I would like it if this could be put in the injury forum, but I do not have access to post there. I would also like to say that I do not intend this post to be a bashing of PE. I write this to help others avoid my situation, and maybe as a little therapy as well. I just think it needs to be included in the forum archive. I apologize for the length of this post.
In July of 2005 I started a light PE routine that I had purchased from an enlargement internet site. I was somewhat above average in size, and current and past partners had complimented me, but like most everyone else, I wanted more. I remember seeing someplace that PE could cause serious damage, but I thought if they are selling this program and there are all these forums with guys having great success, there can`t be any real danger in it. So I never really gave that another thought. I registered for this forum but didn`t really research it like I should have. I read up on the basics of the techniques a few places but mostly just used the pictures and instructions from the pay site as a reference and got started.
I did some flaccid stretches, jelqs, and sometimes kegels. My routine was from the pay site, but was considered a newbie routine. Stretches were light and not for long periods of time. I started with maybe 80 jelqs or so, soon moved to 100, but never exceeded 120 in one session. I think that would be considered pretty light to most people. I did my routine an average of 3 times a week. After maybe a month or so I noticed a definate increase in flaccid size, which I was happy with. I read that erect gains came later, so I kept going, but didn`t really increase the intensity of my workout. Thinking that I was not getting enough blood into my glans, I did begin to jelq over my glans—I don`t know if this did any harm or not. Also, like some others, I had a hard time not getting too erect when jelqing. I read that you should not jelq fully erect (even though the exact consequences of this always seem to be pretty vague), so I tried to avoid it by stopping to let it subside as I neared full erection. However, I do know that during each session some of my jelqs (don`t remember what proportion) were done at a higher erection level than they probably should have been.
After about 2 and a half months of my routine, I started to notice increased veinage in my penis, as well as an increase in girth. I checked the forum here and saw that veinage was to be expected. I also noticed some mild soreness the next day after PEing. I figured that was normal, but I took a break and started again when I felt ok. Looking back, I guess the increased girth may have been evidence that too many of my jelqs were being done with too high of an erection level. Also about this time (early October), I noticed that I was having trouble getting the kind of erections I had before. I also started to have problems with premature ejaculation. Although my erections weren`t the same intensity as they were when I was a little younger (I am now 30), I didn`t have any notable erection problems before PE, and premature ejaculation was not a concern. So throughout the month of October I researched these problems and also took time off from PE because of the soreness I had experienced.
I did my last PE session in late October. I was continuing to look into info on my ED and premature ejaculation problems, when out of the blue during the course of one week my dick went through the most unbelievably messed up metamorphasis. It turtled up and got hard, I lost my night wood, and it became almost impossible to get erect. This was about 11 weeks ago. Since then I have been to the urologist a number of times. I checked out fine on a doppler scan, which I believe is the major test they do to assess ED problems. The urologist does admit that I have some tissue damage, but he does not realize the severity of it because he did not see my dick before all this. There is obviously some significant damage to the tissues and most likely the nerves as well. My flaccid is sometimes hard and turtled up and other times limp and completely lifeless. It feels like what is inside is a completely different material from what was in there a few months ago. It feels like it is full of jelly. It is scary. I can only get half erections at night if I am lucky. I can`t get spontaneous erections. I have tried to have sex a few times since then but it is almost impossible to get a full erection. Then I basically orgasm upon penetration. My dick is completely messed up. I have tried to avoid sex and masturbation upon recommendation of another member who went through a similar experience. He says that with rest it will gradually heal over a long period of time (he is still healing after almost two years).
So at this point, I am feeling that I will be lucky if I can gradually heal in the months (and possibly years) to come. In the meantime I have a very gorgeous, sexy girlfriend that I used to have a great sex life with. We also had a very good, unique relationship going. I guess I have had women that measured up to her in the past, but now that I am a little older I know I probably won`t have a chance with a girl like this again. We are still together for now, but I really don`t think it will last long. It kills me that I can`t have sex with her, and although she says she is ok without sex in the immediate future, I know she is sexually frustrated. I feel like complete shit when I walk around with this cool, gorgeous girl knowing that I am basically impotent. I used to have so much going for me, and felt worthy of her affections. I feel worthless and can`t stop thinking of all that I have lost trying to put another half an inch on my dick. I keep flashing back to the point early on in our relationship when she complemented me on my size and thinking “why in the fuck did I ever do this in the first place?”
This has totally fucked me up. I have had to take time off work to try to deal with the mental aspects of this. I am sure there are those of you who will say, “oh, you just need to get a grip.” But try to put yourself in my position. I never thought I could feel like such shit. I really don`t know what the hell to do.
I guess I should stop this now, as it is already way too long. If any of you have advice, that is great. If you are going to say this is mental or it`s a case of overtraining, please don`t waste your time. This is way, way beyond that. Also, please don`t say that it`s not due to PE because it is. When I look at my dick, I can`t believe it is even possible this could happen to it. Although I can`t say exactly what part of my routine caused the injury, it must be that I was too erect sometimes when I jelqed. I don`t know for sure. Please just be careful with your PE and know that such serious injuries are possible. Avoid getting erect for any of your jelqs, and take note of early warning signs like soreness, ED, or premature ejaculation. Again, I want to emphasize I am not bashing PE. If I had spent more time researching this site, maybe I would not be in this position today. I don`t know. If my situation improves I will post to let you know.