Depression

Thank you petit, you are right :)

I was “there” too. Too self-conscious, embarrassed, fearful of rejection to talk to anyone, especially my wife, family, close friends. It took some hard thinking to go for therapy, and then even after 6 months, I was still “unable” to “open up” with him. My therapist referred me to a really good psychiatrist, who specializes in finding the “right” meds., nine months of being on antidepressants, I at least can talk things out most of the time, it is difficult at times, but at least, now I can do it. I don’t DEPEND solely on positive feedback for others to derive my self-value or justify my feelings. So, it has helped immeasurably, but there remains much to work on.

I have to weigh in here,

Drugs change people..When you are talking to someone on drugs they are not 100% there. I have seen this so many times in my life that I find it almost unbearable to sit by and watch..People get depressed because they are fearful. Our fears and non-confronts in life take us to our grave early. Deep seated fears lead to irrational conclusions which leads to depression…Its just as simple and mechanical as that. There just isn’t much more to it. It takes a lot of work and communication to get a depressed person to find fears and irrationalities. Communicate, Communicate and communicate some more. If shes not communicating she needs to be working on something that gives her a very strong purpose. I hate to bash drugs but I’ve just seen them do so much more harm than good. I think its okay to take them if they help - as long as you are actively dealing with the fears and irrationalities. If you are not dealing with these non-confronts, the drugs will just take you deeper into non- confronting irrationalities…Just my 2 cents worth. Good Luck

I assure you I am 100% here. I’m not sure I could say the same of my former self before drugs.

Just love you all so much for helping me get through all this, lol.

But seriously, It is so nice just to be able to talk it out without feeling self conscious. It is great to share my views with you guys without you laughing and judging.

Really sorry about the multiple thread thing earlier thunder, my browser was being silly.

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate- ha, ha…. Good Luck,

I have to agree with ModestoMan, I’m 100% here too, as I was before. What is different is the way I think and respond to what is going on around me. I had some distorted views and beliefs which were causing my distress (depression). The meds allowed me to let go of the fear and worry enough to start to communicate. If you have never experienced depression, you CANNOT imagine how much it can hold one back, or how hopelessly unchangeable your reality (life) seems. APPROPRIATE use of medication is always good.

Do you get depressed again when you stop taking them or can it keep you happy forever after?

Often, the personal or social causes of the depression can be addressed while the patient is on the meds, so that the depression is less likely to recur after the meds are discontinued.

I should emphasize the meds are not a cure for depression, but rather a treatment. They subtlely change the way the mind works to make depression less likely and shorter lived.

With some people, the mere experience of having been on Prozac or a similar drug has a profound mental and spiritual effect. It shows them that they don’t HAVE TO respond with sadness, anxiety, or depression when certain things happen to them. People often think their moods are destiny—simple cause-effect patterns wired into the brain. Prozac changes the way those circuits behave. Just experiencing that and breaking the cause-effect chain, even for a short while, can dramatically change people’s susceptibility to depression later. External events are not psychological destiny. It is possible for one to be happy in spite of them.

Well, my girlfriend can’t trust me because she has been lied to all her life, by her parents and by her husband who she was with for 7 years, she knew he was an asshole and didn’t like him but she could never see the lies. I brought it to her attention that he lied about EVERYTHING and she believed me and dug into it, found out he cheated on her a lot and stuff. But pointing it out has made it impossible for her to trust me.

She said she knows she should trust me and has no reason not to, it’s just her paranoia from all the times before. Will the drugs help her with this? because she wants to trust me, she has no reason not to.

I would never cheat on my girl, I consider her to be my life partner. You may be able to tell how sensitive I am from my posts, lol.

My ex took Prozac for a short time and while it made her a better and easier to get along with person it also ruined our sex life and took her spirit away and made her a stepford wife. I like spirited but not crazy women!! It wasn’t until my ex started getting help while we have been apart that she has become a better person and able to deal with her problems without drugs. She doesn’t get overwhelmed at the slightest things anymore.

Rundown:
I can’t say if I will be depressed if I stop the meds (Wellbutrin XL = Bupropion) as I still take it, and I was on some others with no good effect. My doc. says it is “educated” guessing sometimes. He has a good reputation for on-target guesses, that’s why I went to him.

There are theories as to biochemistry controlling the psychology vs. psychology controlling the biochemistry. I’m not a doctor and don’t even play one on TV but I have a feeling they both are related, in very complex and still poorly understood ways. All I can say is that I now realize, I probably was depressed, to varying degrees for most of my adult life, and if you don’t know any different it just seems to be “the way it is”.

No, it wasn’t bad parenting, abuse, etc., but there probably is a biochemical basis for it, inherited no doubt as I now realize how many in my family history displayed some symptomatology.
Perhaps the right communication with the right person(s) would have done it without antidepressants, who knows, but it just never happened and decades are way too much time to waste when there is a finite life to enjoy. So I’m looking at it as a “jump-start” right now but if I need it for the long term, so what? I wear eyeglasses, take other meds. for my hypertension, also inherited, and perform exercise and PE for the benefits too, so as to improve my quality of life, and probably will for the rest of my days.

I saw a great “Peanuts” cartoon clipping, where Lucy pulls the ball out from under Charlie Brown as he’s trying to kick it. Charlie Brown lands on his back and cracks up laughing. He says, “That was a good one, Lucy.” Lucy replies, “I hate Prozac.”

Whether Prozac ruins one’s sex life depends on one’s attitudes about sex and willingness to experiment with new things (or substances) that can improve excitement. I also think Prozac can have a positive effect on the sex lives of people who are inhibited, by helping them to relax and be more playful.

Of course you know that I disagree that Prozac kills one’s spirit. It can make people less obsessed, paranoid, and hyper. It can take the edge off of certain pleasures, especially if those “pleasures” involve some component of pain and anguish. But many people report feeling more like themselves when on Prozac than when not. This is because one’s feelings are not as drowned out by one’s moods as they are without Prozac.

As for your ex being a “Stepford Wife,” Prozac does not make people robots. Quite the opposite, it makes people less sucsceptible to their biological “programming,” which is concerned with status, aggression, and reproduction. With the volume of these biological imperatives turned down, one actually feels that one has more free will and individuality than one does in the “natural” state.

But I do understand where you’re coming from. As my shrink says, “The opposite of love is individuality.” Prozac promotes individuality. Love ceases to be as instinctual, and becomes more of an individual choice.

My girlfriend can’t EVER relax, I don’t think these drugs will help with that.