Need some SERIOUS help and advice!
Okay… quick background… I’m in my early twenties and go to college. Up until quite recently I had a lot of trouble getting women because I wasn’t good socially. Hanging with a new group of friends and learning from them has transformed me to the point that I’m now one of the guys having the easiest time picking up. However, my super-long period of not getting any meant that for all that time I was getting my sexual kicks by jerking to porn, and often.
This semester I’ve taken home some girls, and apparently I am essentially impotent with actual live girls. I can get myself hard and stay hard for a long while watching porn, but having a naked chick in front of me doesn’t get me hard! Now, since I’m not likely to see these girls again, it hasn’t bothered me ALL that much since all my friends know is that I got laid and nobody has to know the sloppy truth. I’ve been chalking it up to too much alcohol and hoping for better luck next time. As frustrating/embarrassing as this sounds, I haven’t yet mentioned the worst part.
I’ve been hanging out with a certain girl for a while, and we really like each other. We have a lot in common, she’s pretty, smart, and basically what I consider girlfriend material. We’ve been “hanging out” for probably a month now, and last night after a couple drinks it was headed for sex. I could see where it was going so I made sure to limit it to a couple beers. Now, seeing this girl for a month I pretty much see her as a friend, and porn has messed up my mind so much that I can’t see her as 100% doable since I’m starting to have feelings for her. How messed up is that!? It’s sad as hell but true… I can only think of screwing random sluts whom I have no feelings for (but even then I can’t get it done when it comes down to it)! Now this chick is a babe and dancing with her at the club and making out at her house got me hard, but of course as soon as I was about to bang her I went completely and hopelessly limp. She was totally disappointed (wasn’t rude about it but it was obvious), I felt like an utter piece of crap, and said something along the lines of “I’ve had a really tough week…” like that would make her feel better.
If you haven’t gone through this sort of thing I can imagine guys thinking it’s not a big deal and just some performance anxiety or whatever, but it’s totally killing me now and I don’t know what to do anymore, now that I actually care about a girl and don’t want to lose her over this! I’ve decided that there’s no way it’ll happen with her again, and I HAVE TO screw her brains out no matter what the next time we go there to make up for my pathetic 1st attempt. I know that “it’s a long process and blah blah blah” but I don’t even care what it takes right now… like I’m thinking of popping a Viagra and getting the job done next time because there’s no way I could go through that again.
How could I somehow get my hands on some Viagra without the usual credit card statement that would show up after ordering it online? I share my credit card with my parents and they see all of my credit transactions. Also, is it possible that I might do some damage by having an erection lasting too long or whatnot? I just need a quick confidence boost because I can’t go through that again or I’m only going to seriously sink into depression.
Last edited by westla90069 : 11-18-2007 at . Reason: Space between paragraphs added to make reading easier.