Damage to Corpus Spongiosum
I’ve been preparing and planning for this post for some time about something serious in my life. This post is for me to find answers, seek support, follow advice and maintain a hope for a resolution. Please post serious and productive comments only. Including any questions, comments, concerns, ideas, corrections, contacts or answers if you have them.
Every day for the past 10 yrs I’ve lived with Body Dysmorphic Disorder. The thing is, what I see is not imaginary. Its real. What I most desire is to appear normal.
Almost 10 yrs ago, when I was 13 yrs old I was horny all the time. One day I was on vacation with my aunt and uncle. I decided to tie a very rough thin rope around my penis. We went somewhere public with no restrooms, I became erect and it started to hurt and I couldn’t take it off. 3 hours passed and we finally went somewhere with a restroom (my family had no idea what was going on). When I saw my penis I was shocked and very scared. It was so swollen and dark. I knew from that point that I severely damaged my penis. Having good reason to believe that the corpus spongiosum tissue of my penis was severely and permanently damaged.
I’ve lived these past 10 years hoping it would heal, or that someday someone would have an answer that could help me fix it. When I finally became sexually active, my penis would not get erect sometimes and the embarrassment only made things worse. I have not been able to feel like a normal male. And I’ve hated the way my penis looks. I constantly think about changing it, but not to make it better than anyone else’s, just to make it look normal.
I’ve heard that the medical world has successfully practiced recreating and growing limbs or organs from a patient’s own DNA and also growing human ears, noses, and even a penis on the backs of rats. I think about and wish for this every day–to have a completely new penis grown made from my cells, remove mine and attach the new one so that I can ‘start over’.
This issue has consumed me every day, and I’ve even thought about suicide. I don’t want to die. But I don’t want to live unhappy. I just want to live a normal healthy and sexual life.
Its difficult already to meet someone, to judge your personality and appearance. But its even harder passing that criteria, and finding someone that will not judge or perhaps even LIKE your penis.
-I’m Latino, 22yo, 5’9 , 140-150lbs generally
-Penis size: depends; generally 6.5 EL x 4.5 EG. I’ve ranged from 5.5 EL-7 EL, and 4.5 EG-5 EG. Penis hasn’t grown much since the trauma at 13.
Diagnosed and being treated for: hypothyroidism, low testosterone, depression, KP, granular colitis. Urologists have deemed my penis “normal” when they see it. I disagree.
Description of genitals and trauma: Apparent discoloration, inflammation, circumcision scar, head (glans) tissue damage/scarring.
Bloodflow: Normally my genital bloodflow throughout the day is low or none. Creating tight ball sac, shrunken/hidden penis. (COLD)
To show its contrasting look I’ve used a heating “bag” called Wonder Warmer, or have sat on pleather/leather that heated my genitals letting it hang due to the WARMTH that created bloodflow. Demonstrated are also pictures of me pulling my balls back to make the illusion of a longer penis, (although my ball sac shouldn’t be tight, up and out anyway).
When erect, head and bottom ridge (corpus spongiosum) does not “fill” usually without wearing a cockring.
Color: Discoloration and glans tissue damage is apparent.
Possible conditions/treatments I’ve researched:
1. An atrophic and sclerotic condition of the head of the penis (glans). Sometimes leading to stenosis and occasionally obliteration of the external meatal orifice.
2. If the cremaster reflex is CAUSED by the cremaster MUSCLE, is there a way to remove the muscle permanently or paralyze the muscle so that scrotum hangs? Different options? Muscle relaxer?
3. If a doctor can create a penis for FTM transgender, I figure the same could be possible for a male penile reconstruction.
4. Seroma classifies priapism into low-blood flow (ischemic) and high-blood flow (nonischemic) conditions. A color-flow scrotal ultrasound can evaluate scrotal vasculature.
5. See dermatologist for dermal treatment (microdermabrasion or laser). I don’t believe it will cure internal tissue damage of the glans, veins, and corpus spongiosum though.
Thank you for your time. Included are pictures of exactly what I see every day. Please help