I'm new, but am I average

Boy do my wife and I know this one. When you are young and looking, most people want to find someone who is sexually compatible. So begin the war stories. (eg. I’ve done this here or there, this feels really good, etc etc) It’s usually cool until you start to actually care about someone. Ain’t that a bitch. The lesson, as has been said many times, and in my humble opinion, DON’T ASK, DON”T TELL. 14 years later, the shit still gets my panties in a bunch sometimes.

I’d really be interested to hear some feedback. I’ve had it happen multiple times but I’ll give the two that still linger to this day:

Having sex for the first time with my ex-girlfriend, flipped her to try a new position, and was hit with the “careful, my ex used to hit my cervix in this position” followed abruptly by a “oh, you’re not even close, don’t worry”.

Recently, around Christmas time, a girl I was dating and I(who I’m now in a long term relationship with) were discussing opening Christmas presents. She said: “I love opening christmas presents, it’s like taking a guy’s pants off for the first time; most of the time you’re happy with what you see but sometimes you’re really surprised by it and sometimes you’re disappointed.” This caught me a bit off guard and not knowing how to respond I said: “I wouldn’t know.” She then elaborated by saying “I’ve been both.” and went on about the one she was disappointed in(“He was so small, about the size of a gumdrop”). I changed the subject before she could elaborate any further.

Although the last one wasn’t an admission of “super big ex!” it definitely made me wonder why she said it and wonder if she would have elaborated had I not changed the subject. I guess since it was put out there that she’s been “really surprised” by at least one that my mind has automatically jumped to the worst case scenario. I don’t think it was calculated but it could have been.

The same girl has called me “well endowed”, “well proportioned”, and said “the first time I saw your dick I felt like the NFL theme on TV should be playing.” but I feel like each time she was giving false complements(it was the tone of the voice, facial expressions, and lack of eye contact). They might have been genuine though, couldn’t say for sure.

It was mostly about emotional stuff ala “we were in love, I thought we would eventually marry, but then things fell apart.” I don’t remember how exactly, but she brought up that she once dated a guy for a little while that had a really big one — “It wasn’t much fun, it was mostly uncomfortable; there was not much you could do with it.” They didn’t go out for long,

It wasn’t said comparatively, I don’t think it was said to “get to me”. I assume it was said with her assuming that I was secure about my size (which I was) and that this was just an interesting thing that had happened to her once. At the time I didn’t think much of it, other than I felt a little regular old fashioned jealously because I knew the guy and though he was a big jerk.

Now of course many years later after having read one too many of these “my girlfriend’s ex was bigger threads” I wonder WHAT THE HELL? Since I am having a weird ass bout of size anxiety recently, I wonder “what the double hell?”

With the most recent (one that kind of sucked) I was having trouble getting inside her because she has lubrication issues (we had just started dating) and we didn’t have any lube on hand (the issues are regarding her being comfortable in the situation, and she wasn’t comfortable with me going down on her at that point either). After about a minute and a half I basically mentioned she was a bit on the tight side (in a nice way) and she said “Well it shouldn’t be that difficult, my ex was the size of a pop can and he got in ok”. Note my gf is 5’2” and just under 100 lbs. Also note she’s been with about 25 guys give or take.

With my previous girl, she was definately a talker but the guys she had been with had ‘claimed’ they were 6 and 8 inches respectively (I was her third). Turns out they were much closer to 4 and 6 because I’m 7.5” NBP and she assumed I was in the 10” range. That was a very positive experience in my mind and actually gave me a decent amount of confidence. Too bad ms. pop can ^^ had to go ahead and ruin that ;)

Just for fun tonight, when we get to doing the deed, I’m going to bring out a medication bottle I have that measures 8.5” in girth. I’m going to tell her that I want to watch her get that inside her (note, I tried fisting her on two occasions just for the heck of it and never even got anywhere with that regardless of the quality/quantity of lube/forplay so I’m fairly confident she won’t be able to. I want to see her reaction to it and then later on bring up how it’s the “exact girth of a pop can, ironically”.

sta-kool, This is a little different. She didn’t have to say this, but she really didn’t try to hurt you imo, and I think many girls do have a problem with
big dicks. <SNIP> So when she told you about her huge ex, it was because it was a problem, it was uncomfortable, and she didn’t like it.

I’m not that huge.

Yes that is pretty much how I took it at the time. Sort of like “I tried liver once, but I really didn’t like it.” It was pretty clear that she —really— enjoyed what was going on between us in the bedroom. (Wow it is fun to remember that — I may need to log off thunders for a while ;) )

If I had not read some of these Thunder’s “EX” threads, I probably would never have given it a second thought. Ha Ha, don’t kid yourself — BPEL: 8.6” EG: 5.7” is pretty huge. CONGRATS! For me that would be “I have reached my PE goal and am retiring now. The only thing is I got longer than I meant to.”

Spectrum, on the comment:

Having sex for the first time with my ex-girlfriend, flipped her to try a new position, and was hit with the “careful, my ex used to hit my cervix in this position” followed abruptly by a “oh, you’re not even close, don’t worry”.

It IS possible she was lying. The game was to get your erection to subside, its a power and control thing. Once these games start they never stop. Some men say you must “pass” “shit tests”, others of us say “DO NOT JUMP THROUGH THE HOOPS”.

Mine played the same game in various ways, it was usually not cock sized related, but corrosive comments designed to drop my confidence and my dick.

Over time, unless you have a strong support system, it will start to dropping your confidence and you might find your erections either don’t work or are not as strong.

It comes back with the next person if they value you.