot girlfriends and big dicks, etc. I was still depressed about this. I would never have the confidence to be a man, when I was not a real man below.
This was around the time I started desperately seeking answers. I searched, and searched and searched, and found Thunders place a few years ago. I joined and have not posted anything since. I started the newbie routine and have done it on and off since then. The problem was that I was really not motivated enough to do it, mainly because I was so wrapped up in college and depression that I never committed to it. However, it did work. Doing it for months at a time, I slowly increased my girth and length from my small 5 inches, to my current size of 6.75 inches. Increasing your size such a drastic amount definitely boosts your self-confidence. I soon found my courage, lost my virginity, and have become a much better person. However last week I got knocked down quite a bit. My two closest friends and I were talking, and for the first time since I knew them, the topic of penis size came up. Well, after a lot of talking, between us and their current girlfriends (who were there) I learned that both of them are truly hung. One is 10” while the other is 9”. While they joked about it with the girls, and they talked about how much size does matter, I felt really small. I did not mention my size.. There are some things you should never know about your friends, this is one of them. Why should they be so lucky? I always wondered why they seemed to be with beautiful women all the time. They do not tease me about it, and are humble about their size, but I am still filled with jealousy and a feeling of insecurity whenever I see them now. This has led me here once again. It is time to start again, I need to get bigger, and I need to regain confidence in myself. I know this should not be so important, and to be honest, it really is not. I have a good life, and I’m average size, so I’m not really depressed about it. However, I am still lacking the confidence I want, and it never hurts to have a bigger unit. This time I will do things right. I may need some help along the way. I am going to start up the newbie routine again to get back into things; however I feel that I will need to move off of that fairly quickly. I may need to start some advanced techniques to reach the size I desire. Thunders place has unknowingly helped me so much already, now it is time to do it again. That’s my story, and the reason I am here. Thank you.