Just need too share my story with someone, I’ll try to do it as uncomplicated as possible.
April 2015 I bought the bathmate x40, I used it until end of may (two months). I was not taking it easy with it, I used it 4 times a week and always around 20-30 minutes in hot shower. A couple of times I had it on maybe 30 minutes without a break but mostly 20 minutes.
I did get fluid retention and red spots but I searched and people said it was common and it dissapeared at the end of the day, I usually pumped at 5 pm.
After I stopped using the device I noticed that my erections was a bit spongy but they staid rigid and I thought it was fine, I even think I gained a little bit.
I met a new girl and when we were going to have sex I felt horny but not like before (desensitivity from pumping) and I couldn’t stay hard, when we tried again 20 min later it worked but I wasn’t rock hard and I didnt enjoy the feeling as much as before when I have haid sex.
Months pass and I’m still with this girl and the erections improves most of the time, but they are never rock hard and she riding me is a bit difficult because the erection is a bit spongy and I used to have rockhard erections. Penis would stand straight up and big glans. But it is still good so I don’t complain too much
Suddenly everything changes.
- After a session of sex, I notice a bruise mid shaft one cm in diameter. I don’t think much of it and I think it lasted 2 weeks
- I start getting depressions, really serious. I stay inside alone reading forums about people ruining their dicks with PE and I see my life fade away, I almost can’t eat or move out of bed.
-Then a second depression period starts where I start to believe I have hiv from a sexual encounter with a mtf and start thinking I infected my girlfriend and I freak out. After a week of deep depression I take a test and its negative.
My depression won’t go away so I start taking zoloft, I feel better because even though I still have bad thoughts I don’t panic on them so in that aspect zoloft (sertralin ) helps.
We get to dec/ jan 2016 I’m still depressed because I think about how happy I was with my penis before and now its almost broken I can’t believe it so I start obsessing over it, and I develop what you would call hard flaccid, and I start checking my dick all the time. And when me and my gf are going to have sex I worry and can’t get hard and when I do it fades quickly.
But even when I’m alone masturbating to porn it fades so I start to think I have venous leak or that I have destroyed something on the inside of penis from too much pressure with bathmate. I stopped with zoloft because I didnt want it anymore. And I started eating very healthy and taking supplements. Salad, nuts, fish, omega 3, ginseng, multivitamin, supplements for blood flow and vein repair, I tried creams
Today june 2016 I still suffer poor erection quality and I’m sad every day and thinking of ending it with my gf. I wonder what you guys think. Is psychological ed something that can cause my ed because of my menthal health or is the bathmate at fault. Bathmate made my erections spongyer, I lost a littlle sensitivity and its harder too maintain erection and get really horny like I always was earlier in my life. But its weird that is gradually gotten worse, whats that about?
Sorry about the lenght but I had too get it out, keeping all this to myself is startung to become unbearable. My family friends and gf must wonder why I’m so down and I can’t tell them I broke my dick so I keep everything to myself, its torture for my heart and soul. Loosing my erections and livido takes my spark for life away from me and I fewl lost and all alone. Had I only known all of this before pumping my dick..
Thanks for reading and god bless all of you ( and me)