Question on morality
As you may have read in a previous post I mentioned that it is very likely I have Genital Herpes. I was tested recently, but found out that the herpes test required lab fees and so I could not afford it without insurance. I am going to look for a free place soon, but since I am with a girl who has herpes it’s not at the forefront of my mind.
The question is:
From my research, 1/4 women have genital herpes, and 1/5 guys or about 50 million american adults. That is the general consensus from doctors on the web and in person. The thing is that 70-90% of people do not know they have it. They do not have serious breakouts early on and may not have them for several years.
Hypothetically speaking, this puts someone like myself in an extremely difficult position. I have always prided myself in being honest and empathetic, but I am at a loss for the following.
The odds of a random girl getting herpes from me with a condom on are somewhere between 1/500 and 1/1000 without a breakout, and I have never had one. On top of all that 1/4 girls already have genital herpes. This is a fact. So lets say there is a 1/750 chance that a girl will contract genital herpes from me if we meet at a bar, go home and have sex. The question is should I tell her?
I talked about this with a few of my best friends (who of course are positive they are not cursed with this affliction), and 2 of them said I still think you tell her, and one said “it’s a really tough call”.
I am in no way thinking about my girlfriend but as a guy I think we all think about the “What if”. The reason I think about this is because I would not want to curse a girl with the feeling of being alone in the world, and that is exactly what can happen with herpes. Realistically it is such a small deal when compared with all of the problems in the world. There is also a good chance that this girl would not experience the serious breakouts that some experience. I know this number is arbitrary but lets say there is a 1/3000 chance she experiences regular breakouts after having sex with me. (I am making this number up because there is some reason 3/4 girls don’t know they have it, and that is becasue they don’t experience regular breakouts).
Aside from the fact that she would experience the sadness of having herpes due to a public stereotype, the odds of this being a real life changing disease at it’s face are very low. It almost makes more sense to me in a completely logical way not to ruin the night.
All of that said (I know I am a bit biased) I am not asking for an answer that supports what I am saying or one that does not consider the above informational at all, I want honest critical answers.
Thanks so much.