Nose Surgery

I have a question for everyone on here. I’ve been extremely insecure about myself because I’ve had a major nose problem. It’s been broken for I don’t know how long and it’s all I ever see when I look in the mirror. I can’t focus on other stuff. I do have other redeeming qualities, but I guess I have this mentality that “I’m only as strong as my greatest weakness”. I do feel that I would be better looking if I did not have such a fucked up nose. It’s been broken for a long long time now. I would like to get nose surgery, but I’m afraid of how others will see me afterwards. Friends and family will judge me differently.
There is no doubt I would feel better about myself.. Or so I think.. But I’m also afraid it may contribute to this personality of perfectionism, which I’m sure others on this website have, of course isn’t that why so many of us are PEing in the first place? What I mean by that is that I might want to get other surgeries done in order to “fix” myself. I know that sounds crazy, but I feel like getting one done would make me more likely to get more done. I also don’t think this would immediately solve my self-esteem problems either. It may help a little bit, but in a lot of ways it would make me MORE insecure, because I’d be questioning what others think of me knowing that I got the procedure done. Of course with girls I don’t know, I think it would help.
I feel that it may impede my possibility of getting close with girls, because I can’t help but think that I’m not good looking enough to be with them. I guess I’m afraid of the stigma associated with it. Everyone always seems to jump to conclusions that people are “weak” for getting surgery for their physical appearance. I am not trying to get it crafted for beauty, I just want it to be normal again. It’s been badly broken and it does affect my breathing and I believe it would help me sleep better. So there are health reasons and superficial reasons for getting this procedure done.

If anyone has had a similar dilemma or can offer some suggestions that would be great. This has been troubling me for 8 years now.

Do it for you, that’s what matters. Male rhinoplasty is the top of the list for male plastic surgery procedures. In my opinion, you have more reason than anyone. A lot of guys cite professional reasons, appearance for work, etc. If my nose went from normal, to jacked up broken, I wouldn’t think twice. You don’t want to look different, you want to have the old “You” back. Add in the breathing problems, I think you have a fool proof case. And if you had fixed it right when you broke it, no one would say anything because they would recognize you wanted to be you again. You’re doing that, for that reason, just 8 years later. I’ll keep my personal opinion regarding plastic surgery aside, and I think your reasoning makes total sense. If someone asks you why, just be calm and straightforward, say you haven’t felt like yourself and you just want that back. If you’re secure and confident you won’t be questioned.

As for nit picking and thinking about fixing this, then that, then that, etc. It IS a real problem with plastic surgery. It is addictive. We are a society that loves easy shortcuts. If someone told you you could spend 2 years doing PE, to hopefully get 8 x6, or spend 6000 dollars and have a fool proof, 8x6, how many people would go under the knife? TONS. I think you need to examine yourself, wondering what you might possibly think could be “fixed”. Then look at the real ways to fix that. If you have love handles, don’t get lipo, work out and diet. No one cares if you have no abs and no love handles. Pec implants don’t make you look “in shape” if you have 20% body fat. So make sure you see real solutions, that YOU can do for yourself, to these little problems. Then see doctors, do research, and get the old you back.

Add what may or may not be a very small white lie and you are good to go. Simply pick one from the list below:

• It was affecting my breathing.
• That’s why I was getting those headaches.
• It was giving me sinus problems.
• I kept getting sinus infections.
• It made my allergies way worse.

Do it before it has been troubling you for 9 years. You will look better, you will feel better, you will get a better job and you will get laid. Not sure about the last two, but the first two are enough. Just make sure you find a good surgeon and get it done right.

Justlearning, there is absolutely nothing wrong in undergoing a nose surgery for those reasons. If you have something that is really affecting you, get it solved. But know one thing - a nose can’t be changed by any natural means, but your penis can.

You will probably get both laid, and a better job. They’ve done studies on personal appearance and the professional world. Nose jobs are a procedure a lot of high profile business execs are taking to get that promotion. I wouldn’t mind one myself, but I haven’t broken it numerous times and my excuses would be as strong as a 2 year old.

You have a valid excuse.. JUST DO IT!
Once you decide to get it eventually when you are older, you’ll regret that you didn’t pull the plunge any sooner.

I would get one myself.. but it would be gay, since my is not broken or anything.

If you do go ahead and do it, ame sure you choose your surgeon very wisely. Do plently of research and have acouple of consultations. Thesedays people take plastic surgery very lightly and with modern techniques often there is reason to. But Rhinoplasty is by far the most complicated facial procedure and has the highets rate of patients needing further corrective work. Don’t go to a general plastic surgeon. Make sure the guy is a Rhino specialist. Living in America you have some of the best surgeons in the world, so make sure you use one. Go onto to plastic surgey messageboards and find out who are the best nose speacilists in your area.

Justlearning,

I completely share your frustrations and pain. Believe me when I say I do.
Other than an actual rhinoplasty surgeon, I think I know more about rhinoplasty than most.
I once had what I would consider to be a near perfect nose and at one time I was a complete head turner everywhere I went. I didnt even know how good looking I was because I took all the attention I received from women for granted.

When I was young and naive, my stupidity, vanity and perfectionism encouraged me to get surgery to correct a very minor flaw in my nose. I wanted to be totally perfect and I already had the perfect body and the perfect cock. (Post PE)
During the surgery the surgeon’s (probably the assistant) hand slipped and there was an over-correction on the bridge of my nose.

The tip of my nose was also over corrected and I never even asked him to do that.
The result was a saddle nose deformity and breathing problems.
Whats even worse is that everyone I knew agreed the my good looks had been destroyed.
I became a virtual hermit, stopped dating and never left the house except to go to work.
I went from being an 8 or 9 to a sudden 3 or 4 on a scale of 1 to 10

I sued this bastard unsuccessfully because the asshole already had 17 malpractice cases against him. He eventually declared bankruptcy and went to jail for letting assistants perform major surgical procedures. Since then I’ve had 2 surgeries from a top surgeon and over 21,000 in expenses (most covered by insurance) to correct what I considered to be a disfigurement of my face thereby making me wish I never had any surgery at all.

Today I look completely normal and no one could ever tell that I had surgery or had gone through such an ordeal. Thanks to going to one of top rhinoplasty surgeons in this country (if not the world) but I am still not totally happy with my nose. All while its a great improvement over what I looked like after I was butchered, I don’t feel as attractive as I was originally. My nose was rebuilt with septum and ear cartilage but the surgeon told me that total restoration of my natural appearance would require reconstruction in several stages. We are dealing with scar tissue and he can only work on the tissues for so many hours before distortion of swollen tissues makes surgery difficult.

I feel my nose does not fit my face and while its much better than the disfigurement; it’s still too small for my face and therefore not in harmony with the rest of my facial features. The bridge needs to be higher and the tip needs to project just a little more. I feel like Michael Jackson. On a scale of 1 to 10; I think of myself as a 6 and its all because of the nose.

When I have the money I definitely plan to get this done. It’s just a matter of finances for me.
I share your pain because every time I look in the mirror I see a complete stranger. I simply wish to restore my appearance to my natural appearance. I’m sure that we share or have shared similar pain and frustrations.

Having said that, consider that there are people out there who are dying from cancer, there are people out there who have been severely scarred in a fire or confined to a wheelchair, battling alcoholism or diabetes.
There are people out there missing limbs or going through major mental illness. etc etc. Get things into perspective and be thankful for what you do have and you can go forward with the right attitude while you figure a solution to your problem.

Justlearning.

It’s simply a matter of putting something back the way it was. There is no need to feel any guilt about that.

Apart from which, If you go to a job interview, you make sure you are presenting yourself in the best possible manner. So why not make sure Everything is right. Don’t let yourself down!

I’ve been blind in one eye since a baby, and the eye had wandered over to the side. (I once got the sack because the boss thought I was talking to him , when in fact I was talking to a colleague). So I decided to have it straightened It was done, and your post was the first time I had even thought about it in years. I certainly never regretted it.

Get it done. - soonest!

Hi supersizeit,

I think many at Thunders are like you and want to perfect themselves physically. The nature of the forum suggests a higher than average proportion of us will be like that. But, as concerns your last comments here. As a guy who has gone through this kind of thing and understands how obsessive people can be, don’t you think these kind of comments can just make the person feel guilty? I don’t ask this in a confrontational way or am not suggesting you shouldn’t have said them, it’s just I thought that maybe you’d have felt guilty about being so vain and fussy about your nose and therefore understand that people in that situation often don’t want to hear things, such as others are far worse of, as it trivialises the way they feel and makes them feel guilty for allowing something so superficial, as a nose they don’t like, effect their life. I’m genuinely not having a dig at you for saying these things, though i know it sounds like I am, but just want to know if perhaps you’d have wanted to hear that prior to your nose work. I appreciate why you say these things, especially given your poor results and the terrible effect it had on you, but at the time, would you have appreciated someone telling you to get things in perspective. Again, not trying to sound like a cock, but it’s a pretty obvious thing to point out and I’m sure everyone who is so fixated on a particular body part is already aware of this and feels ashamed of themselves becasue of it. I guess what I’m trying to say, is in times like this, I don’t think people want to be empathised with and whilst it is clear you can empathised with him, maybe I’m asking have you forgotten how you felt pre surgery?

PS, did you use Dean Toriumu (sp?) in Chicago for your revision. Isn’t he the Godfather of American nose jobs?

joey999,

One of the things that I love about Thunders is posters like you bro.
A forum provides a venue for the free flow of information, ideas and concepts whereby everyone can have an opinion.
Unfortunately not all forums are of high quality and the quality is always a function of management (mods) and the cooperation of the members.
The very best members are able to discuss even the most controversial topics in an intelligent and respectful way without letting their egos get in the way or flaming anybody to make themselves feel superior or smarter.

Your post is a well written one and a shining example that I wish more people would follow when they don’t agree with others.
I therefore don’t consider your post as confrontational but more as an attempt to stimulate interesting debate.
So let me address your concerns here because I think it deserves a thoughtful answer:

Often times when we are going through what we might consider to be difficult times, we see our problems framed in the setting of whatever our values and/or beliefs are; meaning that the pain or frustration we encounter along the way is relative to how much value we place on that particular issue based on what we have already experienced or learned in life. We might even develop these values based on the people we know and what they may have encountered in the past. e.g. a spoiled rich "daddy’s little girl" named Lisa who never had a days worry in her life breaks her nail and thinks its the end of the world, throwing temper tantrums and threatening to sue everyone.
A poor working class Jane loses a whole finger or thumb in a work related accident and despite being visibly shaken/upset still manages to react less dramatically and less emotionally than princess Lisa, she is calm and poised by the time they rush her to the hospital in an attempt to sew it back on. (Ok maybe a bad analogy or gross exaggeration but you get my basic drift here)

My dialogue about getting things in perspective is an attempt to narrow that gap.
For about 2 years, as a result of my nose, I went all to hell, lost weight from not eating and began ruining my health and going out of my mind.
You see "I" thought it was the end of the world when my nose was butchered and I was under psychiatric care and was taking lithium and other anti- depressants. I would hardly talk to anyone and had some serious thoughts about murdering that surgeon but knew that taking a life was not the solution. Through all this I was never so depressed as to think of suicide but I understood how one might arrive at those thoughts.

I knew that the only physical solution was to find a good reconstructive surgeon and that would be the only solution as far as the "physical" is concerned. I didn’t have health insurance so I went out of my way to get a job with health benefits just so I can have this operation. Like I said before I was young and in retrospect I needed to go through this bad experience to become the person I am today. Until the time that I found this surgeon I needed to get my mind in the proper frame because I was making things harder on myself than they actually needed to be; I therefore read books about psychology, philosophy, math, physics and I fed my mind in an attempt to keep it busy and stop it from drifting into depression.
I addressed the "mental" aspect of this problem and learned more about who I really am.

I began to see that all we really are minds encased within a shell. A shell that we must live with for the rest of our lives; to that extent, a face, a penis, our height, our bodies etc etc are physical extensions of ourselves but they are not the real person that resides inside but merely "the shell" It so easy to make that powerful association because we tend to identify how we look with who we are. The mind and body as a whole unit and integrated as one. I have the advantage over others of knowing what its like to be ugly and what its like to be handsome. This allows me to be very sensitive to other people and their physical deficiencies, image problems or health problems. i.e I feel I have a more balanced outlook as a result of my horrible expereince and yet…. in the end it was only a nose that needed to be fixed.

Can we alter these shells? Yes in some cases we can successfully and in others we can only learn to live with the image and look inwards for strength. Look how productive a guy like Stephen Hawking is despite his physical condtion. If there is an actual solution or even hope for a solution then we never give up and keep trying for that solution.
A broken nose to me is not the end of the world, these things can be fixed with a high degree of success. Its ok to mourn or cry because lord knows I did plenty of that when I was butchered but I grew spiritually as a person inside and its then that I realized that something positive came from that nightmare and I began to see things in a better perspective. A perspective that I may have never seen if I had not suffered through what I had suffered through.

I guess what I’m more or less saying is be thankful if you have your health and take inventory of the world around you and you realize that there are people out there that cannot even fix their problems. justlearning should feel comfort in knowing that a very superficial problem such as a broken nose has a solution and the sooner justlearning embarks on that path to finding a good surgeon and getting into the proper frame of mind, the sooner he will change his life and his troubled mind for the better. I hope that by posting my experience, I have brought justlearning some level of comfort and the understanding and fortitude to deal with his problem.

This was the reconstructive surgeon who restored me to a normal appearance:

http://www.drconstantian.com/

I had nose surgery this past winter for broken nose and a deviated septum. I only wish I would have had it 15 years ago. I sleep better and if I didn’t tell people anything they would never know. Find a ENT Doctor and see what he can do for you. If you have any questions just post me and good luck.

Definitely follow joey’s advice on researching your surgeon. PLastic surgery forums are a great place to do that (I love forums, and use to research any big thing in my life). One thing you need to look for is someone specializing in MALE rhinoplasty. There’s surgeons that might do 1000 female nosejobs a year, and 20 male ones. Do you want that Dr deciding how you should look? No, you want the doctor that realizes the new market that is male plastic surgery, and has developed his skill set for it. A nose completely changes the way you look, and a plastic surgeon is almost like an artist in how they sculpt your face. If the doctor is used to giving hot girls small noses, he might not have any idea how to give you “a strong masculine nose, but a normal size”.

Just make sure you do lots of research before going with a doctor. Some do open incisions, closed surgeries, in the nose, blah blah.

I can understand your unhappiness supersize, you went from viewing yourself as a 9, to having it destroyed, and now doctors are trying to just put you back to where you came from. I think that would be so much harder than someone like me getting a smaller normal nose, because you have an exact image of what you want to look like, whereas my result is open-ended. I like this open dialogue about it all though. Male surgery patients are increasing in huge numbers each year, it’s seen less and less as a womanly idea to get plastic surgery. My nose looks like it was photoshopped from a close up photo, and put on head taken at a distance. I can’t wait for male surgery to get mainstream….

It sounds like we’ve had very similar experiences, except mine was with my penis. I had enlargement surgery back in the days before thunders etc existed. I was just a young guy who was hugely insecure about his size and sadly didn’t have the resources to research other alternatives (back in 1997 the internet wasn’t what it is today!). The surgery was a disaster and like you I went through hell was ended up on various anti depressants. The trouble is PE surgery is very rare and so few surgeons perorm it world wide. It isn’t like Rhino when there are thousands of surgeons and in an advanced stage with many experts who can reconstruct. There are about less than 10 PE surgeons in America and to be honest they aren’t exactly the cream of the medical proffession. As a result my reconstruction options are limited and for the last decade I’ve had to deal with it. Like you described from your own experiences, it totally rules my life and though I try and look to others who have it far worse off than me, at the end of the day I’m so obssessive about this, that I can’t function as I’d like. Hence I feel terrible about myself, especially when i see people in wheel chairs etc, making the best of what they have, when I’m an intelligent (reasonably anyway), fit young guy, with great family and friends, seemingly with every thing going for me, yet I let something so trivial as a small (and now sadly deformed) penis ruin my life.