Edging

Michael - set 15 minutes without ejaculating as your goal. If you want set your alarm clock. Once you hit 15 mins, then set 30 mins as your goal. Don’t worry if you blow a load too soon. Just relax and enjoy it, and better luck next time.

My opinion is that if you learn to go 30 mins by yourself, you will more or less be ready to go as long as you want with a partner.

It is basically about learning how your body feels through different levels of excitement so you can recognize the signs and how to back off when you need to.

For that reason, if I were you I would NOT USE PORN when you edge.

The porn will actually distract you from feeling the sensations you are experiencing.

If you want to watch porn to get started, cool. But turn it off once you get hard and give the sensations you are feeling 100% attention.

Sta-kool, i feel like not many people have my problem. I can edge for a VERY long time, probably more than an hour, without much problem. When I noticed that this doesn’t help during intercourse, I bought a fleshlight, and I can edge with that sitting down for 20-40 minutes without much problem, but even that didn’t help. I realized that the difference is that when I edge, my body stays relaxed, while during sex, my body is moving around in most positions other than me on bottom. It is actually me thrusting that is making me not last long (often less than 2-3 minutes), and I can feel my PC involuntary contract. Why is this problem so severe with me, while most people can more easily translate edging into sex?

Because of this problem I almost always thrust while edging to better mimic sex. It is pretty easy if I’m sitting or lying down, but the complete opposite if I thrust missionary style (which is pretty hard to do with a fleshlight and makes it even harder). Should I just keep on practicing, or is there something specific I can do? Btw, I am one of those people that got stuck with involuntary PC contractions as a result of kegeling and it doesn’t really go away.

Good Idea on the thrusting. A few ideas to make the fleshlight work for thrusting type edging “hands free”

Take a rolled up sleeping bag, put it on the bed, put the fleshlight into the innermost roll at the center. In otherwords most of the fleshlight is stuffed into the roll, only the “pussy” is sticking out. Go to town on it missionary style. (you could probably figure out a way to do this with a regular comforter and a bungie cord)

Or put the “handle” into an athletic shoe on the floor, so that the pussy entrance is about the heel of the shoe. Figure out a way to get a comfortable position (build up pillows maybe) and go to town on it missionary style.

Put the fleshlight between your mattress and box springs, get on your knees and go at it doggy style.

All I’m saying is if you get a woman to orgasm in THREE minutes with penetrative sex alone, you are king of all sex gods. LOL! :)

Your leg muscles are contracting, and that’s triggering you to cum. I’m not going to find the reference to this, unless you’re really interested, but I have read from a number of sources that contracting your leg muscles raises testosterone as well as making you more likely to cum quickly. The suggestions sta-kool suggested are good to help you keep your leg muscles activated while edging, which should help you. Also, if she’s riding you, use the leg muscle contraction to your advantage. Clench your legs and butt when you want to get harder and increase your sensation, relax them when you get close so that she can keep riding you to climax. I’ve also experienced the problem that you’re describing.

Have you tried reverse kegels to help with the involuntary PC contractions? I haven’t had those, but many people report that they are able to keep from cumming one of two ways:

1. Clenching and holding the BC muscle (normal kegel)
2. Relaxing the BC muscle and keeping it relaxed (reverse kegel)

My current girlfriend cums pretty quick. Not sure if I’m king of all sex gods, or just got lucky with her. She usually gets pretty vocal after a couple of minutes and she’s cumming soon after. I’m never watching a clock, but it’s only a few minutes into sex. Every now and then she has more trouble cumming and she will use her fingers on her clit, but it’s never taken more than 10 minutes to get her off.

I don’t think I’ve ever made a woman orgasm in three minutes of penetrative sex, but it’s closer to three than 40. Most women would become desensitized after 40 minutes of penetrative sex. At a max, I would say 20 minutes should do it.