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Porn and the death of my penis

Some great discussion here and good advices :up:

In some ways I wish porn were much less readily accessible, as it always was before the advent of the Internet.

I agree somewhat with the original poster. I used to dry-hump at 9 years of age and I ejaculated at 12 by ‘mistake’ I was just humping as usual. Sex and the concept of wanking was never a surprise for me - my cousin and I watched porn at 10/11 too. However, I still hump and hold in my orgasms by pinching just under the head quite often. This has to stop as my penis seems to be reluctant to ejactulate (not as powerful as it should be) like I trained it not to by humping. The other thing I did at about 15 was stick my head under the shower - boy it felt good but now some sensitivity has been lost.

I want to only masturbate using my hands and less often too because at the moment it must be everyday - I’m 18 btw.

Cheers

Not cured themselves of watching porn, no, but cured themselves of the desensitizing effect of deathgrip masturbation yes, quite a few. I am a regular at a Fleshlight board, and I frequently recommend the device to women who have FSD to get for their partners to diffuse some of the tension.

My main point in this is if you develop your own powers of erotic concentration and fantasy, you have your own “porn” right there inside your head whenever you need it during sex. I encourage women to do the same thing. Women can get dependent on vibrators, where you can have an orgasm automatically without even getting sexually aroused first, because of the intense stimulation. It’s good to explore your own arousal—if you find out your own tripwires you can turn on the porn in your mind during sex to keep your cock hard.


I think it's the woman's job to tighten up to fit her man--it's lots easier for us.

Buy my book! The Orgasmic Diet by Marrena Lindberg

For problems caused by humping a bed or whatever, see the link in my siggie on traumatic masturbatory syndrome. That’s a pretty fixable one.


I think it's the woman's job to tighten up to fit her man--it's lots easier for us.

Buy my book! The Orgasmic Diet by Marrena Lindberg

This is some great advice on an often overlooked problem. Because sex is still not talked about as readily/freely as a health issue (compared to, for example, something like dieting), it’s easy to fall into the compulsive trap that porn offers (mm, what a trap)!

Zaneblue, your perspective on this is valuable and I hope many more read this thread!

Thanks!

Originally Posted by zaneblue
For problems caused by humping a bed or whatever, see the link in my siggie on traumatic masturbatory syndrome. That’s a pretty fixable one.

Thanks for the link Mr Blue. I think that I better sort this problem out - I’ve not had sex yet and my errections are hard but that probably because I’m only young and have a high sex-drive. I will stop it though - for sure.

Thanks and regards

Good point zaneblue,

“But the other times look at pretty naked women—Playboy or Hustler or simonscans or Petter Hegre—where it’s just a picture, and then you have to use your imagination”

I too look at too much porn, when I could be doing something better. I have a couple of women on the go, so I hardly need to look at porn. I have stopped using porn as a PE aid, so no excuse there.

I think also the key to porn is to not masturbate to it. That way you associate sex with real women and porn with fantasy.

My two peneth (2 cents).


Feb 2003: 7" BPEL x 5" EG. June 2006: 9" BPEL x 6.5" EG

(6" base girth)

Q4L,

I gave up porn over 18 years ago. One of the best decisions I ever made.

To me porn is a lie that will distort your mind. That is how I feel about it.

I’m a big fan of porn - a conoisseur some might say.:p Much as I love watching it I won’t let it affect me. I think it’s a mental thing - if you’re willing to let hours of pretty people porking warp your mind then it will probably do just that, possibly desensitising the mind and dick to real sex.

If it got to the point where I preferred porn to sex, or thought of porn while having sex - it would be time to re-evaluate my situation. For me it’s nothing more than a hobby. It’s important to know one’s limits.

All things in moderation……except cock size..:D


"Drilla Knows Ass" - Para-Goomba

Starter Pics/Clamping Pics

Ahh… porn. My first exposure was about age 9. I saw some pretty hard stuff by age 11. That’s too young. A little boy should not become a man that way that soon. That exposure has fed my feelings of inadequacy ever since. zb, the “ass to mouth, hung black guy” thing fits for me. I see that stuff and my feelings of inadequacy are sustained. PE helps but will never fix that, because I’ll never feel big enough ;-). Porn has been a horrible thing for me, and I DO believe it is an addiction, at least for some… at least for me. It is only a problem if it takes your time away from more important things, like family, your partner, exercise, seeking a partner, work, etc. It’s hard for me to imagine lots of porn time not taking you away from SOMETHING better. Porn has taken me away from all those things from time to time. Even now it saps my energy… it waits for me… torments me. Thank god I have my wonderful and understanding girlfriend who loves me enough to mitigate the impact of porn on my soul. Thank god sex with her is a bigger turn on than porn, which wasn’t always the case with past, less sexy lovers. Sex with her IS better than porn. She is over-the-top sexy, sexy like a porn star who isn’t acting but does a lot of those things and digs them, which may be the minimum level that would even work for me in a partner… because of the impact of porn. Man I’m lucky.

quik4life: I applaud you for pointing to porn as a potential problem. If it seems like a problem, it might well be one. Most men and many women are in denial that porn is a a problem. “It’s a guy thing.” To decide if it’s a problem, each of us must ask how it impacts our lives. If you decide to quit, the best advice I can give you is, don’t sweat a slip here and there. Laugh those off. The worst thing you can do is feel shameful about it. That shame makes you feel lousy about yourself which makes you turn to porn even more for the familiar, comforting rush. Try to avoid that destructive loop. Focus on feeling good about the times you successfully limit your use of porn… and start living a better, more real life.

I’m condensing this from a much longer article. I did not write this, but I agree with most of these points.

Lust aside, porn is dangerous and destructive for many reasons:
1. Porn fosters an unrealistic view of the female body (I would say it presents unrealistic views of the male penis too.)

2. Porn enforces “wrong” ideas and expectations about sex
a. Things like love, respect, romance, and commitment are not found in pornography.
b. Spontaneous sex with someone not known is common.
c. The more common positions used for intercourse do not film well, so porn is full of strange and impossible positions.
d. A lot of action and movement is more arousing than soft, slow, gentle sex, so only the fast and hard kind is shown.
f. Most female climaxes are accompanied by an exaggerated amount of screaming and thrashing.
g. In porn videos the women do not need foreplay - either they are ready at the drop of a pair of pants, or they need only a few seconds of stimulation. (If only that were true!)
h. The women are insatiable, they climax repeatedly, and they are so desperate for sex they will do anything with anyone.

3. Habituation: Porn arouses - that’s what it’s designed to do. When we are aroused by something it creates a positive reinforce in our minds. This leads us to seek out the thing What started as an “extra” becomes a requirement. that aroused us again and again. In a normal sexual relationship with another person this works well, but with porn there’s a problem. Because the porn is incomplete, it’s power to arouse is limited. Over time a man needs “stronger” porn to get the same arousal - it’s very much like a drug addict needing more of the drug to get a high, and the same brain process are responsible for both addictions. The need to escalate eventually results in the man “needing” to view horrible things like bestiality or rape, or the same kind of porn must be consumed in large and larger quantities.

4. Dependency: Another problem is that a man may become so used to the strong stimulation of porn that it becomes more and more difficult for him to be aroused by normal sex with his wife. He may have to fantasize about the things he sees in porn to get an erection, or to keep it during intercourse.

Porn can be like a cancer - the damage can be rather extensive before any hint of a problem exists. Porn can eat away at the healthy sexuality of a long term relationship.


If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

"Boom goes the dynamite."

Originally Posted by big_stiff48302
I’m condensing this from a much longer article. I did not write this, but I agree with most of these points.

Excellent contribution. I agree with most of that, though for me I haven’t really needed to delve into the really nasty stuff.

zaneblue: Thanks for your advice once again. I will cut off porn for a while (1 or 2 months) or at least drastically reduce my viewing. And if I do view some, I will not masturbate to it.

Nick666: Thanks for sharing your own experience. I’m glad I’m not the only one experiencing this problem. That alone is a big weight off my shoulders.

Toolguy: Thanks for chiming in as well. But did you COMPLETELY give up porn, or have you reduced it to an absolute minimal?

Air: Awesome advice. Thanks for the motivation. Knowing me I’ll fall into the destructive loop. I just have to find something else to occupy my mind and time. “Focus on feeling good about the times you successfully limit your use of porn” - I have to look on the brighter side. Once again, awesome advice.

big_stiff48302: Thanks for posting that article. It’s amazing of how destructive something can be, yet still be overlooked or underestimated.

In due time (2 months maybe) I’m going to invest in a Fleshlight. I really want to stop using my hand for masturbation and get used to the feeling of a vagina. I have to train my dick.

Firstly, I’m going to give up porn for 2 months.
Secondly, I’m going to use my new spare time to do some exercise or other productive things.
Thirdly, I’m going to change my diet to include some Omega oils as well as other things “prescribed” in Zaneblue’s diet.
Lastly, I’m going to get used to the feel of a vagina via the Fleshlight instead of my hand.

The only problem I can see down the road is with edging/ballooning. I really want to not pleasure myself with my hand to help increase some sensitivity. But I also really like edging once or twice a week. I’ll try it with the Fleshlight and see how it goes. Vincent van Cock recommended to me a while back to use a cockring while edging. I only keep it on for about 5-10 minutes at a time. I’ll try it using the Fleshlight and see how it goes.

I’m on my way to recovery and hopefully I’ve inspired others in my situation (or a similar one) to do the same.


The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for.

~Oscar Wilde~

Originally Posted by quik4life
Toolguy: Thanks for chiming in as well. But did you COMPLETELY give up porn, or have you reduced it to an absolute minimal?

Gave it up.

Originally Posted by Toolguy
Gave it up.

Damn.

Good for you. Seriously.


The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for.

~Oscar Wilde~

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