Can I get have both?

I really like getting off quickly when I masturbate and have been like that for my whole adolescent life. However, it may have led to my quickness in ejaculating when having sex and after I masturbate I feel guilty for not edging it more and practicing. And then when I have sex, I blame quick masturbation. Mentally I know I want to last alot longer and enjoy having sex however I still want to be able to get off quickly when I masturbate and not feel like am doing something that will affect my performance, sexually, nor feel guilty or depressed afterwards, in either case.. Has anyone been able to master this idea?

I fully understand how you feel about this. I (have) had the same thing.
Having sex with someone for the first time could lead in a quick orgasm because of the unknown, you don’t know how she feels, you don’t know what to expect etc. When I had sex for the first time with my previous ex girlfriend, I came after about 5 minutes, but the second time we had sex I could last for about 10 to 15 minutes. And when masturbating, I find it hard to have an erection without any porn. Though when masturbating with porn my orgasm comes quicker than masturbating with fantasy. I have tried a couple of things that I thought could extend my orgasm, such as masturbating slowly, not watching at my dick at all, using my left hand instead of my right hand.. None seem to work.

But, it is said that if you practice your PC muscle with kegels, you can extend your orgasm and have harder erections.
The more you train that muscle, the more you’ll be able to hold on while having sex or while masturbating.

I hope you have at least a little bit on what I’ve said, but I doubt it’s any helpful.

Generally speaking, what would be the “normal” time to reach an orgasm (when masturbating) for those who don’t suffer from premature ejaculation?

I have always been curious about this because I suffer from premature ejaculation for as long as I can remember. I can’t last more than two minutes with either my own hand or inside a pussy.

I once read that if you ejaculate very quickly, you should be very healthy. I believe it was an article in the newspaper, they also claimed that the first human beings, the ones from the Stone Age, came after a second or two, like some animals now. But I don’t really believe it.. I would more like to think that you are more healthy if you can last longer.

I agree that if you last longer then you are healthier. It makes sense since kegeling is a healthy habit to get into right?

I’ve gone 3 hours once, I finally had to let things go or, well you know implode. Average duration here lately one hour. It is great man you don’t know what your missing.

Its a mental game and you have to learn how to play the game. With the gal you have to proceed at a pace that your mind can keep up with. If you out pace your mental side you end the game early. Masturbation requires no mental game, its just ride the excitation of the moment. Mental control is required with a partner, of course the longer you are with this partner the less requirement on mental control. Familiarization and repetition are the great sexual aids for the male. You should not fuck the girl if you are not ready, prolonging the activity can lead to more satisfying sex for both of you. Some will never be able to handle the “one night stand” or perhaps one night is all the girl will take from a “minute man.”

When you can only come quick, well, then that's it, that’s your scene. When you can prolong, then it’s a choice- Tear it up for an hour, or for twenty strokes- in my case anyway.

For me, learning how to kegel was the start of control. A really strong kegel placed at just the right spot during lovemaking is like pushing a do-over button for me, right back to the bottom of the slope.

It’s such a lovely climb, why not do it again and again?

Hmm…so you guys are saying that for a “healthy” man (one who doesn’t suffer from PE) can ejaculate whenever he wants to? For example, he may wish to ejaculate within two minutes when masturbating because there’s no one to please other than himself. On the other hand, he can pull a all-nighter when fucking a real pussy - if he wishes to.

This is something new to me. I always thought that the time it took to ejaculate would roughly be the same whether it is fucking or masturbating. Well, it is in my case. There was even this one time when my girl let me put it in her ass. It felt so good and tight that I ejaculated almost right after I went it. I lasted a whopping 10 seconds or so. Pathetic!

I have been focusing more on kegels and edging than I ever did before. One thing I found very annoying is that I always end up going to far and would blow my load no matter how hard I clamp down my PC muscle. I know this takes practice but the whole experience of edging is very frustrating. Argh…

Yup, you got it.

However, I also feel that when you always come fast when masturbating, you are in the long run compromising your sexual health. Although this is just my personal observation, the cycle runs thus.

You come fast while masturbating, then you get to the point where you’re shooting it REALLY quickly. Then, before long, you’re shooting it before you even get properly hard. You start to come with more and more of a softie. All the while you’re spending less and less time with bone crushing wood. Your body then starts to train/evolve around the new norm that says it isn’t necessary to get proper wood to ejaculate. All the while, you are perhaps que’ing your sexplay up with porn- your favorite porn- your ultimate fantasy porn- the kind of porn that even a hottie in real life might have a hard time competing with.

You can end up with nothing but a big old porn highlight running up in your head, whether you’re masturbating or not, and a dick that spurts fast while not getting totally hard.

It’s a place a lot of men have found themselves.

When you go through the effort to develop control and do PE and PE related shit such as kegels, you start to get some physical control over the area and in so doing also improve erection quality, blood flow, and staying power.

If that’s pathetic, then we’re ALL pathetic my man!!! We’ve all been there.

You might also sometimes try balling after a PE workout, the workout might desensitize you a little. Sometimes gaining control is first a matter of doing it a few times. Once you know you can control your shit it becomes easier to do so in my opinion.

When you edge, pay special attention to that SUPER HARD shut-off valve kegel. Really experiment with trying to shut down an orgasm anyway, even after the point of “no return”. I’ve gotten to the point where I can lay a little spurt up in my chica over and over again, having a series of mini-orgasms on my way to the grand-daddy.

Agreed 100%. I don’t get a full erection anymore during masturbation, but only right after I ejaculate. Things are looking better though since I started edging (with a fleshlight!).

I had a session of edging last night, and when I was getting very close to orgasm, I squeezed not only the PC muscle, but every muscle and with every ounce of my strength. I swear, if someone was to see me, they would think I was shot in the stomach and was about to die. Eventually, I was able to stop the ejaculation with only maybe a drip or two of semen slipping out of my dick. I remain optimistic that kegeling and edging will give me very good results in the future.

At the same time, what kegeling does for one is to have the control to stop ejaculation when hitting the point of no return. But, I wonder if there are any exercises that would delay the time to reach the point of no return? Because, in my opinion, men who have premature ejaculation hit the point of no return quickly, and a strong PC muscle can shut it off, thus correcting the “problem”. But, the real cure would be to delay the whole process to reach the point of no return. Or am I asking for too much?

^ I need an answer to your last question too.

Anyone?

yes I know what you mean. Its like if I have sex or masturbate after I smoke a spliff, it takes me ages to get to the point of no return, and I’m talking about constant stroking at the fastest rate. I timed this yesterday to be 40 minutes, I was going so fast I thought my wrist was going to snap. Now I think that may have something to do with the THC in cannabis fucking with the neurons in my brain, which makes me believe that its entirely mental. It normally only takes me a couple of minutes of constant strokes and I’m there (that goes for both sex and masturbation). Its such a big difference though. 2 mins to 40 mins!!

But anyway I’m really looking at coupling mental states with kegel exercises to try and overcome this. Avocet has noted some really useful tips on the ejaculation process thread. Thing is, its difficult to try and pinpoint whether its mental or physical as, going back to my weed example, I would surely put that down to the mental effects of a joint on the brain, thus affecting the sexual response rate. But then, physically, I know my kegels aren’t strong enough to stop an ejaculation. If I’m edging I can only stop the flow by stopping stimulation entirely. Slowing down doesnt work. And if I kegel at that point, then I know ejaculation is imminent.

So i’m trying to lengthen the time it takes for me to reach that point of no return without having to smoke a spliff everytime. The question is how? It would be interesting to know how one could manipulate the brain to slow down the response rate without any “medicinal” aides. Hypnosis perhaps? Positive thinking? Maybe meditation. But who is gonna sit there and try and meditate when you got a hot chick with her legs spread open waiting for you to jump right in?

There is a way around this and I’m determined to get there. I have since stopped pe’ing until I gain control. I’m sure its been stated firmly elsewhere on this forum, but whats the point in having a bigger tool if its only big for a few minutes?

Hey, I’m very interested in all this. I’m still a virgin, but some circumstances in my life have changed and as we speak now me and my friend have decided to become friends with benefits!! I am very excited, however she has been with a few guys and I’m very nervous, about my size, if I will last long enough.. You name it! Since I’m a virgin I have no idea if I am a fast cummer but I think I would be because I normal ejaculate pretty quickly when I’m masturbating.. I started kegeling a while ago but gave it up when I took some time off PE. Does anyone else tense their stomach muscles as well? I can’t seem to just tense my PC/BC muscle or whatever it is!! I remember after a few weeks I actually started cumming faster so I was pretty worried.