I'm so damn frustrated right now

Ive been trying for so long to last longer during sex. Ive been trying tons of different techniques to see if they would help. What i really don’t get is how one day i can last for like 15+ minutes and the sex is great, and then the next day feel like I’m ready to come 2 minutes into sex. It so frustrating i just wanna punch a hole in the wall. So far some of the techniques that have worked for me is biting my tongue or lip as hard as possible, while trying to think of something else. Ill try to think of things that make me depressed or that I’m worried about. Other times none of this works and I’m ready to cum in a couple minutes. Ive tried staying calm during sex and keeping my breathing smooth, and inflicting pain to get my mind off the sex. Again, this only sometimes works.

Ive done a search on this topic and read a ton of the material on this site. Ive tried kegels but for some reason they tend to make me want to come faster, i have no idea why. Ive read about certain things that can increase your Serotonin levels, and that this can help you last longer. I don’t want to take any prescribed medicine for this but i was wondering if anyone knows of any herbal supplements that do this.

If anyone has any advice id really appreciate it. My girlfriend doesn’t understand why one day the sex will be great and then the next its flat out terrible. I’m really stressed out and frustrated with this. I’m not really sure where to go, or what to try from here.

Try a cockring.

Try beating off first thing in the morning. It works for me, since I usually don’t get any booty until the evening anyway.

Yes masturbation before hand is a good idea. An hour before sex would be ideal, so your penis can be going in fresh but still affected by the last ejaculation.

And your girlfriend may not understand how this year she is skinny but next year she will probably be fat. Things happen and I hate to tell you this but even the most experienced guys have their bad days. You ever played sports? Sometimes you are just on and sometimes you can’t catch a ball for the life of you. Try golfing if you really want to prove this theory.

It sounds to me like you are in your early stages of your sexual life. If that’s the case, lucky you because you have a long sexual future in front of you. The bad news is that it will take some time to learn your body and become more consistant, however, you must remember that you will never be perfect. Funny thing is, just when you think you have it all mastered, the opposite problems start happening like lasting way too long or not being able to get it up.

Honestly when I was around the age of 14-17 I had sex with about 15 girls, and most of them I lasted around 10-15 mins sometimes not even that long. I think being mentally prepared helps alot. When I was younger I was nervous alot and not too confident. Confidence plays a huge factor for me, think your the top dog. I’m telling you it will work. Say for instance if I am really horny I think to myself I going to fuck the shit out of my girlfriend and I usually do. On other days if I’m tired, and don’t care I usually last around 15-20 mins also. Honeslty I don’t care I some of you think I am lying but I have had sex plenty of times for about an 30-45 minutes and even for an hour without coming, usually some foreplay is involved. Try adding a little foreplay that allways makes sex more exciting. Or try jack daniels, he keeps me up for hours withough coming.

I’ve had the same problem. Kegels will make you come faster if you do them during sex, I learned that the hard way. Try reverse kegels and anal breathing, I have had a tremendous amount of success mixing those into having sex. Keep on staying calm and concentrating on your breathing, that has helped for me also. The cool thing about anal breathing is that when you are getting pretty close to coming, you can do it and the need to come will subside. Concerning reverse kegels just do them throughout sex, but its best to do them before you get close to coming because it works better. Also I have heard that if you reverse kegel hard enough it will put too much pressure on the prostate and will actually make you come quicker, but that hasn’t happened to me yet. Just relax, its all in the head.

Oh and a couple more things, you can practice all of that masturbating. If you know how your cock will react to certain things, you will have a better idea on what will happen when you are having sex. Also the last thing that I believed has helped me is masturbating for extended periods of time. If I think that I am going to have sex in the next few weeks I will masturbate for much longer than I need to just to get my dick used to it. I will also stay away from the PONR so my body is not used to getting to that “close to coming” feeling, and it will take me longer to get to that point during sex. I remember when I first started edging I would get to the PONR as fast as I could and I actually started coming quicker. Goodluck.

Cumming in 10 or 20 minutes is just fine.

Most girls are happy to see they excite you to the point of making you come fast:

cum all over them!

If you want to last longer try to masturbate often, but you’ll end up with less cum.

Have you ever considered to just cum and tell her: “You make me cum!”?

After all, isn’t her orgasm your pride, why do you think it should be different for her?

“Relax, don’t do it, when you wonna cum…”

Buy this book:

“How to Make Love All Night: And Drive a Woman Wild! (Male Multiple Orgasm and Other Secrets for Prolonged Lovemaking) By Barbara Keesling.

Read it, practice the steps she gives…..If you take it seriously and practice it absolutely works. I picked up this book back in the late 90’s and it has changed my sex life. I can last as long as I choose & my orgasms are more intense.

I don’t know if you use condoms or not, but there are some out there that desensitize your penis, not all the way obvisually but it takes significantly longer for you to reach that point.

Hi,

I have just begun with the PE and just become a member.

The issue to last longer during sex, is a matter of biology and psychology, witch I’m studying at uni (1term)

Background Theory:
Our Central nervoussystem is divided in two types : Sympathetic (S) and Parasympathetic (PS). Shortly said the PS is activated when we are relaxed, and during a (normal) erection (sexual arousal in both sexes) it’s this system that’s ruling. When we are running from a murderer or are just nervous the sympathetic system is activated and during orgasm (ejaculation) this system (S) is activated.

Actually the big switch from PS to S nervoussystem is causing the orgasm (ejaculation).

Practical instructions:
Is important to “deeply” activate the PS witch means being both physically and psychologically relaxed, so that the system can exist in this state for a longer period of time, before the switch. If the PS system is not enough activated it will be more prone to switch to S and an ejaculation will be a result.

It’s important that the place were the action is taking place is comfortable (especially when you are young, and with not too much experience (as me)), that your worrying is minimal. Then imagining that you are totally relaxed, when you are touching your girl it’s almost like a dreamy state (stoned, but without chem.), be in this state as long as possible, be effortless, careless. Maybe it will come with practice, but this method works for me and I regularly (if my day wasn’t too stressful) have totally 30 min of balling my girlfriend. When I’m incl. Foreplay (and afterplay) is 1h (or more.)

If I’m come too soon I usually wait 15 min (my cock is then totally flaccid) and start again the show, you can use these 15 to stimulate your babe.

I have used the flex-your-PC-muscle when the “switch” is near, and it works if you can hold back your sperm, but I experience that my cock is even more sensitive (but not loosing it’s erection), so is only lengthens the show for only 5 min, for me thou.

Recommendation:

Use the pocopeepee recommendation; ejaculate in the morning,(if you are going to ball your girl in the evening), this will make you less prone to ejaculation in the evening PLUS use the relaxation/imagination “technique” that I have described earlier.

GOOD-LUCK and remember not to worry about a thing, just enjoy the show (in a dreamy state of mind=)

Ares, when you flex-your-PC-muscle, what do you mean it only helps you last 5 minutes longer if you can keep an erection? When I do it it will be very sensitive in the beginning but I keep going then it goes away and then is far less sensitive and I can last even longer the second time around.

There is desensitizing cream or lube available at the drug store that should do the trick. It’s called Prolong or something like that. It’s for exactly your problem.

RandomGiant:
If I choose to flex my PC-muscle when I’m coming I can hold back the sperm, and keep up the erection as long as one wishes too, but I do not use this method as a major, because I do not need it, It was just something I have heard lately, and gave try, what I sensed is that my dick was much more sensitive then before (even 10 min after), I have never expended the time (or used this method several time on a row), because I’m flexing PC-m at the and of the show and that usually 30-40 min of just banging.

I use the “cognitive method” witch I have become accustom to.