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I'm 21 and thinking of killing myself. Serious.

I'm 21 and thinking of killing myself. Serious.

I’m a 21 year old American male. I stand around 5’11, and weigh ~ 170 pounds. I alternate between lifting weights and cardiovascular exercise 6-7 days a week. I eat a balanced diet, and supplement with l-arginine akg, ginkgo, horny goat weed,Maca, and a multi. I’ve been doing this for around a month now.

I cannot sustain a decent erection during masturbation or sex, and I can’t even remember the last time I did :(

I also cannot remember the last time I’ve had a nocturnal erection, or woken up anything more than slightly plump. I did the stamp test, and I failed :(

I can’t remember getting a spontaneous erection since I was in middle school. I remember when I was in 7Th grade I was afraid to wear shorts in gym class, but these days I just pray that if I manually stimulate my dick enough I’ll be able to get it hard. If I’m incredibly lucky- my “spontaneous erection” will be a small increase in flaccid hang.

I’m a good looking, intelligent, healthy young man and don’t think, with all the women I’ve been with, that I’ve had one worthwhile sexual encounter. When I penetrate a woman my erection will quickly subside into a weak semi-erection. So small, that I may as well just penetrate her flaccid.

From the time I was about twelve I masturbated religiously with a death grip 5-7 times a day, to the point where my penis was in pain and I’d be able to masturbate to ejaculation in the flaccid state. Since I can remember having wet dreams and spontaneous erections around 8 years ago- I assume that my years of vigorous masturbation may have caused some kind of lasting damage to my penis. After I found this forum, I’ve cut down on masturbation to 2-3 weekly, and use a much lighter grip.

Also, for as long as I can remember I have masturbated in a very peculiar fashion. I masturbate with my right hand stroking my phallus in the conventional manner, but my left thumb rests firmly along the top of my penis and I push the fat pad to the bone.

I had an epiphany today, albeit a very depressing one. I ingested my daily l-arginine, ginko, and the new horny goat weed/maca dietary supplement that I just procured from my local GNC. I then took a hot shower, got dressed, and went into my bedroom to masturbate. Since I’ve slowed down on the self love, began supplementing, and lowered stress levels I’ve had good erections. So I put on a colorful internet film, begin to manipulation myself ( in my normal, peculiar fashion), and achieve a rock hard 7.25” bp erection. .. But I looked down at my penis and wondered what would happen if I were to remove my firmly pressed thumb from the top of it’s base. I decided to do it and there was an INSTANT deflation in my glands and then shaft- as if one were to pin-pop a balloon. From what I’ve read on this forum- this would be indicative of a venous leakage, correct?

This would also explain this it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to masturbate with one hand, and why I cannot have sex with a woman without myself being on top with my thumb pressed firmly on the top of my base. Whenever I put both of my hands on a woman during intercourse there is a near instant deflation to a semi/flaccid state.

If it was not for this forum- I don’t know what I would have done. Am I doomed with the grim reality of living with venous leakage at 21, or are there other possibilities?

Please, anyone with even the smallest thing to add, do so. I have no where else to turn, and if I can’t get this situation sorted than I don’t think I want to continue living.

I’m supposed to be in my sexual prime, why would this happen to me :( x 10

Deja vu… have you seen a urologist?

Then: 6.75" x 5" ----> Now: 8.5" x 5.75"


You’ve been to a doctor/urologist right? You might be a great candidate for a cock ring. You’ve got a big dick, you can fix this, don’t kill yourself :) .

Deja vu? I don’t have insurance at the moment, but I’m thinking of going back to college( in part so I will regain health care benefits and be able to have this treated).

The first place to go is to an urologist. They have the equipment to diagnose venus leakage, and it will not take long for them to do so. If it is, know that one way or the other, everyone gets fixed.

Since you do not have insurance, you may want to wait for treatment. Most insurance companies will not insure a pre existing condition, so you will have to “discover” your problem after you are insured.

As some of the areas that this may lead to are expensive, insurance is a very good idea.

Originally Posted by TabascoJuice
Deja vu? I don’t have insurance at the moment, but I’m thinking of going back to college( in part so I will regain health care benefits and be able to have this treated).

Good move. Going back to school is always good if you can make it work and landing some student health care is sweet as well.

Originally Posted by stagestop
Since you do not have insurance, you may want to wait for treatment. Most insurance companies will not insure a pre existing condition, so you will have to “discover” your problem after you are insured.

As some of the areas that this may lead to are expensive, insurance is a very good idea.

Darn right. Might seem a tad dishonest but this is what is called learning how to “work the system”. Much of how various agencies work, be they governmental or private, is nothing more than a never ending serious of walls to keep you out and people to tell you “NO”. Learning where the doorways and windows are is 9/10’s or more of your battle toward getting help of any kind.

Running a Massive Co-Front.

Your a young man with a problem and the problem can be fixed so don’t sweat it and make the future bright. Get yourself back to school and get on the way to fixing your problem in the meantime you should try to leave your dick alone as much as possible so it may start to heal on it’s own.

I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work. Thomas Edison (1847-1931)

Docs can fix anything these days. I wouldn’t sweat it until you go to a Urologist. I mean, this is nothing to even considering about what you said in the title of thread, and I can tell you don’t really mean it by the way you write. You seem like you’re happy and your BP measurement is more than an inch over average. Most guys would kill for that measurement. You’re probably more in shape than 90% of the dudes out there, and also, anxiety only makes erections worse, which is what you have whenever you think about jerkin it or having sex. Invest in a cock ring while you get insurance.

You’ve obviously had sex. I just met a 28 year old virgin yesterday-a man who hasn’t had sex because he’s afriad women will laugh at him, and he doesn’t think like that.

You don’t even know what is the wrong yet, Tabasco, so it’s safe to put away suicidal thoughts.

Do what others have suggested and asked about. See a good urologist who has an interest and has advanced education in erectile dysfunction. Explain to him/her exactly what happens when you remove your thumb from the base of your shaft; and what has happened during any partnered sexual encounters you have had.

My bet is this: Masturbation, which is just about everybody’s private vice, is a very personal event. We all do it slightly differently. You have trained yourself to respond to the pressure of your thumb against your pubis. This position is ingrained in your brain as the most satisfying. Let go your thumb, and your brain says, “No! No! Tabasco! I want it the way we’ve been doing it!”

You can un-train yourself, gradually, to something more conventional by experimenting with other ways. (Try www.jackinworld for thousands of variations on the jerk-off theme.)

Further, venous leakage is almost always a shaft event, not a base/pubis one. Sure there are exceptions but likely, if you did have venous leakage, your thumb position isn’t preventing erection failure. Your brain probably is causing this because if you remove the thumb, all the feeling changes and your brain is saying you should go back to the tried and true.

If you have a sexual opportunity between now and the urologist visit, ask your partner to put her thumb where you normally do immediately when you let go with your own thumb. This isn’t exactly a kinky request. I mean, you are not asking her to pour a warm mixture of Epsom salts, green food coloring, and molasses on your knees before you go in. Just ask her and take a minute to teach her. You’ve got great length. Her thumb won’t get in the way. Cheer up. This will all resolve. :)



Tobasco juice , you are far too young to consider killing yourself. Especially over your pecker. Take it from someone who has had more than his share of trouble, in and out of the sack. As several guys here have already said, you can fix this. Here is a link to a device that might help you in the bedroom until you can afford to go to the urologist. I’ve never used this myself, but may be worth a try as it seems to press in where you need it.


My friend, there are numerous options out there for you .. Viagra may help even if there is some venous leakage .. A cock ring will almost definitely help .. You may have low testosterone (that needs to be checked) - if so, testosterone replacement will help .. There are other options too. Don’t even think about suicide - you just need to get to a urologist and start solving the mystery.

Good luck!

See, I thought about the possibility that I’d trained myself to only respond to the thumb on top of penis base due to my masturbation technique, but that wouldn’t account for how difficult it is for me to get an erection, my non existent morning wood, or my non existent spontaneous erections. Things have been like this for years, and I’m only 21 ffs!

I used to be a 310 pounds blob, and thought my poor erections were due to that, but now I’m healthy as an ox, and they still suck. I went through 90% of my life being so obese that no woman would even look at me, and
Through a lot of hard work I’ve become a pretty attractive young man. Spending hours in the gym daily for over a year, dieting so strictly, and now I’m left with a limp penis. If I can’t enjoy physically intimacy with a woman than I really don’t want to live anymore. Lying with a woman was what motivated me to get up at 5am every morning and run/lift.

I remember seeing a post by Yutagan( sp? ), A member diagnosed with a venous leakage, who also lost his erection when he removed his thumb from the large vein atop his penis.

All this help is greatly appreciated- I couldn’t even dream of speaking of this with anyone in real life. My heart goes out to you all, and your responses have helped ease my mind a bit. Thank You

I plan on starting school in lune, but what can I do until then? Will jelqing,pumping,hanging, or maybe liquid v/c/l help me out at all? I just need something that I can try until I get back on my parents insurance.

Hey. You don’t even know if being with a woman is or is not possible. Get checked out. Get some real information.

Being fat for so long also put you in a special and not nice space. Factor that in.

Try to come from a strength-based place for a change. You’ve changed your life around a whole lot. Go with that.



Everyone that has contemplated suicide is greatful that they never went thru with it after the fact. You are in the same position.

Work with a urologist and trouble shoot your erection issues. You can do some personal troubleshooting with cock ring, viagra, pump etc.

See if you maintain an erection on viagra.

Then see if a cock ring will allow you to maintain an erection without viagra

Keep positive and stay in the gym, stay positive.

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