So I Spoke to my Wife about Sex

So last night I spoke to my wife about sex. We haven’t had a lot of sex in the past few years, owing to kids, work and in 2012 we lost a son and that really horked up things. But last week we had sex twice, which is about the same frequency we used to have it, and we were cuddling last night and I pillow talked her about last week and whether I kept her cup filled.

She said, Yeah, now you do. But for a while you didn’t. I like the flowers and notes and such.

The sex dwindled after we lost our son, and she pulled away physically and emotionally. I thought things might just snap back, but about a year ago, I decided to put forth extra effort on the small things. I began writing notes on her bathroom mirror, leaving little surprises around the house, really taking care of things like dishes and laundry, and keeping up with my honey-do list around the house. I had withdrawn on that side as well.

She said the small things were making a big difference, and over the last few months she has gradually been coming back to me, letting me hug her, maybe kiss her and hold her at night and such (but no sex). It’s a turtle over the mountain, but it’s progress, right.

Anyway, after we discussed the emotional stuff, I asked her about the sex. Do I do what you want when we have sex?

At this point she laughed. No, she said.

Wait. What?

What do you mean by no? I said.

I mean, everything’s fine, but you are sort of A.D.D. with it. Just about the time I get into it, you switch positions. You’ll switch from one side of my neck to the other, or grab my boob, or drag me to the side of the bed or try to touch me or something. Just pick a position and stick to it. Nibble one side of my neck. Keep your hands in one place. I don’t even care about the position, just don’t change it. Let me settle into one and enjoy it.

She humbled me, but I can live with that. Pick it and stick it. I can do that. Check and check, if it gets me more sex and keeps my lady happy.

After that we spooned until the toddler stuck his head over the foot of the bed and wanted to crawl in with Mommy and Daddy. He has a cot at the foot of our bed during warmer seasons. So I put him down there, tucked him into his little sleeping bag and gave him his giant stuffed elephant to cuddle.

Then I crawled back into bed with the wife, nibbled her a little, and she let me, which is progress, folks, progress.

Now, you’ll all notice there was absolutely no talk about my damn penis size.

- Saul

People forget sex is complex. That people only regard size early on. As afterwards, selection has already occurred and your size is no longer relevant as you were picked because you fit her criteria. No more, no less.

Now, can you fit her performance criteria as a lover and man? That question matters most if you are not a swinging bachelor.

I miss long term at times. And I’ve never married so things like what you describe with living with a woman simply don’t happen. Thanks for the insight.

Hi Saul,

Just let you know that I read your post. Thanks for sharing. I can’t imagine how it could be hard emotionally for a mother to loose one of is child. I thing you right too talk about sex… make me thing that I don’t share enough with my wife. I’m sure that you “sex life” will heal with that positive attitude and energy.

MaxP

This a penis enlargement forum and most of us are here to do that. Sure guys put too much emphasis on it but for some of us it is the only thing sexually that we need to improve on.

As for you I would recommend letting her cum before you think about switching positions. Cant get her to it if she is constantly being switched.

Slow clap. Ha. Ha.

- Saul

Sorry for your loss. That’s a rough thing for a relationship, for sure.

You’ve given good advice. I switch positions a lot, myself. I’ll give a little snippet of my experience:

My wife and I both have had bad reactions to medications this year. I suffered from antibiomania caused by triple therapy. Look it up, if you care; it was hell. She suffered from being overmedicated on steroids, not anabolic, and other medications. She “couldn’t get it up” no matter what I did. She wasn’t orgasming or enjoying sex at all. She was dried out and nothing was working, she also put on 30 lbs. It killed my already crippled ego. Mania turned into depression and debilitating anxiety. Our sex life sucked. I discovered that anxiety causes premature ejaculation. Our bodies simply weren’t working properly. I felt like a failure of a man because I couldn’t satisfy my wife.

I sought therapy to overcome my issues. It helped, it took me 3 months to become functional and about 6 to get back into my flow.

I asked her to see a different doctor and change her meds. She did. She’s starting to laugh and cum again. I can see her come back alive. It feels like we’re young again.

Now if I can get over my sporadic premature ejaculation we can finally get out of this funk.

To add to your sentiment. The only issue about my size was that I was constantly making her sore. If anything, my girth is too much for frequent sex. I can pad my ego, sometimes, right?

The point I’m trying to make is that we, as men, really don’t have a clue what’s important. We think we do, but we’re wrong. It is great to be able to have those discussions with your wife. The sex you get after having those conversations only gets better. Talk and, most importantly, listen.

Thanks for your inspiring post saulgoode45.

You showed what a difference effort and communication made in your marriage. I hope things continue getting better.

Sounds like you are on the right track, nurturing through attention to all the little things and asking questions and truly listening.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I can’t imagine the pain and long term stress this causes.

Best wishes to you and your family.

Communicating always makes a difference. Even if its 3 steps forward, 2 steps back. I’ve found that I need to practice “real listening” along with reading my wife’s body language while she’s talking.