Hey guys, I have posted here occasionally before but I wanted to talk about a non PE related problem that I think many here could relate to. I would really appreciate if some could read this admittedly long post and give their honest opinion about how they would react in my situation.
Anyway here goes, I had good size in the past (over 7.5 BP with proportional girth) but didn’t even use it that much. I have done a few jelqs and stuff which worked a little bit. I was on and off though but at my lowest with no PE and not cementing gains I was still over 7 inches NBP and 5.5 inches in girth which was distributed pretty much exactly evenly throughout. Not huge, but enough for me to be content.
However, a little while ago, I suffered an erectile dysfunction that caused scar tissue, loss of sensation, and a loss of girth mainly. I think my girth was still 5.5 at the base but as low as a little under 5 in some places with an overall average of maybe 5.25 if I was lucky. But my glans barely filled up with blood and many girls seemed to feel I was in the average range. Before, I got many more ‘big dick’ reactions. I even had my current girlfriend tell me about guys who she said were equal, one of whom I know cannot be bigger than me (and are in fact probably a little smaller than me when I’m healthy) and say they were the biggest she had seen etc.and that I have a ‘medium sized penis.’ Another time she said my penis was long but average thickness. The reason I know this is while I am not friends with these guys per se, I had been in high school with one of them and double teamed a couple girls with them. Just to clear that up and not to give the wrong impression.
I recently went to the doctor who diagnosed my ED (it was not a PE related cause by the way) and gave me Cialis and a medicine to dissolve scar tissue. While this medicine does not always work, my case was on the low end apparently and he had confidence it would work.. I have already noticed an increase in fullness, with the 5.5 girth taking up more of the overall penis size. I have confidence that things will work out in a few months and be back to normal. At least, this is what the urologist seems to believe. (By the way, I had to visit several urologists to fins the right one who could help me. If anyone needs a urologist recommendation who lives in the Northeast I would be glad to help.) My girlfriend has called me huge, big etc and definitely noticed the difference. She doesn’t seem to care that much though and I know it is more about me feeling ‘back to normal’ and the increased sensation I will get.
Here goes the crux of my post: The problem for me is the mental aspect of it. Even as I’m increasing fullness and feeling as I’m healing, I feel this intense frustration. Frustration that girls have seen my penis like this and there might be rumors about me. Not that my dick was ever small, but say I get my dick back to normal and girls I sleep with claim I have a big dick. (Not sure how long I’ll be in a monogamous relationship and I’m only 21. I do believe I’ll have sex with many more girls.) Maybe the girls who saw my dick when it was damaged will be disbelieving. I know, it’s like ‘who cares?’ but I can’t get it out of my head. I feel like even if I’m totally back to normal I have to ‘prove myself again’. I wonder if any here can relate to this. Since I see people so happy with PEing to larger sizes; but what about all the girls that saw you at lower sizes? Does this bother you sometimes once you have the big dick. I know I need to learn to be happy and be appreciative my ED seems to be able to be fixed. It’s just this debilitating mental aspect that I am suffering with.
As for PE, while it was not the cause of the ED, I don’t think I will be doing it at least for awhile.I will just be so happy when my penis is totally back to normal.
Last edited by Montyspython : 02-16-2011 at .