I'm 21 and have no physical ED.
Which is quite normal… but unfortunately I have mental ED.
This is really starting to get to me. I’ve been seeing this girl for about 2 months. Were really into each other and she’s a virgin. When we’re making out, clothes on, standing up I get a boner instantly. I instantly feel blood going to my little fella within seconds if I simply place my hands on her lower back and kiss her. She’s just super sexy. I get a boner from basically touching anything on her. Last night though, we’re both naked and the second I take out the condom and start to rip it open I feel that my fella is all soft. It pisses me off so much!! I have this horrible association between condoms and loss of boner. Yes this has happened before with different girls. Luckily she was just starting to go on her period so I was able to hide behind that fact but this still makes me mad. I see her and mentally wanna put it in and just get going but I have this forced association.
How is it that I can get a hard on just from kissing her with clothes on and putting my hands on her booty, but naked as I’m looking at her sexy sexy sexy figure and just wanting to ram her my fella won’t cooperate with me? He just goes all soft and lifeless on me. It’s somewhat comforting, at least, to know that It’s all mental and not physical even a little. I can overcome it someday, hopefully soon. When she gives me head I’m hard right as she’s going down to it (AS LONG AS I KNOW SEX ISN’T A POSSIBILITY OR APPROACHING) and by the time she gets going I’m a rock.
I’ve unfortunately been raised and surrounded by situations where I feel as though It’s expected for me to perform well with things. It’s this fact that makes me (especially about something such as sex which society has shaped to be a main source of masculinity and pressure) feel as though I NEED to do well. I know this is the stem of my problem and if I could just ignore it all I’d be fine but I can’t. I don’t even find myself thinking about anything negitive right before sex… I just notice my heart rate speeds up and then nothing happens down there. It’s this unconscious thing that, at least I feel as though, I can’t control. I’m not envisioning myself failing, i’m not dwelling on a past failure either… I just get nervous and shit goes bad. I was sitting there after kissing her and she’s playing with my junk and I’m all soft too! Even after when she’s got the tampon in because she bled a little (I guess it’s lucky I never got it all hard before because she was literally starting her period then). I’m like sitting there and a cute girl is playing with my thing and It’s all soft because that nervous anti-boner is stuck in me, haunting me! AHH!
Please help me guys… Please don’t just say to not worry about it, I’ve read that solution plenty of times. I know that’s the end result of want I want to do. I’m lucky that she went on her period so I was saved. This is really depressing me. I know at least one person out there has had this happen and can help me. I’m someone who really can employ mind over matter in situations, I swear… Just not this one or kind. I can choke in tough situations - I hate it - it’s a major problem. Makes me feel like I got no control over my dingaling. I do feel confident that with time I can overcome it with the right method and a caring girl, which she is, to help me out because we’re comfortable around each other but right now things seem bad. Makes me wanna snuff it, I’m 21.
March 2006: 6.875" x 4.500" x 5.00" (BPEL x MLG x BG)
April 2007-.: 7.81" x 4.81" x 5.1" - 'And it just keeps getting bigger!'
Last edited by Johnnno : 05-18-2008 at .