The Lube Review
Lube Review- This is my semi-comprehensive list of shit I’ve tortured my penis with, feel free to add or critique 🙃
Sweet almond- dries up too fast.
Grape seed oil - Removes label paint from stickers on tube, must have a citrus type cleanser effect. Otherwise stays slick and works quite well.
Jojoba- dries up too fast.
Red Palm- can stain, no good.
Palmers cocoa butter- Is ok other then the chemicals and expense. Lubes pretty good.
Olive oil- Can be messy and leaves greasy, a bit tacky, expensive as well.
Avocado- Too sticky and expensive.
KY jelly/water based personal lubes- chemicals and dry up too fast, expensive, can be sticky and clean up usually needed.
Marketed pumping/jelq lubes- Ones I’ve tried slick up well but can be messy, require clean up, are full of chemicals and overpriced, have to Internet order and have shipped.
Raw Shea butter- Works very well, similar to Palmers, stays slick and lasts. Does good under heat, melts in hand but for pumping will leave residue in tube after use once cooled.
Coconut oil- Organic unrefined cold pressed extra virgin, no chemicals, great moisturizer, stays slick and lasts. Melts in hand. No penis clean up needed. Will cool and solidify in tube at room temp, removal from tube requires a good hot washing.
Fractionated coconut oil- This type remains in liquid state at room temp and the odor is not as strong as the regular kind. It transfers easily to a smaller travel size lotion bottle. It stays slick for jelqing or pumping, makes a good tube seal. No real clean up needed on body, keeps tube lubed for later use (if you choose). Careful not to spill on furniture fabrics, will leave a grease spot. Cleans pretty easily from tubes also. This is a good “go to” lube. It’s not very cheap, but has better lasting power then most.
Tallow- Yes, I’ve actually tried this for pumping as it works so well for skin care. It stays slick and melts on skin like other saturated fats but makes tube cleaning too much as you almost need a degreaser to remove it. For those unaware, tallow is an animal fat, it is to a cow what lard is to pig. It’s not just beef fat, it’s rendered from the suet around the kidney area of a (grass-fed) cow. It’s make up is nearly identical to that of our own skin and is a highly stable fat with many uses.
For shower jelqing- a good hair conditioner works great. The Shea Moisture brand, (Raw Shea Butter Restorative Conditioner), works very well. Just a dollop keeps lubed up a good five minutes straight. This brand is not cheap but their product line many swear by, and the ingredients are about as natural as you’re going to find in personal care products.
Vaseline and other commercial lotions- While Vaseline does make a good “all purpose lube”, it is a petrol derivative- petroleum jelly. When used for pumping it can over time break down and degrade the tube plastic or acrylic. With that in mind, why use such a product on skin for any length of time? I’m sure motor oil works great as well and grandpa used to clean his hands with gasoline but I’d be hesitant to rub this on my cock on a daily basis.. All these other “moisturizing lotions”, many of which are petroleum based should also be avoided. Just read the labels, do you know what all those long chemical names are and their safety status? Many are known carcinogens and also xenoestrogens. The only estrogens I want my dick exposed to are the naturally occurring ones inside the female sex pot.
Vegetable oils- These should not be used. “Vegetable” is used as a cover word and could contain corn, soy, canola ect, any and all. These oils are all now GMO and using them on skin, or for eating for that matter, is just ludicrous. They also contain carcinogens and xenoestrogens. Same with anything hydrogenated, many aren’t aware what exactly this word means..
“Hydrogenation: This is the process that turns polyunsaturates, normally liquid at room temperature, into fats that are solid at room temperature—margarine and shortening. To produce them, manufacturers begin with the cheapest oils—soy, corn, cottonseed or canola, already rancid from the extraction process—and mix them with tiny metal particles—usually nickel oxide. The oil with its nickel catalyst is then subjected to hydrogen gas in a high-pressure, high-temperature reactor. Next, soap-like emulsifiers and starch are squeezed into the mixture to give it a better consistency; the oil is yet again subjected to high temperatures when it is steam-cleaned. This removes its unpleasant odor. Margarine’s natural color, an unappetizing grey, is removed by bleach. Dyes and strong flavors must then be added to make it resemble butter. Finally, the mixture is compressed and packaged in blocks or tubs and sold as a health food.”
So don’t be fooled that just because you can buy it in a store that it is really safe for use, this is big corporate money here, due diligence is a must in this day and age. Your best interests are not theirs.
-So, I have tried many things, some work, some don’t, some are best avoided. I probably have forgotten some as well. Even though I didn’t specify on all, the oils I played around with were organic or as close to natural as I could get. Many believe that if you can’t or wouldn’t eat it, you shouldn’t put it on your skin. The basis for this is your skin will absorb things you apply to it- trans-dermal, this is how nicotine patches and the like work. This is why we wear gloves when working with certain chemicals also. Common sense would dictate we not poison ourselves via our body’s largest most absorbent organ, the skin.
Hopefully this helps some of you, and if you have used something that works good, please do share with us 😎