Insecurities

I would like to take this time to talk about the insecurities of penis size. I think every man has insecurities no matter what size he is. We all want a larger piece at some point in our lives. Some even feel afraid to even confront women because of it. It’s all about overcoming this and remembering a woman is going to like you first and then love you, for who you are as a man. You should never be ashamed of what you have. If a woman is going to ridicule it, then she doesn’t really care about you and isn’t worth your time or effort to pursue that relationship.

Some factors in my life that sparked insecurities. The names I’ll be using are for example and do not refer to any real person.

1. I think the first was high school. As teenagers in gym class we had to shower with the other guys. Of course, we all looked. We saw Joe with his penis hanging and Bob with his stub. We compared ourselves. Okay so I was mediocre. Other guys were similar to me. But of course we wanted to be Joe. Joe was the man. He was buff, athletic, and had all the girls around him. Though we didn’t so much look at what Joe’s attitude was, we just associated his body and having that hanging penis with getting the girls. So strike one. We are now insecure. The “hot” girls don’t pay attention to us, like they do Joe. Joe’s penis has to be the answer to why he has a harem of “hot” babes that follows him around.

Having my first girlfriend, took a lot of these insecurities away. So she wasn’t the “hot” cheerleader but I had found peace with my myself. I realized it wasn’t my size, but attitude that got the girl. After all, she didn’t even know what was in my pants. Then once the time came to use it, my insecurities fell away. My penis pleased her and it wasn’t the size that did it.

2. The discovery of porn. So I had a couple girlfriends and used my penis well. I had seen magazines growing up, with naked women in them. I had though, never seen another man’s erect penis, until I saw my first hardcore porn magazine. I looked at it and was taken back. Though I know it probably wasn’t that big, but to me it looked like it was a foot long. My insecurities are building again. Then I was introduced, by a girlfriend to my first porn video. Seeing it totally put me into insecure mode. Not only were the dicks huge, but the women were going crazy over them. My girlfriends never were so boisterous during sex. What was I doing wrong? Was it that my penis was too small and just could never please a woman like that?

So it came to the point of asking my girlfriends if I pleased them and I mean “really” pleased them. I really didn’t trust them because they weren’t responding to my penis like the porn stars. They would tell me I was great, but I didn’t believe them. I’d ask about my size and they’d tell me it’s all in how you use it and you do just fine. So a little of the insecurities faded over time. I was in my 20s and having great sex all the time. There must have been something to what I had? Hell, a few women would even talk about it. Though I was somewhat humiliated by this, I felt honored that my dick was good enough to brag about. The insecurities vanished.

3. Eventually I found myself a wife and with this came security. Then she was taken from me and was put back into a world, where so called “size queens” now rule. The internet sex sites. Upon reading profile after profile, I discovered it didn’t matter who I was, all that mattered was what my dick was. If it didn’t meet a 7”,8”,or above standard, it was pointless even attempting to swoon these women. I once again felt insecure. Then I went to a local bar one night and was offered a blow job, upon which she asked straight out, “You are over 7”, right”. I told her I wasn’t interested. Of course I was, but was humiliated by the comment. I couldn’t have told her yes to just pull out my 5.75” cock. Insecurity and a loss of self confidence, I once had tons of, were now all gone.

I’m here at Thunder’s now, working on gains. But I am doing this all for myself. I’m not doing it to attract the size queens or think it’s going to make me a better lover. I’m doing it to lift my insecurities and self confidence I lost.

Last night, while edging, it dawned on me. I looked down and saw a penis that gave me incredible strength. I felt more fulfilled than I have in a long time. Not because I think this penis is going to get me a woman, but because I have accomplished something I never thought possible. My work hard work has paid off and I’m once happy again with myself. My self confidence has been boosted. Last night, looking at my penis, I now can say my insecurities are once again a thing of the past. I’m secure with who I am once again.

I write this because I know many guys out there are afraid of confronting women because of their size. Remember, it’s more than just your penis. You first have to be secure with yourself. It’s you that will get the woman. Your personality and own self confidence out beats your penis every time. I gave these examples, because it may reflect something you have also dealt with in life. You first have to be secure with who you are as a man. Finding that security is sometimes the most difficult part, but it’s a rewarding experience when you do.

Just to set the record straight, I found peace with myself. This 10 minute limit drives me crazy, especially when I have a longer post and I don’t catch things right away.

Watch some Japanese porn. Problem solved.

Never understood pecker insecurities. I’m 5’6”, overly smart, average pecker though I always have worked out and maintained a good shape, since that’s something you ~can~ control — your weight.

Still, it seems to me that fat guys have the prettier wives. Baffling. And they make more money. And the more money they make and the fatter they get, the bigger dick they become about it, or in effect it’s PE of the ego for those bastards.

Anyway.

Never understood insecurities. Nobody, and I mean nobody, nobody gives a rat fuck ass what you look like. All they care about is what ~they~ look like. It’s an ego-centric universe we live in, and you are only at the center of yours. For everyone else, they could not possibly care less about any of your physicalities, but rather they care only about how you treat them.

- Saul

James N, that was a good read. Thanks for that. It sounds like you’re well on the way to complete acceptance of self and that you’re in a good place in spite of some of the stuff life has thrown at you. Well done. I agree that Thunder’splace is so very much more than a penis enlargement site. It’s a place where we can share and learn and grow in a lot of different and important ways.

Fixed.

The fact is, you can’t hang up on what women think. That’s a common error. Same thing other women tell other women about men.

Fat girls aren’t skinny minis. Skinny minis aren’t models. Spindly guys and fat guys aren’t Fabio in his prime. Fact is we kill ourselves trying to meet invisible standards. Meaningless ones.

It’s as simple as that. Confidence is not in a giant penis. It is in knowing that you have no need for one to have confidence.

Bingo!! That is one of the most awesome things about Thunder’sPlace. We learn that our biggest competitor is ourself, genuine peace comes from acceptance and the knowledge that we’ve accomplished something awesome, other men have felt the same things and have gotten over it, we have a brotherhood that exists to help others become better. (oh yeah, and women can’t even remotely judge the size of a man’s penis!!)

Good thread man , thumbs up!

We are what we are and soon enough we all be dead, get out of your own head and experience the world. Those that judge based on physicalities have much to learn, best not get wrapped up in their web. Appreciate the shit out of the breath you were given and get on with living.

Life presents itself in moments, embrace them.

Great post James.

I agree with the part about becoming secure with yourself, but only to an extent. I think transforming insecurity into ambition in order to find security is the full picture. This way, you are secure with yourself, but at the same time you don’t allow yourself to stagnate.

It’s reassuring that the walk we make is down the same path. You might wear different shoes and stumble on the rock back there but I got the tree limb in the face and TG? A whole bunch of bumble bees chased him on down the trail.

Later, when the wounds heal a bit, we’ll all sit down by a little creek where the water runs pure. The sun will be rising above the trees and a light breeze will bring with it the smells of summer wildflowers. One of us will be drinking an ice cold beer, the other some water. We don’t know what TG is drinking but it smells awful. Good times.

No matter what you go through in life, hold close the truth that these events ebb and flow like waves of the sea or water lapping against the shoreline. Bad things come and then they go; replaced by good things. Then the bad things come back; then good things again. That’s life, my friends. What matters the most to me is the hand that I’m holding when the bad news comes, the back I’ve got when the bullies show up and the friend I have when all others have departed. Penis size pales in comparison to these things.

Penis size is a problem we universally see as a panacea to the problems in our lives. Dating, confidence and general happiness are derived of this thing. But it ain’t so.

Like How Lack said, it’s who you’re with at the end and what you did that matters. And that you grew as a person that matters most. Not your penis or what you’re drinking. Keep in mind, sometimes the harder shit is the best when it’s some of life’s crappier punches. *smirks* So it may smell, but I’ll be happier faster than a beet drinker.

Thank you all for the insightful comments. I was a little overwhelmed by the reception to this thread on it’s first day and is why it’s taken me some time to come back, with clear thoughts on the subject. Other men were in need of help, in this ever-growing PE community and as my duty I go to them first.

@saulgoode45
I think I’ll stay away from the Japanese porn. I don’t want my ego to get too big. Haha
“Nobody, and I mean nobody, nobody gives a rat fuck ass what you look like.” I tend to disagree with this statement a bit. People do judge others on the way they look and is why some over strive to make their self image better. We live in a world where image is king because people instead of embracing the person for who they are, judge them according to what they look like. I could be the most intelligent, sweetest, giving person in the world, but if I look like the elephant man, I will be judged only by what my appearance is and not the things I can do or have accomplished.

@clgp7
I agree that Thunder’splace is so very much more than a penis enlargement site. It’s a place where we can share and learn and grow in a lot of different and important ways. In my opinion, there would be little reason for a forum if guys didn’t talk about other things once in a while other than PE. PE is not only a quest to grow our penis, it’s a quest to grow as a men. Having other men we can bond with on any subject that have one common goal. Here we’re able to discuss aspects of our lives that we usually can’t with the men in the outside world. This place has helped me realize that other men have similar issues and do similar things as me. We walk through this world, in the dark. Here we have light and can just enjoy male bonding the way it should be. As you stated later on, “We have a brotherhood that exists to help others become better”. I couldn’t agree more!

@thoughtfulgold
“The fact is, you can’t hang up on what women think. That’s a common error.” We are programmed to impress. Our male instinct is to get the woman by flashing our feathers and impressing her. What she thinks is important, because otherwise we don’t stand the chance? “It’s as simple as that. Confidence is not in a giant penis. It is in knowing that you have no need for one to have confidence.” Exactly! Confidence comes from within and the confidence we have is our feathers that will attract that woman. Not our penis. With confidence comes strength and the strong man will endure.

@cockaloca
Makes me feel good, when others appreciate my writing. Thanks man, I’m glad you liked it.

@LittleEngine
“We are what we are and soon enough we all be dead, get out of your own head and experience the world. Those that judge based on physicalities have much to learn, best not get wrapped up in their web. Appreciate the shit out of the breath you were given and get on with living.
Life presents itself in moments, embrace them.” Well said! Too many people let life just fly by and not enjoy any of it. Some shut themselves away in a dark house, because they don’t have courage to face the world. I have fallen to this, but have brought myself out. I realized we only live once and life needs to be enjoyed to it’s fullest.

@Fornestruct
“I think transforming insecurity into ambition in order to find security is the full picture. This way, you are secure with yourself, but at the same time you don’t allow yourself to stagnate.” Stagnating is the problem with finding security. There will be times in life when insecurity will show it’s ugly face again. Putting what you have learned from the other times of insecurity into action and ambitiously taking it on, will get you back on the path to being secure with yourself far quicker. Life is full of lessons and we must remember what got us out of troubled times and took us to enlightenment. Knowledge=Strength. Strength=Courage. Courage=Security.

@How lack
Let the bees chase TG down the trail and away from me. I’m allergic. Haha!! That’s if I’m invited? Is this a mod picnic only? If not, I’ll take “good scotch”, no cheap shit, your treat of course and I’m not carrying the cooler. Bad things come and then they go; replaced by good things. Then the bad things come back; then good things again. That’s life, my friends. What matters the most to me is the hand that I’m holding when the bad news comes, the back I’ve got when the bullies show up and the friend I have when all others have departed. Penis size pales in comparison to these things. That’s life! It’s a rollercoaster. The ups and downs teach us and strengthen us. We realize the importance of what we have and learn to value them. Life will continue to throw curveballs at any moment and our penis isn’t going to be the all protector. Sure, with some of the gains you guys have made, you could use it as a bat. The bat will break eventually and make one realize the importance of life is far greater than image.

@thoughtfulgold
“Penis size is a problem we universally see as a panacea to the problems in our lives. Dating, confidence and general happiness are derived of this thing. But it ain’t so.” The quicker one realizes that, the quicker they will be secure with themselves. You have done a tremendous job of pointing that out in your essays here and more men should heave the warnings you presented in them.
So it may smell, but I’ll be happier faster than a beer drinker.” A favor for a favor. I don’t know of any “beet” drinkers? Maybe juice? But thanks for correcting my error and I know you have the power to correct this error you made, but I think it should stay. Because no one is perfect or all powerful. Our penises don’t make us any more powerful. It’s who we are as people and our ability to learn from mistakes, apply our findings, and grow from them. That is were security comes from.

Thanks again!

I correct things cuz I’m a writer. I often do it for others and to make sure my messages are clear. Until you’re in print on a shelf nothing is a final draft.

That said, I’ll drink a beet if you can heave a warning like a shot put and hit some of the more hard headed members with em. *chuckles*

Power is intrinsic. Directly tied to self-esteem and self worth. Change begins inwardly. Security is understanding the power within you can change the world into a place you want to be in and embracing those facts.

As someone who has studied what makes a human feel potent and powerful, it isn’t virility. Or size. Or the ability to best men in physical combat. It is understanding that the world we live in remains a toy to the minds that shape it. That we shape our realities one thought at a time. And by denying such truth, we procrastinate on living the fullest lives we can and settle for what that short-sightedness can provide.

^^ Ditto this ^^

And back to the thread, and at James et al, if you want to see what true power looks like, and be awe-inspired by someone who had no penis at all, and who was not powerful in combat, and who actually existed and was raised to sainthood posthumously by the same church who burned her alive, read Mark Twain’s “Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc.” I’ve read a lot about Jeanne D’Arc, which with a French accent sounds a lot like Shown Dark in English (book idea, anyone?), and Twain puts forth the most powerful rendition I’ve found. And he did it before the internet, with passionate, ceaseless research, and it is his self-proclaimed most treasured work, and it’s a book hardly anyone has heard of, much less read. It makes his other works seem puny by comparison.

But the point is the power she displayed, and the confidence, and the faith with her little battle axe and banner. It’s a shame we don’t know what she looked like, but it’s a good guess she was unflinchingly beautiful, if not literally then figuratively. She must have glowed, and it was not her skin but her demeanor which gave her light, and her faith, and her confidence, and she was tiny and young and rebellious and scandalous, but above all she was magnificent for no other reason than she believed in herself without doubt or hesitation.

So there you go. Another book to read for you all. You’re welcome.

- Saul

I was thinking about this on the way to work this morning. I have come to the conclusion that a large portion of our society is made up of fake people. Everything they do is done charlatanically. Think of how often people are exposed as frauds.

This brings me to my point. There’s no need to feel insecure because that standard to which you compare yourself is probably fake. The girl would’ve like thought that your 5.75” is well over 7” because she’s been fed lies forever.