Hello, a question, and a thankyou

Hi

My fiance is on this board somewhere. I’ve joined partly to lend him my support, and partly because he’s said that the guys here sometimes appreciate a woman’s point of view. He talks a lot about this place, his progress with the newbie program, and how supportive everyone here is. I think it’s really helped him a lot to be able to talk to other men who really understand where he’s coming from concerning certain issues. For that, I want to thank all of you for being so supportive and honest and willing to share your own experiences. :)

I’m curious though, and I’ll admit a little worried, about why my SO seems to think he needs to do this in order to “improve” himself. I think he’s perfect just the way he is and he’s the most amazing lover I’ve ever had the privilege of being with (and I’ve said so). I mean, I’m 100% supportive of whatever he feels he needs to do.. But I am a bit afraid that he might hurt himself. How often does that happen, and what sort of harm can come with that sort of injury? Also, I wonder if you could give me some feedback as to what sort of things a girlfriend/wife/lover can do to help/support her SO.

Thanks

Hello.Even with assurance from a woman commenting on a man being perfect still doesn’t mean he feels this way in all the fields.Having a larger penis not only satisfies the woman more and himself as well, but it constitutes other things involved like more confidence (not saying he’s lacking here,but),feeling and BEING more healthy, many aspects in work life, and feeling more manly.I could go on for awhile with the positives. Point is it’s a very nice compliment hearing this from a woman and I can tell you he appreciates hearing this and your concern (us guys love hearing about how big and filling are tools are) for his well being.But if he takes time to research,pay attention to negative affects I.e.(like the difference between PAIN and a good stretch and turning WAY too purple ),and it’s stressed here a lot- and that is PRESSURE/INTENSITY. This is mainly what causes problems.Too much too quick=injury that simple. Things you could do: Well supporting verbal and physical is a huge thing.Giving him a BJ while he exercises, if he can handle it (the exercises that need an erection) this could be good for PC Flexing, Jelqing, and definitely Edging to name a few, and also having a healthy sex life.PE is like working out in the GYM.It is completely safe if you are aware of your limits. Pushing these limits are good sometimes too, but this goes back into too much too quick. Thing is to learn this and apply it. Btw welcome and nice to have another female perspective around.

Hey, Ms.Mommy. Welcome to the forum! I think it’s great that you’ve joined up to support your boyfriend. He is a very lucky guy.

About your questions, lots of guys feel the need to enlarge their penises. I think it’s almost the rule. Most guys think that if a little penis is good, a bigger one is better. We tend to think in terms of numbers. It’s a guy thing. If there’s any vagina to spare once we’ve fully sunken our units, we feel we’re lacking. We imagine that our lovers would feel so much more pleasure if we could only fill that extra inch.

It makes no difference whatsoever that you are thrilled and completely happy with your man’s penis. This isn’t about you. It’s about his feelings. It’s great that you’re supportive.

Regarding injuries, my experience (closing in on two years) is that PE is relatively safe. Problems can occur when guys increase intensity beyond sensible limits. These can generally be avoided by progressing slowly and carefully monitoring ones body. Just like he should never do squats in a drunken stupor, he should not drink and PE. He needs to pay attention.

Injuries can also be avoided by reading as much as possible about any exercises he plans to do before starting them. This forum is a great resource for information—probably the best anywhere. Time spent reading the forum, especially people’s routines and the injury threads, will be very well spent.

The most likely injury one might sustain from PE is really not an injury at all, but rather a cosmetic problem. I’m referring to discoloration. Any intense form of exercise is likely to cause some discoloration. Discoloration does not impair penile function or pleasure, but it might mar an otherwise aesthetically pleasing penis. Fortunately, there appears to be a cure (chemical peels), but that is not for the faint hearted.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Moderate PE generally does not cause this problem, or any problem, really. For me, PE has improved my life in many ways. I’m fairly certain a sensible PE program will do the same for your boyfriend.

Welcome Ms Mommy.:)

Great first post. Your SO is lucky to have you and we are lucky to have you here, now.

My wife is very supportive of my PE and my activity here. I’ve done PE for 2 years and have been injury free from the beginning.

You can help him in many ways, starting with your support that he already has. You can also help him with many exercises, such as edging, Ulis, pumping (helping him to achieve and/or maintain maximum erection, for instance), etc.. :cancer:

Sex immediately after a PE session is great for both partners, too.:cancer: I’m sure that as time passes by many ideas on how to help him will come to your mind.:)

Enjoy Thunder’s!

Welcome ms. mommy, its nice to have another female here. We are a support group and a ‘virtual family’ and we are glad you have chosen to be a part of it.

Faux, SO= significant other.

Hi and Welcome. I kind of envy you and your SO. I would never tell my girl I am doing this. I could not imagine her finding out. I would be horrified.

If I’m ever lucky enough to grow then maybe she may wonder what is up but I guess that will be a happy bridge for me to have to cross. I wonder how other guys feel about their girls finding out. This might be a good posting topic.

I only see my girl every three weeks or so for a few days (long distance relationship). The last time I saw her I had jelqed a few hours before we had sex and believe it or not she said my dick looked/was bigger and harder. She kind of said it as a passing comment (I almost didn’t even notice she said it it was that un announced) when I asked her if everything was still good (the sex) since we don’t’ see each other a lot and at the time had not had sex in 3 or 4 weeks.

I didn’t say anything. In fact because I am so obsessed with this size thing instead of taking it as a compliment I was like so it was not big enough before for you to ever comment on it’s size, which she never ever has. She has never said it was big or good size, or anything.

Besides, the difference could not have been that great since I’ve not been doing PE but a few weeks at that point.

So how do other guys feel about their SOs finessing out they PE? And what do you think about my girlfriend’s comments?

Thanks!

From experience, I feel a supportive SO really helps in PE. Perhaps most importantly, you can be open and honest about your activities, rather than trying to hide (PE is definitely easier to stick with when you don’t need to exercise in secret). I knew about PE and exercised on and off for awhile before I told my SO. When I told her she was great about it, and thinks there’s nothing really weird about it (even if she doesn’t quite understand why). I can’t even imagine how much more difficult and potentially hurtful it would have been if she hadn’t taken it well. So good for you for being so supportive, I’m sure it means the world to your SO.

Regarding injuries, PE is like any other exercise. If he learns everything he can, and goes at it with common sense and without a big ego, he should be fine.

Sorry but I must be missing something. What exactly do you mean by SO (husband, boyfriend, son, what?) It’s really bugging me!

SO = "significant other" - Significant other (sig ot or SO) is a gender-blind, politically correct term to refer to a person’s partner in an intimate relationship without disclosing or presuming anything about his or her marital status or sexual orientation. It is also vague enough to avoid offence from using a term that an individual might consider inappropriate (e.g. lover when he or she considers him a boyfriend, or girlfriend when he considers her a life partner).

From http://en.wikip edia.org/wiki/S … gnificant_other

Welcome to the 90’s, amo 9812!

GM

WOW! Great replies!

I have to say first and foremost, that my SO and I have a very honest and very open sexual relationship. I’ve been with enough men in my life to appreciate how much better that makes things. I’m sure that makes it easier for him to let me in on his most personal and private ventures. I DO think he is perfect the way he is, and I don’t just say it for the sake of his ego; it’s my honest opinion. I understand that the whole PE thing is about HIM and how he feels, regardless of what I think or say about the subject. I liken it to my own body issues.. I’m sure he means it when he says he thinks I’m gorgeous and that I don’t need to change a thing, but I definitely feel better when I take good care of myself and when I work towards being more fit.

That said, and I’m sure you’ve all heard this before, but I have to address this one comment:

In my experience, this isn’t necessarily true. I’ve been with the full spectrum of sizes out there, and I have to say that the literal size of a man isn’t what makes a man a good lover. Far from it, in fact, I’ve found that men who are larger than average tend to put less actual effort into their love-making (in my experience anyway, I know I can’t generalize here). Anyway, there have only been one or two men in my life who have been small enough for there to be any difference in how satisfying the sex was- and it didn’t make THAT much of a difference. I recently read a poll in cosmo (I *think* it was cosmo) that said that most women actually prefer men of “average” size. I don’t know how scientific a study a cosmo poll is (haha), but my personal experience leads me to agree with the result. Furthermore, any woman who would treat a man so poorly (as I read some of the horror stories on this board) because of the size of his penis, isn’t worth the dirt on the bottom of his shoes.

How satisfying any particular size is really depends on the individual woman. Sex with a too large man (and “too large” is relative- a statistically average man is too large for many women) can be downright painful! I was married to a man for years that was long enough that he would frequently end up hitting me right in the cervix and OW! Total mood killer. I could go on and on forever about how great sex is with my SO, who is just slightly shorter than my ex, but with more girth (and skills!).. I don’t just like him the way he is. I’m thrilled. I’m literally gushing with joy over the fact that I can actually relax and enjoy sex, without having to fear that awful pain. I would hate to lose that, you know?

I hope this isn’t an inappropriate question, and I am not knocking PE, but I wonder if succeeding at PE will really rid a man of his feelings of inadequacy? I did notice that you have a forum that deals with the psychological side of this issue, and I applaud you all for creating such a welcoming support network.

Sorry :)

I spend way too much time on another forum that uses that abbreviation frequently. We aren’t legally married (yet), or officially affianced at least as far as the rest of the world is concerned. So let’s just say we’re committed to each other.

You don’t have to have a pair of $189.00 Nike’s to kick a soccer ball in a goal neither ; ) Let’s just say Guy#1 is hung like a horse and just pumps for the whole session, then yes he’s waisting his time and needs to catch up on his reading.And if Guy#2 is in the “average” percent bracket, but is honing in on the females reactions and breathing while adjusting to the patterns that he sees she likes I agree #2 is better and size is disregarded here. So I was not meaning that a bigger dick makes a man an official good lover, but I think it can only justify the situation if he knows how to use it as well.

I have to put up my hands and say that I’m the lucky guy :) . It really helps to be open about these things with your partner, I think it definitely improves the relationship. I feel sorry for my SO having to listen to me go on about me trying to ‘improve’ my penis, and I do go on about these issues A LOT to her. But I think this is because this is something I’ve kept in all my life, I didn’t even mention this stuff to my wife of 7 years, so because of this my SO has to put up with a lifetime of suppressed issues. Poor woman.

From talking to my SO, and from interacting with this forum, it has made me realise that most men’s lives would be so much better if our societies could be more open and honest about this issue. I mean I’m just going on personal experience here, but it makes such a difference to offload. It’s sad to think that there are so many men out there suffering in silence about this.

Just out of interest, how many of you guys have told any friends or family or people close to you about the fact that you practice PE?

I didn’t mean to say that YOU were saying a big penis automatically = better sex, just that the larger than average men I’ve been with seemed to take the sort of attitude where if they happened to be gifted with a big willy that they don’t need to make any additional effort. The point I’m trying to make is that even if Guy #1 and Guy #2 were equally talented in bed, that the difference in their penis size doesn’t make so much of a difference that it would be a determining factor in which man she would prefer, and that all those cosmo women prefer “average size” men for a variety of reasons. I know I do.

As a sort of side note, I once saw a woman perform on Def Poetry who made a reference to wanting to be “filled but not stabbed in the cervix” , at which point ALL of the women in the audience started clapping and nodding in agreement.

BTW- None of this means I think my SO (or any of you for that matter) shouldn’t jelq or anything. I hear it’s good for your health anyway. I’m only mostly concerned about my SO’s psychological health, as much as he is concerned about mine, and would like to be able to help him understand that he is just fine the way he is- better than fine, considering the care and consideration he puts into treating me well. :)