no solution

Morlock-
Maybe you’re intentions are good but you are completely off base and out of line. Unless you yourself have suffered what AirAl has courageously shared - you really can’t speak to the matter (except to learn from him).
When did he ever say he wasn’t aware of where the problem “really” exsists?
As someone who CAN relate to AirAls predicament I pray you never find yourself there. I’ts a dark and ugly place I’d wish on no man. And it takes a brave man to admit it.

Morlock, to quote you “You need to be looking elsewhere to solve whatever it is that is bothering you.”

AirAl-
Excellent post. Especially the words of advice. I’m glad to see you’re at a better place.
If you don’t mind, I’d like to add an exlamation point to #2:
“If, and ONLY if, she negligently tells you that a former lover was bigger..”

Fellas, the key word here is “if”. Given that nearly anyone reading these boards has an issue with penis size (their own esp.) refrain from probing these matters with the one you love. Especially avoid the “What’s the biggest dick you’ve ever had?” question. Save it for the females you have no feelings for. Trust me, a shit-load more harm can come than good.

Once something is said, it cannot be unsaid.

Thanks for sharing all of that Air and good luck.
——Cap

CaptnHook:

Thanks for the defense. Didn’t bother me much though.

Now that you mention it, if I’m in that position again I might go as far as telling a new lover: “Look, I am really enjoying the time we spend together and I want you to know that I don’t want to know any sexual specifics about you former lovers. That topic has caused me a lot of pain in the past, and I would be happier if we just leave that area of the past behind.” Setting the ground rules like that would have saved me some suffering. Thanks and good luck to you too.

Morlock: In the future just don’t waste your time reading this type of post. The thread has served a purpose for some of us, and therefore it is worthy of being here. This IS my way of dealing with it. That and openly discussing it with my woman. It’s a problem that is MINE not hers, and she has been graciously and patiently helping me through it. Expressing myself about this in Thunder’s and receiving knowing support from other members has been a great help too. Thanks for your concern over my well-being.

Air,

I’m glad to hear that.

I’m sure that any skilled shrink would gather that I was defending myself as much as I was you - maybe defending all guys who have found such a seemingly irrelevant matter suddenly snowball and take on a life of it’s own. In my case I was never able to share with anyone, not even my most trusted friends, the inner turmoil I was suffering at the height of my own ugly experience with this matter - and I regret that back then I didn’t have a community like Thunders to lean on.

The fact that I see red when somebody belittles it is a testament to how deeply this shit can wound some guys - and believe me I’ve got pretty thick skin.

Who knows, maybe I’ve still got some demons inside who want out - but I couldn’t agree more with what you say about keeping firm boundaries on discussing a lovers past. Leaving well enough alone.

I admire your courage in sharing this stuff, Air.

-Cap

Cap,

Don’t hesitate to share in the future if you need an ear.

Take care,
Air

Al

You have a great girl, relax and be happy.

I wanna be a freakshow! :D

Dino9X7: I know it. I might be hooking up with her permanently :-)

Hey, obviously girls care about size but only to a certain extent. You’re thinking about her comment all wrong. she was complimenting you on your size by saying you were huge, bigger than almost every guy. She showed that she was being honest (and not just giving you false compliments) by stating that someone else may have been huge too (maybe bigger) but that you’re an amazing lover.

But if you think about it, that’s awesome! Say your wife had huge beautiful breasts, perkier than other ones…just better than perfect. And she asked you honestly if any other girl has had bigger ones. Well perhaps sometime in your past you hooked up with a girl who had enormous jugs, but that sagged and didnt turn you on….never the less you remember them. Well, you might tell her, only one girl out of all of them had bigger tits, but they weren’t as nice looking and didnt turn you on nearly as much. Obviously in your mind, you love your wifes tits and they’re the most perfect ones ever, but she may perceive herself as not being as beautiful as the other girl just cause of your comment.

You have the same esteem issue that most of us have….many guys here will never be satisfied until they know they’re the biggest that every girl has experienced….but this need for esteem, is a problem that a lot of us have, including myself. Your dick is absoutely huge, probably in the top 5% of the world. But someone out there is always going to have something bigger….you have to learn to accept what you have and use that to your advantage. Your confidence in your dick will make it ten times more powerful that some guy that’s half an inch thicker or longer.

When girls talk, yes they say “he had a huge dick”….but they’re friends are much more interested when they say “ya he had a pretty big dick (not the biggest), but he made me come all night long, and i gotta get some more of that”…..thats when you know they’re comin back for more

Skinny

AirAl, sorry to come over so intense man. I’m glad you are sorting things out with her and hope it all goes well.

I just don’t think thats good having that anxiety in the first place. You are well hung and obviously please her but there are just so many posts on this board from good men who are here to improve themselves yet constantly talk themselves down, pick a negative name or belittle themselves in their own head and here to all of us. It’s not right. We are all here working on it and anything is possible, people don’t need to bash themselves. Life is too short.

Peace

skinnyguy: That breast thought is a very good analogy regarding interpretation. I understood from the beginning that she intended it as a compliment. I just needed more specifics to quell my suspicions over whether the bigger guy did something for her that I can’t. This forum, for all its benefits, has a significant number of threads indicating that size matters to women, even to the ones that don’t think that size matters. My girl actually falls into that latter category, but she has to admit that my length (about 7.7 right now, 8 is my goal) makes a difference to her. Let’s just say that because of the deep sensations, albeit without the vaginal orgasms other guys here talk about, I don’t think she would want me to be an inch shorter. She would love me just as much if I was though.

Morlock: No offense taken. I’ve told myself many times to “get over it”, believe me. Until I discovered this forum I was pretty much on my own in doing so. Between the realistic hope that PE offers (I’ve gained about 1/2 ” in length) and the great support from other men in the same boat, Thunder’s has been a god send. That’s why I kicked in a $100 a few weeks ago.

I also want the biggest dick in the world!

I’d hate to think that a guy is bigger than me.
But in the end I just want a big enough dick to satisfy me and my girl.