In a dark place
Hi guys, I’m a new member here. I am 22 years old and need advice on a few issues, as I am in a very dark place. Firstly regarding the newbie routine my penis doesn’t seem to be reacting to it. I’m trying to master both the jelq and the v jelq, blood doesn’t seem to get to my glans. I find it hard to maintain an erection during it, in my head I am trying to keep count on the number of reps, focus on correct technique and keep myself aroused. This seems to lead to an unproductive session. In which there is no structure and my penis is a skinny flaccid state, not the plump thick flaccid which people describe. Any advice would be appreciated
Secondly, I have an issue regarding my left testicle. The testicle is around 2 inches in length (around 14-16ml) which I believe is underdeveloped either from a small left varicocele(0.33cm) or a retracted testicle during my teenage years. I have visited the urologist in regards to this, he believes the varicocele doesn’t need to be treated on, as the desired effect which I want the surgery to have will not take place( increase in testicle size). Does anyone have experience of this happening, I have read varying reports on the internet of it returning to size. I won’t get this procedure on the NhS, so it will have to be done privately. If this fails, I will try the testicle implants offered by Dr. Ellis, which in one sense sound risky judging from phalloboards, however I’m willing to risk it to lift these feelings of depression and suicide of me. My right testicle developed properly thankfully, which is around( 20-24)ml.
Thirdly, in regards to penis size my erect size is ok at 7x5 with smaller glans at around 4.4 inches(seem underdeveloped). I will try PE for the next few years but of all else fails pmma may be an option. My flaccid size is very skinny around 4.3x 3.8 inches. I believe from the small left testicle my testosterone levels have been effected. I rarely experience morning wood, I have low libido and a child like flaccid penis. Is there any way I can improve this, I’m waiting on test results back from my GP. Hopefully if low, I will be prescribed hcg over androgel as I hear it causes further testicular atrophy
Finally, in regards to my mental state, I believe I have OCD. I was firstly prescribed fluxotine(SSRI) but decided to come off them and attend cognitive behavioural therapy which is a work in progress. I have these constant negative thoughts every minute of the day, I haven’t any improvement in around 2 years mentally, I have attempted spiritual enlightenment, therapy and medication. I’m at my tether’s end wanting this to stop, I can’t see any option apart from surgery which will improve my life.
I understand a lot of this is statements, but any advice would be appreciated. I feel lost and depressed. Thanks