Issues With Libido
Lately I’ve had very little, if any, sex drive. My new girl (who was my best friend for years now) is beautiful. A 9.5, if we wanna play that game. Not me saying it - just people who see her pictures. Amazing. I love her. Not a lack of attraction.
Regardless, I have trouble getting it up. I’m 21, which makes it worse. Now I think there are a slew of reasons. I’m going to list the possible causes, as I think this whole thing is multifactoral:
1) Depression. The past 3 years of my life have been hell. Loss of a father, a home, 2 best friends (overdose and suicide), moving a lot, full-time school and 30 hours a week of work, and insecurity in general with things. I know depression fucks with your sex drive.
2) Insecurity: Ties into the above, but it’s more on the border of performance anxiety. I’ve never had trouble pleasing girls I’ve been with in the past, but sometimes I just worry about the size of my unit. Now, I know that’s not everything, but it means something to me, and when I know a girl has been with a guy with a rep of being “huge,” it kills me, my ego, and apparently my libido.
3) Ephedrine. For awhile I took EC (ephedrine/caffeine) as a stack for multiple reasons (training, diet, general enjoyment). That’s the past few months now (maybe 4-6), and during that time, it was a dry spell. I could get hard and masturbate, no issue here, but I found out the ephedrine can cause a loss of libido, which could explain why I was able to watch porn and get hard and jerkoff, but not really just spot a cute girl and get a wild erection like I used to.
4) Porn. I, for the past months, became so into porn, my routine of popping on something, anything kinky, rough, a bit out of the ordinary, and getting off VERY quick, that’s it. No foreplay, nothing but my hand, etc. Lame, but that’s how it’s been. I haven’t had much interest in anyone, and I’m not one for one night stands. Since there was no relationship, I wanted no ass. Maybe I wanted no ass because my libido was dead then too, not honestly sure. Chicken or egg thing, kind of.
5) Testosterone Levels. I got this checked months ago. I had 436 ng/dl or so. I know that’s in the normal range, but on the low-moderate end of things. Naturally, you can have close to 1k ng/dl, so I feel pretty “blah” about this, although my doctor said it was nothing to worry about. I’m not sure.
6) Training. I haven’t lifted weights in at least a month or two steadily. I started maybe a month back, for a week, and then stopped. I haven’t trained consistent, and well, for AWHILE now. Maybe since I started taking EC stacks, around then. Either way, I know lifting has an effect on your testosterone levels, so maybe this would help. I workout and am in good shape, that’s not the issue, just no real resistance training.
7) DXM. This is the psychadelic in cough syrup. I don’t need to be lectured on it, so please no one do this. I always loved this drug, since I was in highschool. I’ve taken it for years when I have no responsibilities (school and work all done? then to me it’s like having a few drinks), and it hasn’t been an issue, but I know that when I’m ON IT, I can NOT get hard. Even if I watch the most gruesome, nasty porn, I do NOT get turned on. Mentally, maybe, but physically my body just doesn’t react. Not sure if it’s a nerve thing not signalling properly or WHAT. Recently, before classes started again this Fall (last week), I took a HUGE trip with some friends to cap off the summer. I’ve done big ones before, never was an issue, but maybe that, along with some of the other stuff above, has caused this problem.
8) Stress. Because of so many things in my life now, obviously stress may be an issue.
I think that’s all. I know it’s a lot, but I’m really trying to fix this. I want to please this girl. I can’t even express how much she means to me, and she’s wild. I used to love being rough and wild too, but lately I just feel so “blah” about my ability to not get it up, that it’s cratering my life.
Please help with advice. Thank you all.