Problems "edging" while sex

Hi all,

Whenever I have sex I tend have the feeling of wanting to ejaculate after a few minutes or so. I try to extend it because I do not want to ejaculate if the woman hasn’t had an orgasme yet. What I usually do is a variation of edging/going slower/reverse kegels to not go over my limit. However, whenever I am almost at the point of no return and I stop a bit/reverse kegel to not ejaculate, I lose my sensitivity when I continue pounding and this results in a loss of erection. After about 2-3 times of almost going to the point of no return..I just lose it all together and can’t stay hard.

Maybe this is more sexual advice tips but… I had sex with a girl recently who was really into hard pounding (even fingering her she wanted it hard). Starting medium speed and than going really fast would allow her to orgasm the best. Honestly I felt like I’m not really prepared for that. I felt like my cardio wasn’t good enough (even though I’m in pretty good shape going to gym 3 times a week and low body fat) and I would lose erection due to tiredness after a while. I have no clue how people can pound someone hard for like 4-7 minutes. That feels like sprinting to me for 4-7 minutes… But she definitely needed a few minutes of hard pounding before she would orgasm.

Note that I do like the hard pounding…but just my penis is not responding too well.

I was wondering if some members here maybe had similar experiences and have advice. This girl is amazing and I would like to be able to really pound her until she can’t stop shaking and not having to be bothered by my annoying penis not staying hard.

Try switching to oral. It can interrupt the progress towards orgasm for a girl but it will probably also deepen the orgasm when it comes. There’s no rule that once you have your penis inside it has to stay there and there are plenty of options that would allow you to recover your composure whilst still providing her with a good time.

I did do this actually, but I notice that during oral/fingering my penis will go flacid and it will also take some time again to let it get hard.

it doesn’t help my penis needs physical stimulation to get an erection in this respect.

Luckily, with oral you can have a free hand or two to stimulate yourself or your partner. One is all you need, the other can have the thumb in her anus and a couple of fingers in her vagina.

When you edge and lose your erection , are you sure you are not retro-ejaculating ?

You say you go to the gym 3 times a week but do you work on cardio?

I’m not retro-ejaculating (you mean afterwards?). I do feel my horniness decreasing after I do it. I also have this when I edge normally though. It may also be due to my concentration focussing on not ejaculating instead of thinking of her.

I do some cardio but I think I mostly need sex specific cardio also related to ab strength. Jogging is good for the legs and your overall cardio. I feel like sex is like a sprint though.. (if you do it rough). My abs are really sore right now, even though I do train my abs + deadlift + squat etc for core strength.

That’s true but I notice most girls like it when you push her stomach a bit with your other hand, or hold her vagina lips spread with the other hand to be able to suck/lick her her clit direclty/more easily. I guess I should be more flexible with what I do.

That’ll send some girls to the bathroom, uncomfortable. Some even misread an upcoming orgasm as a need to urinate or maybe a worry that they will.

Becoming comfortable and having range in sex doesn’t happen overnight, you have to come across an idea and then practise it and adapt it for you and it’s all too easy to slip into repetitive modes even if you are sleeping with lots of different people. Reading about sexual techniques can help. For example, as we are talking about cunnilingus, there are lots of good books like She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman which was recommended here some time ago. There are so many articles on the net, that buying a book seems old school and maybe it is but there’s also a lot of crap to wade through :) If you get one idea per book/article that works and becomes a part of your sexual life then maybe it’s worth reading the book, also if it puts you ahead of the curve in your age range then you have an advantage in attracting women by referral.

Thank you. It’s mostly the penis problem (i.e. soft while penetrating) that I feel I am lacking. Whenever I go down on a girl with fingers and/or oral they nearly always (90%+) have an orgasm. I even thought of viagra once…but I feel that will do more bad than good at my age. It really must be a mental issue of me just not being horny/in the zone enough in general. I can be super super horny, but moment I stop stimulating myself (also when masturbating) my penis loses its erection within 30 seconds.

I you do watch porn take a month of.
No porn for one month and you will get hard even looking at fully clothed girls on the bus :)

Another way is to not let all of your penis out each time. Stay long inside her. She is tighter at the opening and you will be able to not come for a longer time if your penis get less stimulation from tight pussy.