humiliated and ashamed
Here I’m looking for some advice after my horrible first time (doubt I can actually say this yet) with a girl I’m starting to fall for. It might be a little long.
I’ve been going out with this girl for about a month (I’m 21 and not much experienced and shes 19). She’s already been in a 2 year relationship before we met. We took things very slowly, but it was also a matter of lack of intimacy because of my roommates.
Anyway yesterday we were alone, both knew it would happen tonight, so we ate at home together, little bottle of wine, cuddling on the sofa. Couple hours after, we started some more intense foreplay…which was mainly me kissing her all over the body (mainly on the neck). During about 1 hour and 30 mins of foreplay, I felt my erection weaker and weaker. I didn’t think much of it at the moment, and besides I was now going down for some cunnilingus. I tried the technique I learned on this forum (The Real Deal), hoping for a good impression. I thought I was doing good since she was breathing rather fast and moaning, then it seemed to feel too intense for her. I was following her hips which started going backward. She moaned ¨stop it¨ but I kept going since she still seemed to enjoy it…and 30 secs later she asked me again to stop which I did.
And then she was laying on the bed, eyes closed, she seemed to enjoy herself, I kept kissing her a little bit, and then she went on her side, legs closed. Now I’m definitely not so sure she was having an orgasm anymore. After a couple minutes she told me ¨hold on it won’t be long¨. At this point I started to freak out because I was completely flaccid since a little while. After 10-15 mins she reopened her eyes, we kissed, seemed ready for intercourse, but she quickly realized that something was wrong. She was very understanding and sweet, but I obviously felt ashamed and humiliated like never in my life. We cuddled for a little bit, then I drove her home as she had to go to work in less than 6 hours.
Now I’m even more stressed out this morning. She wanted to see me again tonight, but all I can think of now is not getting it up, which gets me all more anxious. Even this morning I can’t even masturbate…my libido is non-existing.
Not so sure what to think of her laying on the side either. Also lately, my erections are not super hard when I masturbate and I barely PE. Even when I kegel it seems to weaken my erection afterwards (if It’s a couple hours after).
Now I’m asking for advice from you guys…what should I do. I obviously feel totally fucked up.