I say Amen to that post of Spektrum’s too.
Spektrum - On the women who brought up sizes of exes, of the top of my head I think #1 was thoughtless. I doubt she was deliberately trying to hurt you, or insult you but just spoke without tact or thinking. Probably now a days she just says nothing or “OW!”
I think #2 was trying to give you a compliment but was just real awkward about it, and screwed up the delivery.
I had the size of an ex come up one time. The context was getting to know you, let’s talk about our serious relationships in the past.
It was mostly about emotional stuff ala “we were in love, I thought we would eventually marry, but then things fell apart.” I don’t remember how exactly, but she brought up that she once dated a guy for a little while that had a really big one — “It wasn’t much fun, it was mostly uncomfortable; there was not much you could do with it.” They didn’t go out for long,
It wasn’t said comparatively, I don’t think it was said to “get to me”. I assume it was said with her assuming that I was secure about my size (which I was) and that this was just an interesting thing that had happened to her once. At the time I didn’t think much of it, other than I felt a little regular old fashioned jealously because I knew the guy and though he was a big jerk.
Now of course many years later after having read one too many of these “my girlfriend’s ex was bigger threads” I wonder WHAT THE HELL? Since I am having a weird ass bout of size anxiety recently, I wonder “what the double hell?”