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Want more head!

Just let her know that you would like to have just oral sex more frequently - in addition to your regular sex life. What my wife and I have been doing recently is she will give me a blowjob in the morning or afternoon and then keep the oral foreplay portion at night. The other option is to ask her to suck you dry to finish the sex session - then she will still intercourse but you will get the oral finish you desire. You will be amazed at what your wife will do for you if you just ask (and of course if you are providing satisfactory service for her). :)

- Chris

Thanks Chris, the whole thing is that she gives head like a porn star. I cant help it, I want it every day. We both just need to find that sexual spark that we lost a few years ago. I plan on making a large effort to bring up new ideas and to talk to her.

You know, if she’s pregnant, this really isn’t a good time to be having too many expectations. And wait until the lactation hormones kick in! You will be pining for the sex you’re getting now.

My two cents

I think it's the woman's job to tighten up to fit her man--it's lots easier for us.

Buy my book! The Orgasmic Diet by Marrena Lindberg

I totally agree with you zaneblue. I haven’t been pushing sex on her at all for the last 3-4 months. We have had a few encounters but I am sympathetic to how she feels. Mentally and physically I’m sure sex is the last thing on her mind, although I have heard the opposite from other woman about when they were pregnant. They would tell me, “Holy crap I wanted it all the time”.

Boy I’m spilling it out today!

This problem has existed and gotten worse for a few years now. We started out like total horn dogs of course for the first 3 years, then put less and less effort into our sexual relationship. Now to me it is just lazy sex.

I have had numerous attractive woman in the last few years, months and days tell me that they were attracted to me and have had some old friends tell me that they always wish we had gotten together. That’s about the only thing that has kept me from thinking its all me. The fact is, my partner doesn’t even mention her attraction to me anymore and almost never initiates having sex. I’m not Tom Selek (dating myself a bit) but I’m certainly handsome enough that others are attracted to me, I don’t get that feeling from her for some reason.

Yes, she does actually get off with oral and vaginal sex, it is not a fake since I can feel her pulsating, etc.

I really appreciate your comments and any more are welcome. After reading the responses here it would certainly seem that I simply need to discuss this with her (a few months after pregnancy ;) ) and to see if we cant get things jump started again.

Thanks to all!

a few months after weaning. BTW, what you are describing is perfectly normal for women in marriage.

I think it's the woman's job to tighten up to fit her man--it's lots easier for us.

Buy my book! The Orgasmic Diet by Marrena Lindberg

Holy shit Spruce! Your avatar makes me want to fuck, immediately!

kazooplayer, I think you found my true problem, my Avatar is way too hot!
lol, I needed an Avatar, so I did a random search in Google for “Best Ass” and she came up. I cant argue with the search results, her name is Keyra Augustina.

For more of her:…ugustina-p1.php

zaneblue, if this is a normal thing for woman in a marriage then it might explain allot of the poor outcomes of marriages.

Are you saying that it isn’t worth my time and that she wouldn’t change, or that it is normal for the man to have to restart the sexual relationship in a marriage?

It’s normal for a husband to always have to initiate sex, and for the wife to only feel horny once the sex starts. This is the majority of married women, particularly after having kids.

I’m not saying I think that’s necessarily a good thing *cough book! cough* but it is the typical thing.

I think it's the woman's job to tighten up to fit her man--it's lots easier for us.

Buy my book! The Orgasmic Diet by Marrena Lindberg

Oh, I see what you are saying zaneblue.
I’ll try to find a bridge to your book for the wife perhaps. Is there a place I can go to find out more about the book before I let you fill my spouses mind with potentially harmful information? ;)


Thank you very much spruce, you’ve now ruined me for other women… after looking at her ass, nothing else will ever compare. Sigh!

I wouldn’t be so sure about that.

My wife and I have 2 littles ones - ages 4 and 1. She wanted sex the most while she was pregnant, so I wouldn’t count that time out just yet. We were back at intercourse a little over a month after the births, but were having oral a week or so afterwards. Same thing with both kids. A couple of her friends with kids that are still nursing have libido issues, but most don’t (they do have a variety of other issues though - just not in the “wanting” of sex department). Just make sure you are still romantic, and the sex is pleasurable for her … she needs to think of it as an escape from the kids, not a chore.

It has however been hard to get my wife to initiate. It is something we are still working on. A very screwed up upbringing hasn’t helped matters. She is coming around though and here lately has been initiating more and more. I do have her taking a good amount of fish oil (thanks zane!), and it has made a definite difference in her libido. But the biggest improvement has been from me communicating that I want her to do so. I suggested she just flat out tell me “I want to fuck you” when the mood hit her. At the very least I think the verbalizing of it helped her remember what she wanted to do. Putting 2 monsters down for bed is quite tiresome and telling me when she feels the urge seems to have helped her body stay in that zone for when it is our time for the night.

We have also had to cut back on other things, like movie watching. We usually have sex for about 1-2 hours each night, sometimes a bit more if we have 2 rounds. Something had to go and we both decided that we didn’t want to cut sex time short. Although if the day has been really hectic we will sometimes skip the playtime and just watch a movie. It is nice that the movie is the respite from sex, too many of her friends use the tv/movie time as their special time and then complain about sporadic or non-decent sex. Something to think about for when the little one(s) come along.

- Chris

kazooplayer, sorry bro, I am merely the messenger. It really is quite hypnotic to watch isn’t it? It is wrong that I cant stop staring at my own Avatar?

chobbs, very nice advice, I appreciate it.
The wife is actually due in about…2 weeks!!!
That being said, I think our time for her to get prego horny has come and passed lol.

The movie watching hits home, my wife over the last few years has basically turned our free time every night into “which shows are on tonight” I swear, we cant even make other plans because “we might miss Survivor” She is a good person, but she has just lost that loving feeling….it will be back to same ole same ole, once a week, “meet you upstairs at 7pm after I shower” unless I do something. If communicating doesn’t work I don’t know what I will do. I’m not dead ya know?

It sounds like you are already in a pretty ugly spiral. I am sorry to hear that. It seems to be a pretty common theme around here. :( Communicating should work if there is any feeling at all in the relationship. Getting her on zane’s diet couldn’t hurt either - search the forums, it is all over the place. At any rate, communicating will at least help both of you understand what the other needs or is lacking. Just remember, you are communicating to improve the relationship, a lot of guys seem to forget that part and the communication becomes more about accusation which isn’t the least bit helpful. Good luck to you.

- Chris


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