Sexual Relationship Advice Needed
Moderators: I started this thread in the Mens’ Sexual Health Forum. It relates to my sexual health within my relationship, so I consider this the appropriate forum.
If someone found out that I was asking for advice regarding my relationship on a penis enlargement web site, they probably think I’m crazy. From my experience, there are many people on this forum with a lot of knowledge regarding this sort of stuff. Plus I’m running out of ideas for how I can save my relationship, so I’m getting desperate. So here goes. I apologise if this post is a little long.
I’m almost 25 years old. My girlfriend is 23 years old. We’ve been together for 1.5 years. I love her. She loves me. I like many things about her. She has a cool personality. She is kind and considerate. She’s really good with kids. I’m very attracted to her. I like her family. In short, she is the sort of girl who’d I’d consider marrying and having kids with at some point.
There are problems though.
1.) Over the last six months, she has shown less and less interest in sex. The frequency has dropped off to about once or twice a fortnight. We used to do something three times a week. I was happy with three times a week. Now, when we do have sex, it’s routine. We fool around. I go down on her. She comes. We fuck. I come. She’s just not into it much any more. I always have to initiate sex. And when we do have sex, it feels like we are both going through the motions. I’ve spoken to her about this. She says that she just doesn’t feel horny very often, maybe once or twice a month. She is on antidepressants (SSRIs) which I have read can interfere with libido. She isn’t depressed these days. She says she uses the medication as a safety net. I don’t feel it’s fair to ask her to come off antidepressants. But I honestly believe this is contributing to our problems.
2.) In addition to her lack of sex drive, she doesn’t like penetration because it hurts. She says she has only been with one guy before me and from what I know the sex was unpleasant and fairly limited. She has never had an orgasm from penetration. The strange thing is, when I go down on her, she comes in a few minutes. Penetration typically lasts for five minutes before she complains it hurts too much. So I stop. I don’t want to hurt her. I don’t have a large penis. My length is average (about 6”), girth is above average (about 6”). I don’t think it’s that I’m too big for her. When we first had sex I could hardly get inside her and it took weeks for us just to be able to have intercourse. She’s gotten better since then but she still says it hurts her and sex is not pleasant for her.
This has resulted in me getting very frustrated cause I’m not getting laid as much as I’d like. I’m also missing the intimacy of regular sex and we can both feel this affecting our relationship. Also, it makes me feel like shit to know that she’s putting up with pain when we have sex, just for me. I feel like I’m some sort of rapist. Sex is meant to be enjoyable, something that two people can use to connect and be intimate. I feel like, they way things are going, it’s only getting worse. I fear that, at this rate, the sex will soon stop completely.
She has seen a gynecologist. The doctor said she’s physically normal and there’s no reason she should be experiencing pain during intercourse. I should mention that she comes from a Catholic background. Her parents, particularly her mother, is a devout Catholic. From what she tells me she was given the whole Catholic guilt trip, sex is dirty/bad/sinful outside of marriage. I believe this is also contributing to our problems.
I feel like these problems are going to make or break our relationship. I don’t want to force her to change herself, but I want to make the relationship work, because she’s a great girl.
So I’m throwing this out there to my fellow TPers. What can I do? Any advice would be appreciated, especially from the female members.
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