Thunder's Place

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30 and still not penetrated a woman - complete failure

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The way you talk it’s hard to tell whether you consider yourself Christian or not but it obviously impacts on you.

If you feel, whether as a part of your religion or not, that sex before marriage is morally wrong, then it’s potentially good that you have not penetrated. It would seem sensible to work through those feelings first and don’t let a world that is hyped up on sexual imagery influence you. There is no shame in not having had sex. If you feel the need to be truly close to someone before you have sex with them, this is not a bad thing. It may well be a beautiful thing. I think many people who have had sex with people they don’t care about would probably say it can be like masturbation with another person present.

Rather than getting caught up on your lack of penetrative sex, maybe you should be thinking more in terms of letting the sex sort itself out once you’ve found the right person. In the end there is no magic to penetration and you will be able to do it, so maybe it’s just not been right for you yet.


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Originally Posted by memento
The way you talk it’s hard to tell whether you consider yourself Christian or not but it obviously impacts on you.

If you feel, whether as a part of your religion or not, that sex before marriage is morally wrong, then it’s potentially good that you have not penetrated. It would seem sensible to work through those feelings first and don’t let a world that is hyped up on sexual imagery influence you. There is no shame in not having had sex. If you feel the need to be truly close to someone before you have sex with them, this is not a bad thing. It may well be a beautiful thing. I think many people who have had sex with people they don’t care about would probably say it can be like masturbation with another person present.

Rather than getting caught up on your lack of penetrative sex, maybe you should be thinking more in terms of letting the sex sort itself out once you’ve found the right person. In the end there is no magic to penetration and you will be able to do it, so maybe it’s just not been right for you yet.

:up: Very well said.


Heat makes the difference between gaining quickly or slowly for some guys, or between gaining slowly instead of not at all for others. And the ideal penis size is 7.6" BPEL x 5.6" Mid Girth.

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Here’s my 2cents:

There’s a reason it’s called “pop your cherry”. For me it was kinda like jumping in a pool of cold water, pulling the band aid off, popping the question, walking the stage, giving that first musical performance, you name it. Penetrative sex, for you, has become a giant mountain to get over. For all of those that have had sex it becomes quickly apparent that it was really a mole hill after the fact.

I too suggest you do whatever it takes to get over that hump (pun intended though not intentional). Maybe a quality prostitute or sex surrogate. Get past this virginity thing asap so you can get your real sex life, and all of the learning about it that comes through experiences, up & running. My recommendation is that you allow yourself to experience it outside of a real relationship so that you can spend your first time with someone you care for without all that first time anxiety. Your first real love will likely have had prior experience as well so you’ll feel on a little more leveled playing field having at least some experience under your belt.

Bottom line, as I see it, is that you need to correct your erroneous mindset and quickly. You’ve spent far too many years as a virgin when you clearly want to be a normally sexual man. Porn has been a hindrance to your sexual development. How? By being such an integral part, or rather necessity for any form of sexual gratification you’ve experienced thus far. Real sex is now a spectator sport to you that need not be.

Quit porn & force yourself to find your real sexual self with a real person. It will not be perfect of great at first but as any musician knows those first notes are anything but magical but repeated practice, doing it even badly those first few or even several times is the path to making sweet music.

You’ve got issues and losing your virginity is, believe it or not, one you can easily fix with expert help. Go get it. The more years you go without knowing the warm, wet awesomeness of the inside of a woman the less likely you will ever experience it with someone important to you.

Time to man up sir & get that dick wet, semi hard or not. Then come back & tell us how weird, wonderful, or horrible it was. Then do it again, tweaking what you do after the learning you got the first time and so on. We’re here for you brother so don’t hesitate to share how all this goes for you. Break through that cherry so you can see that sex is important but not THAT big of a deal to achieve. Like eating, sleeping, pissing, shitting, & breathing SEX is something we were built to do. Untrain your mind to get this truth to root.

Your move….


Start: April 2012 BPEL 5¼" x EG 4¾"----> July 2012 BPEL 5¾" x EG 4⅞"

First goal: 6"x5"

Long Term Goal: 8"x5¾"

Did I really say “unintended though intentional”? I meant unintended but fitting. Oops.


Start: April 2012 BPEL 5¼" x EG 4¾"----> July 2012 BPEL 5¾" x EG 4⅞"

First goal: 6"x5"

Long Term Goal: 8"x5¾"

I understand how it is to be “restricted” morally. I have had other kind of blocks on my life because of this and my advice to you would be that you don’t do it UNLESS you a) find the right person first or b) come to accept (really accepting and feeling it) that it isn’t a bad thing to have sex before marriage, or without the right one.

I believe that if you do it while feeling like it’s not the right thing to do you could have a subpar performance not to mention the aftermath inner storm… I have been so regretful about so many things other people would probably consider ‘normal’ (like losing my virginity to a girl who didn’t love me) that made me suffer a lot… You need to work your way out of yourself before you can try anything that’s outside your moral constrictions, or else just stick to it and don’t worry… it will be worth it either way :)


Last edited by xxlwannabe : 12-31-2013 at .

Daily masturbation to porn will kill your erection with a woman. Stop the porn habit, give yourself a couple weeks or a month to “reset”, and only have sex with a real woman. Erection trouble should go away. At 30 you should have no problem getting it up with a woman unless there is something else going on.

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