I'm an attractive 20 year old guy thats impotent and suffers from PE

Read this :Porn and the death of my penis

heres the deal with that. I went and told my parents I just wanted to go for a checkup instead of telling them the real reason I wanted to go. I got there and talked to the doctor and when I brought up the problem he basically just said it has to do with anxiety and stress. I really didn’t want to get in major detail becuase there was some lady there tagging along with the doctor, she was there when he was examining my package, and it was just awkward. I got the blood test, and pissed in a cup.

I didn’t talk to the doctor after that, and I didnt see the results. I did talk to my parents though and they said everything turned out ok.

I don’t know what they tested for, or even if they did test for a problem, but I havent heard any bad news so far.

I don’t want my psychological knowledge to be the issue here. If my advice makes sense take it. However I am preparing for graduate school in psychology. I defend my advice not to go to a Dr. (Except to get Viagra) because he had just been. I am not a Dr. But if the Dr. He saw was not concerned I trust his judgment.

Here is how it works our anxiety is long term preventing initial arousal. One of the main reasons people have night mares is because their worries fallow them through the night this is reducing your morning wood. However, your anxiety level keeps your sympathetic nervous system high (this is what we call stress). The sexual system is simply an extension of the sympathetic nervous system. Think of it like revving a car engine. Because you are going at very high rpms it’s difficult to engage the gears. Once you do however, you rocket off and get their very quickly.

Premature ejaculation is very common in guys your age. A plan to deal with it is what I suggest. Picture your with a very pretty woman.. Cloths come off and whoops no booner. You say “your just so beautiful I am awful nervous. Will you help me calm down?” then guide her hand to your groin. Hopefully you took your Viagra an appropriate time before hand and this is not a problem. However, the Viagra does nothing directly for your anxiety level so your heart rate is speeding the hormones around and the sympathetic nervous system is fully awake and in high gear and your done in two pumps. You say “Wow your just too beautiful. That was just an appetizer just one moment for the main course.” and keep kissing and stroking her tell you get hard again. Hopefully the Viagra will work hear too giving you more stamina and insuring a quick rebound in erection. The key is to focus on her and not how she must think of you. Distract yourself with foreplay for the next go. If you don’t get hard again plan to get her off some other way.

I admit I am not the most experienced person in this area my problems in the sac are not like this. Does anyone else have a good strategy for saving face, calming down and getting it back up under this circumstance?

You will probably need to do some preliminary work to get to that point. Inside your still the fat kid and you are probably conflicted over people who just want to fuck you for your body. You don’t trust them that you really are good looking but you still want the ego boost. My vote for the best advice so far is get a girlFRIEND. Some one who likes you for all of your qualities.

I`m 20 years old and I SUFFERED from PE. I had exactly your problem(except the testicle thing). You should read that thread “Porn and the death of my penis” its linked above. I solved my problems by simply stoping masturbation and watching porn, and finding a girl that understood me and my problems.

Sorry, Thunder, I forgot the ettiquettes of this forum.

I probably shouldn’t be saying this, but yohimbe works like Viagra and it doesn’t need a prescription. Since you are young I am assuming you don’t have any heart problems. It is hard on the heart like Viagra, use sparingly and be cautious. There are other side effects and it interacts with many drugs. All that said, it does work.

But really I don’t think it’s primarily a physical or even a psychological effect. You just have to recondition your penis through the right sort of masturbation.

Its a good idea zaneblue.Yohimbe works.Sildenafil ( Viagra) needs a test. Stop the masturbation for a week coul be a good idea too.

What worked really well for me was to ‘command’ myself to stop worrying.

This happened spontaneously once when I was as usual indulging in worrying about my performance. I guess you are familiar with that internal dalogue, huh? :D Anyways, suddenly that dialogue was interrupted by a different one, “Oh fuck it! Just quit worrying and enjoy! This way you are fucked anyways!” I had literally gotten to the point where I’d gotten sick of myself worrying. Anyways, that realization, that by worrying I basically set myself up for major disaster, made me focus in on avoiding that line of thought, leading to a more relaxed attitude by far. That alone improved things considerably.

I also started to study what does and doesn’t excite me. After all, when engaged in sex that holds no appeal then… yeah, big suprise you can’t get it up, huh? :rolleyes:

Anyways, I found out that I had to make some adjustments regarding my approach to doing the nasty if it was to be a top notch experience. Meaning that I had to claim the dominant role and get nasty if I wanted to get my blood running. hehehe :D

Anyways, I hope that these two tips work for you. :)

Good luck!

There is a lot of good advice here, but what Grondy and moorth say about getting a girlfriend is a key point.
Casual one night stands can be EXTREMELY stressful, even for experienced men. And frankly, that is not the way sex is supposed to be, anyway.
If you find a steady girl, it may take weeks of intimacy before you settle down and become more accustomed to her, to the point where you last longer in bed.
A girl that loves you will take the time you need, and wait for you to get aroused for round two, and will be understanding about hardness and premature ejaculation, and will help you work through it.

Casual sex should definitely be avoided, and it really does take that attitude that mule talks about, where you dominate and really don’t give a shit about the girls feelings, and you don’t seem to be geared toward that type of thing.

As for Yohimbe, I agree it works but nothing like Viagra, and it makes me feel absolutely like shit. It also will keep you awake with your heart pounding all night long if you take it later in the day.

There are lots of black market opportunities to buy ED drugs, on the internet, at Mexican border towns, or maybe from friends. Good luck.

I haven’t masterbated or even thought about porn in the past 2 days.

I was in the shower about to masterbate to see how hard I would get(but not come to climax), and I couldn’t even get hard.

I read through the porn thread posted above, and I never really thought that the stuff was so bad….and it does make sense as to how that could be part of my problem; so I’ve decided to completely cut porn out of my life(I have strong willpower so it wouldn’t be hard)

this is so depressing.

Just for the record, I was talking about “being dominant and get nasty”, not about “don’t give a shit about the girls’ feelings.”

To me the later has nothing to do with being dominant and nasty, and everything with being a total asshole.

Being dominant and nasty and respectful obviously don’t necessarily exclude one another.

Also, if you take into consideration that being dominated and treated like a whore / slave (what a great combination hehehe) are among the most popular sexual fantasies women entertain then its easy to know that with quite a few women that mode is like riding a winning lottery ticket. I know it is with my gf. :)

I once asked her, after we’d been dating for a few months, “Do you like it that I’m so dominant?” I already knew from her responces that she did, but I was curious what she would say. “Yeaaaaaaaah!” A “yeah” that was no louder than a whisper and which sounded like one big drawn out orgasm. Got her blushing and had her eyes shining with excitement, as if she was wetting her panties just thinking about it. :)

But… it definitely is only a winning ticket when done with respect. No question about that!

While a scientific studies have been able to debunk a lot of supperstion about porn and masterbating studies with good replication shows that it lowers peoples sexual satisfaction and worsens their body immage.

Regarding your impotence, not all “smoking hot women” will actually turn you on. You need chemistry. Try finding a person that truly interests you. I remember having a similar problem once when I was about 20 with probably the hottest woman I ever bedded, and I never have that problem. You may have either thought she was out of your league, which gave you performance anxiety, or you just didn’t have chemistry. You may also be the type of guy that needs to be emotionally attached (like me). A pretty slut does nothing for me. There is little doubt in my mind that I would be completely limp in the presence of a prostitute.

I agree with you mule. I was trying to say that performance anxiety comes from being so worried about what the girl is going to think about you, your dick, how long you last, how hard, how big, will she have an orgasm etc. If you worry about those things too much, you have problems. I didn’t mean you shouldn’t give a shit about the girls feelings, I just meant you have to have enough peace and confidence inside yourself, that you are ready to have fun, and not obsess about all those things.
With a steady girlfriend it is much easier to feel comfortable, and know that everything will be ok, no matter what happens. With a one nighter, it is more difficult, and those who have a “one nighter lifestyle” obviously have found ways to not be overly concerned about all the little things that the girl might be thinking.

I know everyone is different, but this sounds like you really have a problem. Some people may have a negative effect from porn which causes lack of arrousal, but I have never had that problem, and have never failed to get hard during masturbation, even though I am more than twice your age.

It may be psychological, in that you are so worried about your erection, even when you are alone, you fail to achieve one. It could very well be a physical thing too. There really shouldn’t be much anxiety when you are alone with yourself. Erections should just happen, without any effort. You need to rule out all the possibilities and get to the bottom of this. To stop watching porn may be a good idea, but I doubt if it is the root cause of all your problems.