An unusual question

Ok, so it’s probably not unusual for this forum at all, but a little odd for me to ask. But anywayyyyy, I’ve never been the one to ever think I would have a problem getting a full erection. I always get wood even when I don’t want it and with my old g/f of 5 years I was always ready to go. So I just started dating this new girl, but I knew her from HS and actually dated her kind of in 10th grade so were very comfortable with each other and have known her for over 8 years and good friends with her for most of the time. She’s a little intimidating looking and looks unapproachable but is very nice so I’m not actually intimidated at all. My ex was smoking hot too (I guess I just get lucky) but anyway even when I hold her hand I’m hard half the time I’m making out and everything. When I started to get real frisky with her and get on top and about to stick it in it’s like my dick was afraid. Very weird. It’s almost like I can’t get it back up all and that is very not like me. So I kinda just flip back over and keep fooling around, but it just seems like I’m a weirdo or something or don’t wanna actually have sex with her. Eventually I get wood again.

What the hell do you think is wrong with me? Obviously it’s somewhat psychological I guess, but I don’t understand why. I never had sex with her when I was dating her back when I was young either so I guess you can see I’m somewhat nervous, but not all that nervous. My ex g/f was probably aesthetically out of my league also, but I had no problems at all with that either. I’m in very good shape and USED TO work out on a daily basis. Now I’m overtired from my work schedule (working overnights) so I’m sure that might come into play as I just switched and I’m still adjusting. I also have a horrible diet with all microwavable and fast food all the time, but somehow I remain in decent shape. So besides my crappy diet and my new acquired sleeping schedule I’m sure that might come into play, but it’s just weird that I’m always hard around her. We cuddle a lot and I’m hard the whole time and then fool around for a while and I’m probably hard for an hour straight at least sometimes. Do you guys think that could be a reason, that I’m just hard for such a long time already before I go to actually have sex? Anyway, now it’s REALLY psychological cause when I’m making out with her that’s all I can think about. I’m only 25 years old so I know it’s not that I’m old or anything.

I just picked up yohimbe bark extract too and I’m gonna start taking that just to see if that has anything to do with it.

Sorry for the long overdrawn post. I’ve never actually PE’ed consistently and never really post, just a long time lurker. I had the yohimbe just so I can last a little longer, cause I’m not an hour long guy, I usually go within the first 15 minutes and I’m also obviously a little shy about my dick size that’s of course why I found this site so I’m sure that comes into play with everything psychologically. What do you recommend me doing PE wise or even psychologically wise for this. I mean I never even kegel’ed or jelqed cause I’m afraid I’m going jelq wrong or whatever. But I guess I can start with kegeling cause I have time for that and no one will even know that I’m doing it, but I never really have time for a full PE thing, but I’m going to try it now.

When I’m hard all the time I guess I’m not rock hard and could have a stronger erection, so besides gaining size I wish to obtain that also. So I have frequent erections, but it can probably get stronger.

Anyone have any recommendations or suggestions? I guess ill read the newbie program, but will probably have a lot of questions. Thanks in advance for any help you guys can offer. Again, sorry for the long withdrawn story.

Your right, Its psychological. Its not your health, because you said your hard as a rock up until you you make a home run. The advice to you is just give it time. the next time you have sex you may have trouble again and mabye even again, just play it cool and don’t show that it bothers you. Once you get used to her all will be good and you wont have the problem ever again(with that girl).

I have had that happen to me before. It’s strange. I have very rarely had erection problems except a few times and I can tell you something strange. Each time it was with someone that I shouldn’t be with. One girl turned out to be really bad for me and the other was just not right. I am not saying that they were not good for someone else, I just think that our bodies know things that we don’t. You have to trust that your body knows this isn’t right..

Wad

Accept only what G.O.D gives you and never accept exploiters dare to provide4you.

i’m 25 too. i’ve had this happen before. sometimes i just get nervous when i’m about to have sex with somebody for the first time. plus, when there’s protection involved (i sure hope you’re using condoms), that always takes a little of the hardness away. anyway, i think it’s probably mostly psychological. i’ve also noticed that if there’s too much foreplay, i mean like a couple hours worth, then when it comes time for sex, after being hard all that time my erection gets a little week. i bet after you have sex a few times with this chick it’ll be easy going after that. good luck.

Find your shift key and start using it johnny.

Haha, thats so weird you guys said that cause thats what I was thinking when this was happening. What is god punishing me?? Hahaha, maybe this isnt meant to be. But I’m sure if god was preventing it he probably wouldn’t want me to have sex with anyone before I was married, but I don’t need to get into all of that. Anyway, she is a nice girl and isnt a bitch (well, she is female so.ya know) but she’s not that bad. Ahahha. Like I said I’ve known her for over 8 years so I know all the hidden things too.

I mean I still think about my ex here and there so that might come into play. I never cheated on her, so this is my first new partner in about 6 years. She’s wanted me for a while too just because I played hard to get (it works fellas) because I was still in love with my ex. So I kind of have the upper hand, so I don’t know why I’m having this problem psychologically. I’m gonna start doing the newbie routine (gotta find it and make sure I understand it) and hopefully that will give me more confidence and stronger erections. We’ve fooled around and all, but I’m still insecure I guess about my size so that probably is playing a lot with it. Once I do it I’m sure I won’t mind that much and all. She hasnt been with that many guys but I do know all of her ex’s and they were all pretty big dudes. So oh well.

Has anyone ever tried yohimbe or heard of it? It’s all natural so I don’t see a problem with it, I’m just gonna take em like a vitamin I guess and see if it does anything, but I think all that stuff is crap anyway.

I’m 38 and I’ve found I’m nearly always more likely to have performance problems with a new partner than with one I’ve been with many times before. There have been a few women that were attractive and I wanted to bang them good, but for whatever reason I just never was able to stay rock hard. Psychological most definitely but knowing that has never helped me. Some women are also a lot better about stimulating the man they are with either with their hands or orally. I remember having to really work to stay hard to drill this one girl every time. I typically would go down her and while eating her I would use one of my hands to stimulate myself because she was pretty poor at it even after I did a LOT of coaching. Then I would hurry and get my condom on so that I could get in her and do my best. It was like a freak show trying to keep hard with her. Well I got pretty sick dealing with her and started brushing her off and was doing the ‘friends’ thing. Wouldn’t you know that she complains to me that this new guy she is seeing can’t get a hard on and goes soft so quickly and she’s asking me to come over to help her out. She never realized how much I worked to ‘be hard’ so I REALLY sympathized for the guy. I guess what I’m saying is that after being with quite a few women I’ve found looks of the girl have very little to do with it. If a girl gives great head, talks dirty, likes to stroke you then performance will come easier. If you look at the sequence of events you may find she doesn’t say or do things that are arousing to you. Not putting all blame on the women, don’t get me wrong. But I think we all know how it feels to not click and not feel aroused and if you have a women who prefers to lay back and wait for something to happen it can be brutal.

Good luck.

For reference, I’m in my mid-fifties.

First, give it some time, until you’re comfortable with each other. That said, I’ve learned that ‘arousal’ is a pretty good barometer for the health and strength of a relationship. I’ve been the same woman now for nearly four years and she can still get me rock hard with just a touch on the hand. I have no idea why that happens, but it certainly didn’t with my wife nor any of my post-marriage relationships. All of which, needless to say, failed.

You can intellectuallize a relationship — common interests, etc., etc. — to death, but there’s no way to quantify true chemistry. I (like wadboutme) have found this to be the best indicator. Time for some real introspection, I think…

Yohimbe has major side-effects. I wouldn’t touch it. There are numerous, safer natural alternatives.

While I’m on the subject of chemistry, I’ll add that this is the first woman I’ve ever met who never smells bad to me. I.e., every part of her always strikes me as an exotic perfume, even after heavy game of squash :-) Go figger, but I think that’s also an important indicator.

One more thing: there’s a whole naturopathic field called ‘muscle testing’ which uses the body itself to determine if certain things (usually herbal remedies, vitamins, etc.) are good for it. In brief, you hold the test object in one hand and hold out your arm. The tester tries to push that arm down. If the arm can resist, that thing is good for you. OTOH, if the arm is easily pushed down, it’s bad. This whole erection/arousal mechanism may be similar :-) FWIW.

I think you are on to something Plustwo. I can remember that the two women that that happened to me with just didnt smell the way I liked. One was truly psychopathic as was later seen. I just went limp with her and no amount of Stimulation could help me with her. Weird never happened like that with any other woman. Even the second time was way less intense. You know though. There is this other women that I just think about and get hard and get hard when I hug her. HAHA I suppose that would make some women a bit apprehensive as we are not lovers.but she never minded.

Smell could have alot to do with it.she smells SO GOOD! Yum.

WAd

Alright, so we’ve fooled around since then, but last night I went to initiate it again like a rock the whole time and there he goes again. So I start thinking, why are you trying to torture me little guy?? So I was like fuck it, this is weird and has never happened before but obviously you can tell I’m hard all the time and I kinda told her. She was fine and kept kissing me and said just don’t think about it (moaning more and more probably trying to get me going, but that wasn’t the problem) Anyway, we did that for a little and took a little break. I was hard AGAIN, and then I just mounted her without warning and plowed her. Ahahah.

So needless to say problem solved!! I guess the moral of this story is don’t waste an opportunity fellas. If ya got the chance take it. Could be a life moral too, everything can pass you by if you don’t grab it by the horns and claim it for your own when you can. So I didn’t last terribly long, but 10 minutes later I did it again. She was pleasantly surprised each time because I guess she didn’t expect me to just ravage her. Hopefully this issue will never have to come up again.or maybe I should say hopefully it always comes up. Second time was great sex and she was tired and sweating by the time I was done. Thanks fellas!