Zig, I would start the edging, stopping process sooner. I was basically saying, that after 20 minutes or more of this you can ride the edge with greater stimulation and basically no stopping.
Look at it this way; imagine a pail that after so much water is poured into it, it automatically tips. With this analogy, ejaculation is the point where the pail is so full it has to tip. No way to stop it, when the pail fills to that certain level it always tips. Consider this pail has a small hole in the bottom so if you stop pouring water in the pail it will slowly empty. This is what I call edging. Fill the pail up, stop, let some water drain out then begin filling again.
Now imagine you discover a way to siphon off some of the water as the water is still being poured in. Through breathing, relaxed face and body, pulling the energy up, tongue to the roof of the mouth, certain sounds, and other techniques you learn how to siphon water off. At first the water fills the pail faster than you can siphon it off unless you decrease or stop the incoming water. Then as you get better at siphoning you can increase the incoming water until you can basically siphon off the water as fast as you fill it.
This is the process I’m talking about that you work on over the 20 minutes or so. Maybe not right away, but after some time you will find that beyond 20 minutes or more, may be different for everyone, you reach the point where you can ride it just about continuously.
For me the solo cultivation is what I do so that when I’m practicing dual cultivation with my partner she can thrash all she wants on my cock and I can ride the energy and not have my pail tip, so to speak. If she wants 1,3,5 climaxes I can stay right with her. Maybe on her fifth one I agree to go with her or maybe not at all. That level of control is pretty sweet, not only for myself but also for my wife. For the most part I can go on indefinitely now. For me ejaculation is a matter of choice rather than an inevitability.
Now some guys seem to be able to do this without any conscious effort but I’m not one of them and I suspect most guys are like this. This is where books like “The Multi Orgasmic Male” and others have been very valuable for me. I still have a long way to go to master and experience much of the stuff Mantak Chia and others talks about but what I have experienced has really changed my sex life.
Solo cultivation allows you to completely control the process without having to deal with another person. Its much easier to slow down or stop your own hand when you need to than it is to make your partner do it.
As far as separating orgasm from ejaculation I have done some of that but not consistently, its like a whole other way to empty the pail. This I am still working on. For me mastering ejaculation comes first, then I work on separating out the orgasm. I suggest start with the ejaculation, get that down first, then work on the non-ejaculation orgasm.
Ive not found many men who want to master their ejaculations so when I find someone who is interested I cant help but jabber. I would have loved someone to talk with when I first started out.