Does your sex drive fluctuate? By how much?

Guys,

I`ve been having some issues with overall well being and libido for a long time now that I have yet to figure out completely. I`ve been on a few cycles of SERM therapy (clomiphene 25 mg ED) and it helped tremendously at first, but I`m not sure if I would call it a complete success.

It is very annoying because I experience periods of my life where I actually feel completely normal. For most of last week I had a heavy flaccid penis, good EQ and an acceptable sex drive. Not very good EQ or high sex drive mind you, but relatively acceptable standards. Then, these last two days I`ve been feeling rather shitty out of the blue. Pretty much little to none sex drive and a feeling of a penis that just hangs there lightly without any function beyond urinating.

Anyway, I`m thinking that perhaps I`m so focused on my sex drive and EQ because of my issues that I perhaps read into it too much.

I know that most mens sex drive fluctuate, but how much is normal? What is your experience? Does fluctuation mean that you go from wanting sex 10 times per day and down to 5 or do you go from low sexdrive to zero, like me? Or do you have a more steady sex drive?

I know some will think that I may be overdoing PE, anxiety issues, etc, but I can assure you that is not the case. I perform a very light routine at the moment and this is a problem I experience on my own without a partner.

Looking forward to hear your experiences.

Thanks!

Renholder

I should add that I`m looking to take steps to improve my situation, but it`s very tough since it`s hard to get proper help here in Norway due to a general lack of knowledge on the subject. I was at the bottom end of the testosterone range at age 26 and several doctors said I was just fine. I finally convinced my doctor that all my symptoms fit with low testosterone and that I after all was just a few decimals from the bottom of the range. After she googled “testosterone” in front of my very eyes and took a timeout (yes, she googled it) and I convinced her with some pubmed articles, did she agree to let my try clomiphene although she did not have a clue what it was. According to the bloodwork, it was a success after the first month, providing the results are reliable that is. While it defintely improved my situation tremendously, I still don`t feel the problem is solved at this day. Maybe it just provided a short term boost.

It seems that my estradiol is on the low end of the scale as well, although that is yet to be confirmed completely since the test is probably not reliable. Low levels of estradiol is associated with low sex drive. Yes, contrary to what most of us men believe about estrogen being all bad.

Anyways, I was so tired of struggling with this on my own back then that I took the little relief I got and moved on with my life and got busy with other stuff. Now that I finally have some more time, this is something I need to get handled once and for all. The first step is a complete body check tomorrow with ultra sound. Then I will see if I can find a good endocrinologist here in Norway. I`m not too optimistic, but I`m ready to give it a try.

The interesting thing is that there are periods of my life where I got the DRIVE, both mentally and physically. I`m not only talking sexually, since this DRIVE seems to affect everything. 3 times or so this year I`ve been so horny that I had to masturbate at work. It`s just that this is VERY rare. However, it gives me hope since it clearly tells me that there is nothing wrong with my penis and that I have the potential to function properly. Perhaps there is just a minor imbalance or hormone that is holding me back? I`ve tried to understand if there is any causation during these periods, but there is none to be found. It comes out of nowhere and often it could happen when I`m underslept, overworked, etc.

I wish you success in your quest!

To answer your question-My horniness makes me want to have sex 4-6 times each week. I normally have it 2-4 times with 2-3 rounds 50% of the time.

My wife is happy doing it once or twice each week

I think it’s normal man. Sometimes I have no desire what so ever for sex. I’ve turned down gorgeous women and a few threesomes because of it. It just happens. Sometimes it’s for a few days and other time it can last a few weeks. But I always come back to normal at some point. There also times of extremely high sex drive. Like most things in life, it is cyclical.

I don’t worry about it at all, I’m in my forties now and my sex drive has always varied massively since i was a teenager, I can go from being sex obsessed for weeks to not giving it a thought for weeks .

Like you found there dosen’t seem to be any correlation between sleep patterns, stress levels, diet etc , just comes and goes.

Same here. Lots of fluctuations, without obvious connection to other aspects of my mental or physical health or my daily life.

Thanks for the input, guys.

It`s good to hear that I may be more normal than I think :)

This sounds exactly like me. But why am I so un-lucky with my timing? :)

I recall sleeping with a girl last summer and it was pretty nice, although I suffered from poor EQ and sex drive in that period. She came back for more the next day so I guess I rocked her world in spite of poor EQ. We ended up fooling around for a while, but my body was just not co-operating so I walked her home and said no to daily sex for the rest of that holiday. 100% sure it was not a confidence issue as I could not get anything done on my own either.

The next time I was fooling around with a girl a few months later, I packed a RAGING boner. My penis actually hurt. I was pretty sure I was going to nail her that night as I followed her home, but since she lived with her mother and had gotten such a good impression of me that she wanted more than a one nighter, I had to spend a night with my hand :)

Then, the next time I was fooling around with a girl, I noticed that I barely packed a chubby. Did not end up sleeping with her and I`m glad I did not, since I don`t know if it would have been a good experience.

Renholder what’s your age by the way. I always keep a quarter tab of Viagra in my wallet just in case.

I think getting hard on command all the time is just another porn myth many men take as normal. Don’t sweat it so much.

I think it’s a myth too , and I keep a half a tab of cialis also just in case .Sometime I can be horny all day for months at a time , and sometime I don’t feel like having sex.

Ren, the fact that YOU are noticing something out of the ordinary probably means that something is out of the ordinary. The gradual decline of libido due to aging/lowered testosterone would be so slow and small that it shouldn’t cause you to take too much notice.

It seems the way you’re describing things, you are fluctuating wildly between full desire and no desire. More commonly no desire at all. This is something that is commonly seen with a pituitary tumor. Far from being dangerous and in 95% of cases benign, they are far more prevalent than a lot of people think. The presence of a pituitary tumour seems to be somewhere in the 20% range for the average person. Most go undiagnosed. The large part of the time they are non symptomatic.

The clomifene and rise in testosterone could temporarily mask the problem. When sex drive is the issue you look to the hormones and neurotransmitters. The usual suspects are testosterone and dopamine.

For problems with dopamine secretion you might want to look into getting an MRI done just in case.

A pituitary adenoma can cause a high secretion of prolactin which is the satiating hormone after orgasm. If your body is telling you that you’re satiated there is no sex drive. Sex drive will however appear in situations where the neurotransmitters are in a build up stage before recycling such as when you are sleep deprived. It is very common for people to have a raised sex drive when they are going into their 18th-20th hour of wakefulness due to an increase of dopamine.

You can look into getting the MRI or taking a dopamine supplement like Mucuna/Velvet bean which produces a sustained increase of dopamine in the brain. See if that makes a difference. Dopamine itself actually shrinks a pituitary tumor over time so this is usually prescribed in those cases.

I might be jumping the gun here but from what I’ve read, the commonly very low to intermittently high sex drive, it seems like a very good possibility.

Sounds crazy I know, but I can always tell when a full moon is coming up because I get horniest around that time. Seriously.

I have fluctuations in my sex drive but for me it is more steady. I’m 27 and I find that my body on average wants to ejaculate once daily. Often if I go more than once daily through masturbation or sex my libido decreases somewhat for the next few days to where I might not want sex. If I go several days or so without ejaculating and then blow a load, I’m mega horny for another release within an hour or less sometimes minutes.

Occassionally if I go really long periods without ejaculating I can actually tend to have a decrease in libido for some reason.

In general stress, depression, cold or rainy weather, and illness decrease my sex drive to where I don’t want it for a few days, it feels odd and unhealthy though and I don’t like it. Spring and summer with it’s warmer weather (and more unclothed women) as well as working all day at some type of medium paced physical labor seem to increase my sex drive.

I also have problems sometimes with what I think my EQ should be, but I think my problem is pornography induced desensitization of dopamine receptors in my brain (difficult to arouse).

I think this has much truth to it as well. Use of viagra and cialis by male pornstars is well known. I remember an excellent documentary called “bigger, stronger, faster” which was about performance enhancement, it’s effects, whether it was ethical, and American culture in general. Anyways in one part a male pornstar talks about how he injects viagra (caverject actually) into the base of his penis to do his work. So I guess the rock hard erections from start to finish lasting for 30 minutes straight are at least sometimes drug induced. Comforting to know.

BTW Ren, I should add that libido problems can be very complex. I’m not comfortable leading you in one direction only. It is just one of many possibilities although it is an often overlooked one.

Another is a vericocele in the testicles which has lately been cited as a cause of lowered testosterone in men and also under diagnosed.

You should be seeing a good urologist or endocrinologist and possibly a neurologist.

Libido/desire problems can happen regardless of age. I hope I can just give you a few more places to look where there seems to be no answers. There is one, you just have to look until you find it.

Thank you all for your answers!

Thank you, Pavlovsdog!

That was an informative reply earlier as well. Very interesting all you wrote and new information to me.

Actually, I think I tried Mucuna Pruriens and I may still have something left, but I don`t think I ever noticed any effects.

Do you know if ultrasound could detect a possible tumor? I do not think my GP would send me to an MRI since there apparently is nothing wrong with me according to her. I do however have access to a highly qualified professional who perform ultrasound diagnostics and I`ve been planning an appointment for some time. If he could detect anything, I guess my doctor would send me to a specialist. If not a tumor, I`m sure he would detect vericocele (first time I heard about that condition).

My problems go way back and I`ve written much about it here earlier, but it was 2 years ago I consciously became aware that something was not as it should be as I quit my job as a carpenter and became a student. Sleeping 8 hours or more per night, low stress, healthy food, exercise, etc, for a long time, it became apparent that I could no longer blame my state on exhaustion from carpentry and being underslept. If anything, I became worse and at a point it was exhausting to do the most mundane things. Even sitting in a chair or picking up something from the floor demanded a lot of effort. Back then, I truly had zero sex drive. Not low, zero. My penis and libido was dead. All my doctors told me I was fine based on bloodwork, but I eventually discovered abnormal ferritin levels, indicating hemachromatosis, something that fit perfectly with my symptoms. After that condition was negated and my ferritin dropped after giving blood, I gave up trying to resolve it for a while (what could I do) and just moved on.

My condition improved greatly, although I still felt like shit at times. On average, I felt better though, but my libido remained low, with only the sporadic spike now and then.

My last attempt just recently was with a private doctor that I found online. He is a GP and not a specialist, but he has a more open mind than most doctors and have experience treating people with TRT. Based on my results, he said he thought my testosterone was too low according to my lifestyle (healthy and working out) and age. He offered me either TRT or that we try a more natural route, consisting of DHEA, Q10, magnezium, zinc, fish oil, etc.

I do not want TRT, so I went with the supplements. I did not notice any significant changes for the first month, but the last week(s), my libido have improved greatly and I feel the urge to release once per day, even more. Not sure if it is slow to kick in or if me being sick (influencing my hormones somehow) have anything to do with it.

The plan now is to take bloodwork and then possibly get back on clomiphene as well in addition to the DHEA. TRT is a last resort for me and I honestly do not think it is the solution for me. While my testosterone is low, it is not that low. I`d rather live with natural low/moderate testosterone than use TRT.

I have found an endocrinologist in the private sector, so I may contact him and get his opinion.

Thanks again,

Renholder

I fluctuate a lot, don’t know about normal.