asking her to Kegel? (Especially from the ladies)

OK here is my dilemma,

My Girlfriend knows how I feel about the size of my unit and the other day she brought it up as she saw something on 20/20 that says size matters. She has said it matters but the most intense orgasms she has ever had are with me, not the guy that was big.

So anyway we get to talking and or arguing about sex and I had mentioned kegels to her before. She basically asked me point blank if it affected the quality of our sex(her size). So I asked if she really wanted to know this and she said yes. So I answered her truthfully (yes it does affect the sex) and she said she didn’t know if she wanted to do that (kegel) as it was modifying her body. She said it was equivalent to asking me to get a penis enlargement, I disagreed as there is a difference to doing something that is not bad for your body and basically just exercising versus having a risky operation. I have hinted that I am attempting to improve my size and she doesn’t say anything about that.

I would not have brought it up with her if it wasn’t a serious issue for me. When we have sex there are times that I cannot finish due the the fact that it is not tight enough, and that is saying something especially coming from someone that has/does struggle with premature ejaculation.

So Ladies (and gentlemen) what is your advice? How do I let her know what this really means to me? If she said my size was an issue I would gladly PE (if I wasn’t already) to try and make her happy. I’m not even sure that the kegels will help except for after childbirth getting back to her present size, but if I knew she had at least tried and it wouldn’t change I would accept that. I am really concerned especially as this is someone I would consider having kids with and if that stretched it out any more it will become a VERY serious problem. I love this girl but if I do not have a satisfying sex life there will be serious problems.

-Stubbs

If you have already talked about this with her and it has been a talk/argument, then what more can you really say to her. I assume you did share the difference between penis enlargement and a few kegels a day. Even if you were to explain PE to her, if one isn’t careful they can get injured and have to wait to heal etc. With a kegel, she’s really just exercising a muscle, right? What is she so concerned about?

Find a few websites and print out the information about kegels or just show her the sites and have her check them out herself. I am afraid her reluctance may have more to do with her being insulted that you think she has a big twat than it injuring her. If she really knew what you were referring to I doubt she would say anything so silly. But then, as I like to say, that’s just me.

I don’t agree that Kegels are body modification. They’re simply a form of exercise. Kegels would help her to strengthen the muscles of her pelvic floor. She could tighten them during intercourse for the increased enjoyment of you both.

It’s analogous to doing gripping exercises so that she can give you a stronger hand job, only there’s no risk that she’ll become visibly more muscular.

Thanks for the replies. the first time I brought it up I was very very careful with it. She had mentioned how “huge” she was and so I said something about kegels, and suggested that she try them. She was wary and did not want to do them.

I have tried to explain to her that there are other benefits to kegels beyond just improved sex.

She always goes back to the fact that if I am asking her to do them I am not satisfied with our sex life. Honestly it could use some work. There are very few times that we have sex that she doesn’t have at least one if not multiple orgasms. This is a far cry from when we started and five minutes of sex involved four minutes of me apologizing. The reason for that is I worked on it. She never asked me to but because I care I did work on it- I would have either way but not as aggressively as I did because of our relationship. She says this is the difference- I am asking her to change her body from the way she was “born” and she never asked me to work on my premature ejaculation- which I argued I was “born” with as well.

There is nothing I wouldn’t at least try to improve any aspect of our relationship but she is not the same way- especially since this is about sex which somehow makes me shallow, is it shallow to want a great relationship on every level?

What she really needs is to hear it from a woman. Preferably a sex doctor / psychologist/ friend. If she were tighter she could get more sensations from you too. It is really up to her to decide. It is akin to a woman insulting a man about penis size if a man says a woman is too “loose”. Although one is more modifiable than the other? We PE’ers dont believe that anymore though. Do we have a limit to how much we can grow? Maybe. I’m sure there is a limit to how much a woman can tighten up too.

I bought one of these for my wife. It works the PUSSY is tighter.

http://www.kege … master2000.com/

Siamguy,

Thanks for the advise, I know how she is with her friends and that is defenitely not going to be somehting that comes up. I also know she wouldn’t asy anything to a Dr about it. I know it is akin to insulting a guys size which is why I handled it very delicately.

Maxwell,

I would LOVE to buy her one of those but know she would not use it now. She has decided to start kegeling so hopefully she/we will see the benefit of that and then maybe I could convince her to use one.

Glad to here she has started kegeling stubby.

I was going to suggest that you tell her that kegeling can help prevent incontinence in women as well as prevent prolapse of the uterus. They are generally not an issue until after child birth, but she doesn’t need to know that :D

Stubby,

Tell your ole lady, I mean your loving girlfriend, to lighten up! She squeezes out a few pups, er kids, and the Doc is going to be telling her about Kegels. Or she’ll be reading about them in all those lame post pregnancy magazines that will be flooding your mailbox thanks to the hospital selling your personal info.

My wife loves them, she jokes about doing them all day while at her job - lol, she’s been telling me she’s a petite little flower. I can’t understand why any woman wouldn’t want to do them for the same reason why every guy wants a bigger dick no matter how hung he is. It’s not gonna change the “size” of her kitty per se’. Just tighten things up internally, firmer, stronger… better!
For a woman, being told her hole is HUGE is akin to a guy being told his dick is tiny. And you can sure fuck a woman up quick telling her your dick fell out (or you can’t get off) because she’s too loose - probably get yourself killed in the process also. It’s seems like the jury is still unwilling to make a decision on PE, but for women and Kegels, the jury’s reached a verdict a long time ago. I don’t understand your womans hang up. I would think that any guy that’s told he could make his dick bigger, and any woman that’s told she could make her pussy tighter, would jump all over it. No? I hate to be the one to say it, but I think your GF might just have something else going on - like she just doesn’t like sex? Age and decreased hormones?

And as far as my body “changing from the way I was born” , damn that’s been happening every day since. I used to have more hair and real teeth. Just don’t tell anyone I’m faking the hearing loss.

Thanks guys,

I told her about all the medical reasons and she still felt hurt, and as she is not too old (just about hitting her sexual peak) and doesn’t have kids I think it had more to do with things I said hurting her, even though she asked I tried to be delicate about how I told her. I think that it may have been that here initial reaction was “hell no” and then instead of thinking about it she just tried to stick with her initial reaction.

As to whether or not she is actually doing them… that is to be seen, we have been apart since she agreed to do them and I haven’t asked about them. A lot of times she will agree to do something and then it takes months to actually happen. So I hope to bring it up in the next few weeks before I get home.

Women- gotta love em.

Hey, stubby, would you mind if I asked your question on a woman’s forum I visit once in a while? It seems like an interesting dilemma geared more for women to answer. I could provide a link if you just want to post it yourself.

I wouldn’t mind at all, in fact I would love it.

When you post it please send me the link.

Stubby,

What we are doing, my gf and I, 2-3 times a week, we’ll do kegels together. She will pull slightly on my dick while I do kegels and I will insert a finger or 2 while she performs hers. What I’m saying is, we are having fun doing this and it does have to be a chore. Just a suggestion.

I was hoping for it not to be a chore :)

It’s not really the “chore” that was her issue, but if she is still not doing them I might bring that up. Thanks for the suggestion.

No problem stubby,

Of course, it should have read ”doesn’t have to be a chore”.