Erection problems

Hi

I think this is the first thread I start in this section of Thunder’s.

My problem is that I can’t maintain my erection for as long as it takes for my GF to get hot and lubricated. I get a hard boner at the beginning but than it slowly subsides. Sometimes I can’t get a boner at all (only a semi and that’s if I try really hard). In the morning it’s easier for me to get hard but she only wants to have sex at night.

I assume this problem is from my brain and not a physiological one, as I get morning/night wood and even with my GF, during some kind of foreplay, if I know for sure we are not going to have sex (and I’m not thinking about the erection as something I desperately need) I get the hard on for a long time.

If i get my cock inside her (pushing it in with my fingers or using lube to get the semi inside) I get an erection in less than a minute. But I also tend to premature ejaculate using this method.

She is really bad at hand jobs as well as blow jobs and what makes it difficult for me is that she gets upset when I tell her she’s doing it wrong (and stops all sexual activity).

Lately I’ve also had trouble masturbating (it goes limp quickly and gets hard hard). When I get to the point of no return I stop having trouble, when edging for instance. The boner is not at all limp.

Maybe it’s all cause by stress? Any advice from someone who had similar problems?

I know some of you might recommend getting a new GF, but I’m really scared that the problem will persist (and that would suck as a first impression).

Miron greetings to you. I think that you have made a brilliant analysis and have already provided a platform for solving this problem. I too have experienced something very similar to what you have and it is normal and can be ironed out. Sex is beautiful and when you are with someone you love it can transcend other levels forming connections that would otherwise be nonexistent.

In saying all of that at times when things with the relationship are not healthy as was my case or one of you is troubled or whatever else it can lead to challenges in bed. However this is not the end of the world and it is during this period that couples should stand closer and see how and if they can work out this challenge.

Are there some challenges you all are facing ? I remember that even though I made love to my former lady, when I was really stressed and angry at times it was hard to maintain or even get an erection. I had a lot on my mind and several things about us which I was unhappy about and this definitely influenced my mental state and indirectly my ability to perform. If possible try sit down and find out what is bothering the both of you, depending about how you feel about the lady you are with. In my humble opinion it would be unwise to merely end the relationship because you are all having temporary challenges in bed.

Are you under some pressure and are you getting in sufficient rest?

As Phenyo mentioned, there is danger within the possibility that you’re creating some kind of backcoupling by worrying more and more.
Your girlfriend gets angry when you mention that she’s not doing a proper handjob/blowjob? You might want to choose a different angle of attack in this case. Ask her to show you how she would like to be touched and/or licked, what she likes best etc. Chances are she will ask you to show her the same. ;) And if not, you can still always ask “How about I demonstrate to you now?”.

As for the ED…
I do have some questions, too:

- Are you on any kind of medication?
- How old are you?
- Do you watch porn a lot?

I have the same exact problem. I can get erect if I sit down and masturbate but any other position I just get around 70% hard max. It’s really shitty because I’m usually the one fucking HER. I’m 19, no medication and yes I watch a lot of porn and masturbate frequently. I think I’m going to cut down on this.

Perhaps music is needed to calm the stressed out beast. Say whom, Rush,Pink floyd, Some zeppelin, Yes, maybe Alan Parson, Enigma, Something with a crying guitar. Try dark chocolate dark chocolate 60-70% cocoa is a vaseldialator, follow this up with a cortisol blocker like green tea. Cut the beer down to only two per day or less. Relax! Take some daimiana, or gensing, Yohimbe with ginger. Try soft dim lighting.

I don’t watch porn that much, no medication and I’m 23.

The main reason for my ED I think is stress, both inside this relationship and outside (I have exams at school). The fact that I think about the erection only adds to this stress.

I’ll try some red wine before sex but if the problem is not from blood flow but from the nervous system I don’t know how well it will work (let’s hope the wine relaxes me enough to not think about my problems).

Regarding music, I heard Enya was supposed to reduce stress. We’ll see…

Music to reduce stress? There’s only one choice!

Go to somafm.com and check out

• the Secret Agent stream and
• Drone Zone

Frustrating, I have this problem as well. In fact we just tried sex 4 minutes ago, she’s rolled over to nap and has given up and I’m here trying to find out what the hell is wrong.

“”My problem is that I can’t maintain my erection for as long as it takes for my GF to get hot and lubricated”“

Can’t you just stimulate your self manually while she’s getting ready or are you actually doing this?

Me and my girlfriend jerk each other off, that`s our foreplay usually. We both start limp and about in a minute we both get horny (me having a boner and she`s wet, but if you say she`s lousy at hand jobs…I don’t know, but I think you should really try this) . Sometimes I lick her pussy and she gets very wet and it turns me on and I`m having a boner and I`ll start banging her, you can also try this.

Yeah I’ll have a boner for hours on end while my pants are still on and we’re kissing, but once the condom goes on, the boner subsides immediately, she’ll try to jerk it to get it up, which can take a while, and once it’s up and she takes her hands off of it, it subsides IMMEDIATELY. Then she’ll do it again, and I’ll just feel like I’m ready to cum, once she takes it off, it subsides IMMEDIATELY once again. It won’t stay up unless there’s practically a death grip on it. When I’m rarely inside of her, my boner dies in about 30 seconds while inside of her, while I’m thrusting.

This is very depressing :(

Are you PEìng?