Sexual Identity / No Partner Advice
I need some help to give advice to a friend.
1. He had some penile medical issues as a teen so didn’t have sex or anything because he spent years in hospitals sorting himself out. He had other issues too e.g. high pitch voice for a while, life was miserable for him, but everything got sorted and he is a “normal guy” now and everything is good. He was all good at 22 years old. Honestly he is full of life and really cool acting so you wouldn’t ever think anything was ever wrong with him.
2. He was always tall (6 foot) but kinda slim and saw gay porn and muscled guys porn mainly. He thought he was gay but didn’t know how to find a guy and didn’t want sex with anyone for the sake of it. He got a hooker guy he liked, had sex with him. He liked it but said that he actually didn’t like dick at all. He was only really interested in fit body + ass.
3. He then slutted around with guys for a few years. Series of one night stands, he hit the gym hard got muscle, and even more guys. I was happy for him. He didn’t have many friends growing up and no dad either so I reckon this played a big part in his ‘curiosity’ for guys.
But then he came to talk to me yesterday.
1. He said he is not sure if he is gay actually. He never bottomed in his life nor does he ever want to. He doesn’t suck because he doesn’t want to. As he gains the ‘mens health’ shape he is loosing more and more interest in guys sexually. But he continues sleeping with them because he likes sex. lol He is watching more straight porn and he actually has a pussy fleshlight not an ass fleshlight and loves it. He still doesn’t understand why he brought a pussy still lol. He lives alone anyway so could have brought anything he wanted.
2. He said it is easy for him to hookup with a guy (he showed me some guys and they are very fit and good looking). But he said after 1-2 nights it doesn’t go anywhere and he is trying hard. He joined dating websites and everything but nothing worked out. Everyone just wants sex with him. He said he tried to hookup with females too via tinder but no one replies. Only guys reply.
There is no reason why he can’t be in a relationship - he lives alone, good job/pay, very good looking guy (often asked is he a model), fit, nice personality/no ego, smart as hell can talk about many topics at length etc so I don’t know what is not adding up for him here. I told him try to get someone to sleep overnight, chat to them instead of having sex immediately, make dinner/have drinks etc. He tried this.
He met a guy and they chatted for hours. They banged, the guy then went back to Australia, they remain in touch, my friend booked a Christmas trip to visit him, then the Aussie guy vanished. My friend was hurt but what could he do?
My friend then told me about a guy he met this year. They clicked, banged twice including sleeping overnight but also travelled London over the weekend together and my friend paid for all the dinners and everything. He flew to Portugal on his bday to visit the guy and ‘date him’ at which point he was told he was just a ‘fuck buddy’ and there guy had no feelings for him. They are still in touch via Facebook as friends but he told me wasn’t hurt that the guy wasn’t interested but the fact that he was just a slut/sugar daddy for him.
He had some more examples but I can leave them out.
My friend is now 26 (like me) and has never had a bf or gf in his life. He is not a slut and the most loving and loyal person ever and would make his partner very happy. But the world is making him a slut he says. :( He is getting sad because everyone he knows has at least been in 2 relationship by now and he is starting to feel like a left over.
I don’t really know what to say - can someone here help me help him? Despite everything doesn’t loose hope things will improve but I feel terrible because any advice I give him ends him up getting hurt more.