I've cured my premature ejaculation

That’s 4 minutes longer than I can usually last ;)

Motivated, unfortunately it’s a lot more complicated than that! (life always is)
My wife is pre-orgasmic. Yes, she’s never had an orgasm. Probably due to a fairly strict upbringing and generally low self esteem she has lot’s of issues with sex.
1. She doesn’t like oral sex (giving or receiving), but she will occasionally give me a blow job for a very special treat.
2. She doesn’t like me touching her clit or vagina with my hands either. I’m restricted to penile penetration only.
3. She doesn’t like being adventurous, so vibrators etc… all out of the question. Reacts aggressively to any such suggestions.
4. She thinks masturbation is sick and wrong.

So you can probably see why she has never had an orgasm and probably never will.
On the plus side.
1. She does enjoy sex when she’s in the mood for it. Which is 2-3 times per week, so that’s ok.
2. She does have a hot body and is very sexy generally although she doesn’t think it. So I do enjoy the sex we have.
3. She is fairly young 28 so we still have time on our side, to eventually get her over the ‘edge’.

So it’s very tricky. I always thought it was ‘my fault’ becuase I couldn’t last long enough to make her cum. I thought curing my prem ejac may fix everything. But now I can last 20-30 mins of hard thrusting and she can’t handle it, get’s too sore and urges me to cum so we can stop. She needs to learn ‘how’ to orgasm. I’ve tried the CAT position and everything I can think of. It’s extremely frustrating. It could be that she, (like over 50% of women) cannot orgasm from penetration alone, in which case I’m screwed anyway. However being an arrogant male, I will never give up the hope of acheiving my goal. So…. we’ll see.

The kids are 4, 2 and 0 years old, so yes it’s tricky. But like I said I will keep trying to find some decent amount of time. I think this is the key. Finding time when she can truly relax, take lot’s of time on forplay and really get into the ‘mood’ etc… This would create the kind of environment where new things could happen and more heightened levels of sensual experience could occur. Which would be great steps toward the goal.
(Sorry for the long ‘off topic’ story) any comments/suggestions would be welcome.

Yeah, sounds like she likes G-spot and CDS stimulation. Paxil would change things a lot for you.

Seriously, if you’ve tried everything else and it hasn’t worked for you, then give paxil a go.

Anybody heard anything on Dapoxetine Hydrochloride that Johnson and Johnson were running tests on a little while back? I haven’t got time to check it out myself.

I briefly heard that the FDA here in the US did not approve it. I’m not certain if this is true. And if it is true, I don’t know what it will mean for the future of the drug here or in other countries.

Dapoxetine, the new drug from J&J, by the way, is itself an SSRI, like Paxil. But it apparently has a shorter half life than Paxil and other SSRIs, so it moves through your system faster. I don’t know if Dapoxetine is meant to be used on an as-need basis, or if one is meant to take it daily. Other than that, I have no idea what the key difference is or might be compared to the SSRIs currently available.

I don’t know. SSRI’s are sex drive killers and since I don’t have a sex drive anyway I’m scared to try. I took Wellbutrin XL for about 2 months and it didn’t change anything.

Great attitude! Great expression: “pre-orgasmic”! Yes, never give up. Tomorrow, everything is new. In fact, each and every moment, everything is new, trite as it may sound.

I don’t really know what to suggest. I would recommend starting a separate thread on the subject, if you haven’t done so already. This way you can get the collective advice of everyone here, which should be helpful.

I once dated a woman who had never had an orgasm with a man (or woman), and she also told me that she didn’t masturbate (though I never really believed her on this one). She said that before we started going out, she had come to the conclusion that sex just wasn’t for her. Things changed radically after we started having sex. The only thing I did, really, was give her the permission not to orgasm. I made it a complete non issue. And I had wild sex with her regardless. But she was into oral sex and the use of my hands, etc. And I don’t think there was any problematic sexual issues going on with her. So your wife’s case may be very different.

I suppose that one possibility is counseling, if your wife is interested and willing. It does sound like the root issue is her attitude toward sex generally, and toward oral sex and the like in particular. Perhaps you could look into marriage counseling with this as the focus, or into a good sex therapist. To the best of your knowledge, how did your wife acquire these attitudes?

In the mean time, if it’s penetration alone, then I’d be as creative as possible with this. For one, your wife may not be very inclined to vaginal orgasms but very capable of having a clitoral orgasm. So try positions that stimulate her clitoris (there are many). Also, try removing your penis from her every few thrusts and massage her clit with it for a bit. Do this briefly at first. If she likes it and allows it, do more of it and see how it affects her. I regularly do this with women, and all have loved it. (In fact, this is a technique I use to slow things down when I feel like I’m ready to cum.)

If you have success with the above, then, after some time, tell your wife you need her to hold your penis and massage herself with it, as it’s easier for her to do this than for you (or tell her whatever). Ask her to do this in the heat of the moment. She may go for it. If she does, start making this a regular practice, alternating it with thrusting. I once dated a woman who would lay on top of me, with her back to me, and with my dick sticking up between her thighs. She would then use both of her hands to masturbate herself, basically, by massaging her clit with my dick. This was fantastic. She had really intense orgasms this way.

In sum, use your penis creatively, and then see if you can get her more involved in the show. You then might be able to stick a finger in hear while she is massaging herself with your dick …

Does your wife drink or smoke pot, perhaps? Either or both may help to loosen things up.

That is very erotic. Just about any woman would really enjoy that, especially with it being so rare.

Thanks Zane. Is it really that rare? I never assumed that it was.

King_G,

Zane’s presence made me think of one other possibility: Why don’t you see if you can get your wife on Zane’s fish oil diet. I suspect that would help a lot with vaginal orgasms. Perhaps you could coax her into using a Gynaflex as well!

Yes, it’s that rare. Did I mention it’s really hot? Can’t stop thinking about it. What would be really great is getting a speedbump Fleshlight insert and taking it out of the case and squishing it up and using it on the guy so only his head pokes out, and to steer it that way, his head rubbing against my clit. That would be really, really, really, really, really hot.

I’m doing so well not thinking about sex.

There will be definetly some side effects in the long run, We are here to discuss Natural Techniques…No Viagras please

Sorry bud, but that simply isn’t true.
Do you call streching your dick with a bib hanger and weights natural?
We are here to discuss what works. Don’t try and stifle a solution because it doesn’t ‘conform’ to your subjective view of ‘natural’.

And by the way, SSRI’s are nothing to do with Viagra.

Thanks for the tips. My wife and I don’t drink or smoke pot.
I forgot to mention that she doesn’t mind giving me hand jobs at all and we do that quite regularly. She just doesn’t like me touching her. I think she views her vagina and clit negatively. Although there have been a handful of times over the 7 years where she has let me slip her a couple of fingers and she ‘loved’ it, arching her back and all that and seemingly coming quite close to orgasm, but then she’ll just suddenly want to stop. The next time we have sex, I’ll try to use my hands again and she will say no she doesn’t want to…???
Well, anyway, you’ve given me a few things to work on so we’ll see what happens…

Zane, I don’t mean anything bad by this but, you are at completely the opposite end of the sex spectrum to my wife. I think my wife is the exact opposite of you. So even though you are a woman, I don’t think your advice on what works for you can work for my wife, you’re just too different.
You are totally comfortable/even enjoy discussing sex - My wife loathes me ever discussing sex with her.
You are sexually completely aware of what you want and what works for you - My wife hasn’t even had an orgasm…. ever…!
You are sexually liberal - My wife is about as conservative as you can get while still being under the age of 30.

If I mentioned doing exercises to tighten up she would ‘freak out’ and think I was a disgusting pervert. lol.

Have you ever had success with this kind of woman before ie. non-starter?