Please help, whats wrong here.....

I just got married last month and I´ve been celibate for over a year and a half (occcassional masturbation) up until then, but now I cant seem to keep myself 100% erect long enough to ejaculate. Its like I really have to force myself to keep it up. I wasnt like this a year and a half ago when I was with my ex. I´m 28 now, not overweight, workout regularly. I´m too young for this shit man! This is really stressing me out here. I dont want to take pills either, I´m at a loss here….any advice is appreciated.

thanks

anyone, seriously

Sounds like stress/anxiety of the new life change deal. Learn to cope and address stress and it won’t manifest like that in theory.

Coping methodology was studied in my addiction’s psych class call the “Psychology of Stress & Time Management.” So it could be exercise, martial arts, weekly movie going to blow off steam, etc…… Really simple shit that RELAXES you.

thanks twatteaser, I have had some stress in that I want to have an awsome sex life and be the MAN for my wife. However I feel like that maybe it could be physical. I usd to drink a lot in my past, not so much now anymore. Maybe I should get a testosterone test.

Very possible, but not probable. I say, if you do get those tests done at least find better ways to relax too. can’t hurt you very much. More often then not, but not always, it is usually in your head. Hopefully someone else can chime in who knows about those tests. Give you a more detailed idea from that angle.

Well all right, I’ll jump in even though I’m female. Have you gone on any medications recently? Taking any herbal products? What sort of diet are you eating?

Also, how often are you having an orgasm? And how many of those are masturbation orgasms as opposed to orgasms during sex?

Let me ask you a question. How much do you love your wife? No, I’m serious. Seems like you love her a lot. Are you head-over-heals in love with your wife? Do you cherish her? Adore her? Believe it or not that could be your problem. When a man falls in love truly, a predicament that is maybe less common than you might think, his testosterone level actually goes down. That can make it more difficult to maintain an erection. I saw an article ( http://www.news … al.net/?id=1265 ) on that while googling the topic, because it was happening to me. It took me 25 years (including 13 in a marriage and another 7 in committed relationships) to find the right woman for me… a woman that I REALLY loved, personally, emotionally, and physically. Making love to her is sweet and deeply emotionally moving because I am so very much in love with her. It’s the strangest thing. We can be making love, and she starts saying "i love you so much" and many other sweet, loving things and I begin to feel the emotional connection, and it becomes more difficult to stay hard. My girl, now my fiance, is the perfect body type for me, and she turns me on like no one ever has. I never had a problem staying hard with my ex girlfriend… but I did not love her this way. Hmmmm… interesting huh?

So what do you do about it? Tough to say. Slow, emotional, loving sex can be very nice. I like to go down on my girl when I’m feeling very loving. Doing that fulfills me emotionally, but it also does a pretty good job of turning me on again. That works for us. Another thing that seems to eliminate the problem is to have hot steamy aggressive sex. The animal in you overpowers the love I think… you’re just having great sex with a hot babe who happens to also be Mrs. Right.

Also, try to close your eyes and enjoy the feeling of trying to get hard again. Breath, smile, relax and enjoy the process. That helps me a lot too. Dwelling on it or worrying about it is a waste of time (though it’s a natural response in our sexually messed up culture).

Anyway, hope that helps. Good luck.

Wow Air! Thats me, I´m totally in love with my wife, she is exactly what I´ve always wanted emotionally and physically. So why does a mans testosterone levels drop? Is it because the hunt is over?
I do notice my oral I give is the best that it has ever been, she is squirting constantly, and that does always gets me super hard again when that happens. Its crazy, because I dont start to get limp until I feel that I´m getting close to ejaculating, then it happens. Maybe it scares the hell out of me when I see myself get just a little limp and then that causes me to lose it completely. This could be all in my head, but just to be sure tomorrow morning I´m sending out a sample of my saliva for a testosterone analysis through Medlean. They will let me know if my T levels are normal within 7 days.

I think air nailed it. Most of us men think of sex as a dirty thing. And most of the sex we get is with women we don’t neccessarily love. And up until you find the women you love this is most likely the sex you’ve had. Now you’re with little miss perfect. You love here and you feel guilty because now you’re doing this dirty act with her.

My advice and this worked for me. I’m sure it might seem overly simplistic. But get her to talk dirty in bed. You will suddenly be cured I bet money.

Don’t ask me what this does for the relationship as a whole. My wife and I are doing just fine. But sex isn’t this loving sweet flowers floating in the air, whispering sweet nothin#*&^$% WE ARE FUCKING, Im a man thats how I like it. I cant explain it but the sweety pie lovie dovie crap is for after sex.

Bless you, Pud. The irony is that for a good number of women, it’s when we are hearts and flowers deeply in love that we want to screw like bunny rabbits.

I agree with PUD as well. The best sex can be when a guy sees sex as a dirty almost animal like act of arousal in which fornicating, dominating, and impregnating the partner is the name of the game. The orgasms can be amazing, as is the passion, sweat and intensity, not to mention tenderness, rubbing and kissing. It’s about staying in the heat of the moment. Moving away from that focus and it’s all over for me. We might as well as look at wallpaper samples for the guest room.

Well said, Pud. When my girl talks dirty it’s a lot better than when she talks sweetly. Gonna have to discuss some ground rules. Plenty of time for the other stuff at other times.

You could be right here Pud, maybe a little filthiness is in order. I think a little sluty lustful talk might give me that extra power I need. I need to get myself into that conquering of pussy mindset again…

It’s really funny but I was the exact opposite. After years of one night stands and booty calls, I found I had problems maintaining an erection during sex. It really freaked me out as I was only in my mid-twenties at the time. I was about 60 lbs overweight and smoked so at first I thought that might be it, but started suspecting that it might all be in my head. My suspicion was confirmed when I met my ex who I fell in love with almost immediately. The difference was like night and day. Hard, full erections and the ability to go many rounds in a single session. Of course I wasn’t really making love to her as much as I was fucking the girl I loved and she did talk dirty and generally fit the old axiom of “Lady in the street, freak in the sheets.”