Long Time Struggle With Psychological ED
I decided to post this because I have had a continuous struggle with psychological ED. When I was just a young strapping lad of 13 or 14 I used to get wood all the time for no reason. Typical teenager I know. Then when I was 15 I got into a sexual relationship with a really screwed up girl that lasted quite a few years. In the end we broke up because of sexual issues- but some of the baggage I got from that was that every time I got aroused and hard she would just shoot me down. So in the end I had the hardest time achieving anything close to a full erection.
I can still achieve an orgasm even if only at half mast which is odd because you would think that you needed to be fully erect for that. there are some times when I get fully aroused, but usually that is only a day when I just feel good and horny and I forget about all the mental crap. Easier said than done because when I start looking at my erection I go into PE mode and try to figure out how big it is. (Too many years of eyeball appraisals to get an idea of size.) Of course then my arousal usually goes away and I am left with a half mast again.
The odd thing is that when my girlfriend is around and we have sex regularly than all of a sudden I am back in teenager mode again and I could drill holes in the sidewalk. I know I am transposing those issues from my ex onto her, but I am not really sure how to stop. This especially becomes a problem when we have time apart like right now.
I have the Barbara Keesling book “How to make love all night…” and some of what she suggests of not focusing on the erection but on your arousal did work for a little while but it is hard to get into that state of mind.
I am wondering if anyone knows of a good counter mindfuck to the one that I got. I am trying to find a way to mentally get over these hurdles because as silly as this sounds as a result of my ex for the longest time I was ashamed to be sexually aroused. (Ironic because she had a string of one night stands after I dumped her.) Now it just seems I am so focused on erection level that it has become a major issue. The funny thing is that right now it doesn’t even seem to be what size it is but rather that it is just hard. Maybe I cannot get over the correlation of wanting size and being erect.
Hopefully someone out there can give some sage advice because I am at a loss. Either that or maybe twat can give me some idea to mindfuck my ex just for the sweet taste of revenge. :D (Kidding - for the most part.)
Thanks in advance.
"Yeah, we don't need another smart ass ... we have our share already." - ThunderSS